Value of life

[Guest_2350]

I don't feel suicidal, but I really struggle with challenging negative thinking. I understand that I should not tell myself I am worthless, so I tried to change the sentence to "I am valuable" and for weeks I have been trying to find evidence that I myself believe. 

Am I asking the wrong question? Even when I think of something, I immediately feel like that is ok when I feel well but now there is not much value left in me? How did you get out of this? What did you change in your thinking to find answers? Any advise would be really good as I need to believe the answers I give myself.

I had a pretty messed up day, I got confused at work, got names mixed up and struggled to concentrate. I just feel flat. 

I eat and eat as if I am training for an ironman. I think my body thinks I am starving as I have no energy. I just hope I can sleep tonight.

[Jacko777]

Hi yggy,

For me it was so important to change my self talk to positive, I guess I didn't believe at first but over time it has made a big difference. Some times you have to fake it till you make it, you might not feel these things in your heart but eventually I think you will. Repetition is what got me there, I just kept doing it over and over. I believe the answers come in the space between thoughts, that's why meditation helped me a great deal, to slow down my mind, make some space. Oh, and not every day is going to be a winner, some days are better than others, yesterday is gone and the lessons from it make us a better person today, if we treat it that way.

Jack x

[Scotchfinger]

I'm not sure I would use the phrase "I am valuable." I prefer the mantra "I'm OK." Then 'I'm OK' allows for ups and downs. "I made a mistake at work but I'm still OK."

Negative thinking is going to happen whether we like it or not. All we can do is minimise it. Challenge it. "Am I really so useless?" My negative thinking tends to be triggered by pressure, when my self-confidence is on the line.

When there is no pressure, and I am at home, I have much less negative self-talk. So I have to psyche myself up before I go to work. Wear my bullet-proof vest, to be ready for any insults or errors of judgement.

[Guest_2350]

Hi Jack,

 thanks for reminding me to fake it til I make it. That's my motto for my daily 10min meditation. 

I have actually put a daily reminder in my phone to read the realistic thoughts I work on in my CBT. It is so easy to forget and it feels repetitive but I guess you are right. 

Take care, Yggy

[Lori]

Hi yggy,

Negative thoughts are so fustrating at times because it is so hard to ignore them and to keep them out.

When i had negative thoughts similar to that i use to always think to myself "I am determined to prove you all wrong" it was my biggest motivation i had was to keep pushing forward just to prove not only to others but myself that i can do this.

Your definitely not worthless though, far from it. When you have this thought pop into your head you could replace it with "No, I can do this" because you definitely can, you just got to keep trying to look beyond that negative thinking.

Also another thing that helped me with this thought challenging was exercuse and yoga when i was doing something good i felt good mentally and that was when i would put all the positive thinking into mind. 

I am sorry to hear you had a messed up day, I hope it alll gets better for you soon. With the eating when you are wanting to eat but sort of know you shouldn't try and distract yourself with something healthy whether it is going for a walk or something else you enjoy, try go for the healthier options physically and mentally 🙂

You'll get through this, keep you head up and stay strong! 

- Lori 🙂

[Guest_2350]

Dear Scotchfinger,

 thanks for the advise. I do struggle to make statements which allow the normal fluctuations. I am ok, sounds much better! 

I am losing confidence as I am getting worse with my daily tasks, my short term memory, I make mistakes I never used to do and it is making me feel very insecure. But you are right, I am still ok. I am not a bad person. 

Thanks, Yggy 

[Guest_1055]

Dearest yggy

I am pretty sure that the feelings I get are the same as yours. That is you do sometimes feel worthless. From what I have found from reading on here is that it is a very common feeling among us. I think this feeling can stem from a lot of different issues. For me when I feel neglected, ignored, or I think I have no real purpose, unloved and not wanted by anyone. Well then I feel worthless. I also think some of the feelings of worthless and not feeling valuable may come from our childhood. Well I think it was the case for me. And so it becomes ingrained into our very souls.

I am also thinking upon, that we need to base our worth and value on the fact and truth that each one of us is rare, valuable, the there was only one of us created. Like there is only one "yggy" there is absolutely no other person the same as you ever created. Sometimes I see it as this.......... A craftsman a extremely talented one, the very top master of his profession, and only produces and lovingly constructs one of a kind pieces. So no duplicates. These pieces, I see the pieces as furniture.  He pours His very heart into each piece, making each one unique in its own way. Someone obtains this unique and valuable piece. And remember it is rare and valuable, for there is truly only one of them. Well this someone doesn't know or there eyes are not awake to truly see the real value.  And they may not know of their very own value, so this clouds their thinking. So this piece may not be protected from the weather or storms. And may get bumped and scratched even. But even though it has been through all this..... The truth still remains it is still rare and very valuable.

Anyway these are my thoughts yggy, and I don't fully understand it all myself. Even if I have trouble believing that I am valuable and worthwhile the facts still remain. The facts never change. I wish I could help you, but I cannot even help myself in regards to all this. Your not alone in your thoughts either.

I have know probably confused you, as I have myself...... I don't know???

Hug

Shelley xx

[Guest_5218]

Hi Yggy,

Sorry to hear that you had a messed up day at work yesterday.  Confusion, lack of concentration, making mistakes and feeling flat and insecure are all very common reactions during the therapy you are currently undergoing.  But try not to worry too much as it is temporary, and you will eventually get back to normal again. Hopefully even better than what your normal has been in the past!  Nice thought?  Perhaps the over eating is a distraction thing for you?  Is the overeating becoming an issue for you, or can you ride it out short term?

Under no circumstances should you allow yourself to think that you are a bad person.  You're not - you're good and true and a valuable human being with so much to offer.  Just know that everything will get better, you just have to ride out the storm for a while longer.  Did you end up getting any sleep last night?  It can make such a big difference if you can just manage to get some decent sleep.  Everything seems just a little rosier then.

And Shelley Anne - What you have just written is truly beautiful.  And after much thought, and to-ing and fro-ing in my own mind - I agree with you, it is totally true.  You are so clever, and I wish I could think and write down thoughts as you do.  You really do have a talent there, a true gift.  And we are very privileged to share it.

Sherie xx

[Guest_2350]

Hi Lori,

thank you for your post. "Proving everyone wrong" - including myself - seems great, but how do you apply it in your own life? I feel like people are always expecting me to be better. I have always worked like a Swiss watch, precise and always on time and now I feel like I am losing that capability.

Thank you for reminding me to challenge my own thinking. I have actually put a daily reminder in my phone now to read the realistic statements & evidence I worked on during my CBT.

Take care, Yggy x

[Guest_2350]

Dear Shelley,

Thank you for your beautiful post. I am sad that so many of us share this feeling of worthlessness. I have learnt that my feelings come in cycles and I am on the improve for a moment, but it makes me so sad that we can feel the way we feel. I enjoyed reading your story about the beautiful piece that might receive bumps and scratches, but remains unique - perhaps that makes us even more unique - although I do not think there is something more than unique... I guess it is just part of who we are. When my granddad died, I received a paper weight in the form of a hedgehog. I had always loved playing with that paperweight when I was a child. I remember that my dad said to me, you can scrub it all squeaky clean or you can keep it the way it is, with all the memories of frequent use. I never scrubbed it.

Take care Shelley, big hugs, Yggy x