Wasting time

[Dejena]

How do I stop wasting my time?

[therising]

Hi Dejena

That's a good question and a question I've heard a variety of people ask lately, myself included. By the way, it tends to be Victorians asking more than most. Lock down definitely messes with our sense of time. Just coming out of our 4th lock down, time's feeling pretty distorted. Just the other day, my mum mentioned how incredibly quick the last week passed. I agreed it felt like the fastest week in my entire 50 years on this earth. I felt like I wasted it.

If you could rephrase 'How do I stop wasting my time?' to 'How do I begin to recognise opportunities?', do you think this would make some difference? I've found playing with words can sometimes help change perspective. The 2 perspectives focus on different things. The first focuses on what you've lost or what you're losing, whereas the second focuses more on a new beginning, becoming more conscious. it can also help change perspective when it comes to identity: 'I am someone who wastes time' becomes 'I am a seeker of opportunity and greater consciousness'.

Coming back to the topic of COVID lock down, while in lock down, people have faced a lot of mental health challenges, for a variety of reasons. Probably one of the most outstanding reasons involves missed opportunities. While we're at home in lock down 'doing time', we're not out there taking care of our mental health through adventuring, doing the things that naturally excite us, catching up with inspiring people in social gatherings and so on. Must admit, the Victorian government triggers me when it comes to not fully considering all the mental health challenges that come with lock down. I can relate to their reasons for lock down but I don't believe it's the best way to manage.

Do you have many people in your life who have the ability to lead you to recognise opportunity? Depending on our motivation and energy levels, such people may need to kind of hold our hand as they lead us. Sometimes it's not enough to simply suggest new ways of doing things, we might actually need people to do these things with us, even if it's just to get us started. Another way of looking at this: If we're not big on self discipline, we may need to employ a disciplinarian. I personally lack self discipline to a degree, which drives me a little crazy at times and can have me beating myself up on occasion. In truth, self discipline takes skill and we may simply not have all the skills needed. The question in this case is 'What skills do I need to develop?'

🙂

[Doolhof]

Hi Dejena,

Thanks for your question. Would you like to express more in what ways you are wasting time and how it affects you? Might help you gain more clarity yourself if you expand upon the question.

Therising, I like your thought provoking response. I don't do so well restructuring my thoughts and questions so thanks for that concept and examples on how to do so.

I waste time when I am depressed as my motivation, determination and sense of purpose are depleted.

I find it hard to activate myself to do something constructive, useful, productive or even pleasurable.

Making a list, dissecting jobs down to manageable sections and ticking off what I have accomplished helps me.

Not sure what angle you are looking at this from.

Situations and circumstances can influence us. I will endeavour to change my thinking more so I too become more productive.

Cheers to you from Dools

[Dejena]

I haven't been to school in 2 months. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I don't seem to care. Last week I had most of my exams, but I didn't go to them.. I can't continue to escape from school.

What is the point in living if you aren't happy? I haven't been to school in 2 month. I don't seem to care anymore. I stay in bed all day and go on my phone every day. I see way too much too.

I don't care about school anymore
I hate that I have given up

school s so important because i need to go to university and then get a good job, if I don't finish school that is embarrassing. Even if I don't go to uni straight away, it would be difficult to get hired if u didn't finish school.

If I don't finish school then I'm worthless. Right now because I have given up, missed exams, behind on school, not going to school, not doing homework I am scared what is going to happen. I am unable to stop behaving this way and go to school because I'm scared to go.


I am ignoring my friends message because I don't want to tell her I haven't done the exams. I feel ashamed. I don't want to see my friends anymore or talk to them.

I haven't been out of the house for 2 weeks. I don't want to get out of the house.

I feel bad for my parents. They are so kind and understanding, but I'm the worst.

My sleeping schedule is a mess I guess. I sleep at 5-8 am and wake up at 3 pm.

I am a mess. I feel like I'm just wasting my life away. Not doing anything, but going on my phone all day.

The only productive thing I probably do is wash dishes, but that's it basically.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Dejena,

Welcome to the Beyond Blue online forums. We are sorry to hear that things have been so frustrating and difficult for you. Please know that you are in a safe, non-judgmental space where you can share your thoughts and feelings freely. It sounds like you are really caught in a cycle and feel really ashamed about where you are at.


Please know that you are not alone in this and we’ve reached out to you via email to check on you and see if we can support you further.


In the meantime you can call Kids Helpline anytime at 1800 55 1800 to chat with a friendly, caring counsellor about how you are feeling and to open up about what has been going on for you.


Our Beyond Blue Support Service is also available 24/7 at 1300 22 4636.
Please keep checking in on the forums to let us know how you are going whenever you feel up to it.    

[geoff]

Hello Dejena, and a warm welcome to the site.

If you are unable to go to school then there are problems you're struggling with, that you feel ashamed to talk about with anyone, so it's good you have decided to post here, all we do is try and help you through this, simply because many of us as well as other people have been in the same position as you, and we never criticise anybody because we know what it feels like ourselves to be in a similar situation.

You realise that you could finish school at a Tafe college later on, if that's what you wish and remember you don't have to be highly educated to earn good money, I know someone close to me who didn't finish year 12 but ended up in top management in a large chocolate company, so it can be achieved.

First, we need to know if a doctor has diagnosed you, and I only say this because then a plan to make you feel better will begin, because as much as you like being in bed, unfortunately, this isn't going to address your problems and earn any money that yo will be proud of doing, so let's try and help you.

We hope you can reply back to us and keep talking, but know we feel very sorry for you.

Geoff.

[amberlite]

hello D. so sorry to read that your feeling overwhelmed, I know that it's not what you feel like- but it is wise to just send an emoji to your friends. I know it's not what you feel like- but it is the wise and kind thing to do, also it will keep them at bay and when you return to your old self it will be nice to have friends to share time with. I am impressed to read that your doing the dishes- that is so much more than, some normally functioning people (my hubby) can manage! This bad patch will clear, I know cause I get it! B.W. amber

[therising]

Hi Dejena

Would you say it feels like you have zero energy? Would you also say you need seriously good guiding support in returning to school with a plan that suits you and is actually going to work? Would you say there's anything you feel you really need to vent or get off your chest? Perhaps counseling might be one of the first steps in the case of starting to turn things around. Can you pinpoint when the way you're currently feeling first started? Might not be something too obvious, so in this case it might pay to start wondering a little bit and see what comes to mind. There may be a number of factors that have all come together at some point, without you realising. Wondering can sometimes help trigger identifying individual factors, perhaps leading you to realise 'No wonder I feel the way I do. It all makes perfect sense now that I've broken it down'.

By the way, don't feel compelled to have to answer any of these questions here. Just putting some considerations out there for you to contemplate. Often, the most important part of any quest for direction and self understanding involve the right questions.

🙂

[tranzcrybe]

I can see why you are feeling a bit stuck - what are you meant to say when people ask how you went with exams? Yeah, that's a predicament to be in.
But if you were physically sick or injured, this would not be an issue and you would just say it was out of your hands, and produce a medical certificate. Why then would not your mental health or addiction to social media be regarded with any less significance as a genuine illness needing treatment? I would encourage you to visit your GP and follow up with an evaluation from a referred psychologist to submit to your school on the grounds of extenuating circumstances.
Please consider this to get your life back on track. In doing so, you will surely find that people are understanding and supportive in helping you become all you are capable and worthy of achieving.
You have experienced a 'blip' at an inappropriate time - it's not the finality and what has been done can be turned around to discover your direction once more.