Depression, this is a start

[luke91]

Hi.

lately I have been feeling very depressed, down and basically just crap about all aspects in my life. I have thought about getting help for a long time now but haven't yet been able to get the courage to actually talk to someone so this is my start.

There's a few things in my life that I just can't let go to the point where I can no longer sleep at night and lay in bed for hours on end thinking about my problems..

i don't know what to do!

I let go and drove out the thing I loved most in my life about 6 months ago and can not stop thinking about her every single day, I think about why I did certain things, what I could of changed and dream of it getting it fixed but know that I will never get my relationship back. 

 I have also been made redundant 3months ago and haven't worked since so I've decided to work for myself. But in doing this I lay here in bed thinking I don't have what it takes to do this, I'm not good enough to be successful and I'm just bound to fail.

with all this time off I just think negative thoughts all day and all night and I know I need help but don't know what to do

[DavidS]

Hi Luke,

Working for yourself is not easy, I do and have done done for about 18-20 years and i have suffered with bad depression for at least 2 years i can think of, im in a similar position, im about to drive my wife away because i don't have answers for her, it's hard but i accepted there was a major problem and told her what i thought it was, today we both went to the GP and  told him, now we have a consult to see a psychologist, for both of us to go, so she can here what i'm thinking and hopefully understand better, Your brave to get on here, next step i would recommend seeing your GP

[blondguy]

HI Luke

Welcome to the BB Forums

Paul here, and I too have recently been made redundant...and its not pretty at all. I do understand exactly where you are coming from, and thankyou for for having the courage to post Luke.

That saying about 'An Idle mind is the Devils Playground' is so true...Self Doubting and many negative thoughts.

The good news these negative thoughts are just that...thoughts...I have the same and utilize some coping mechanisms that may or may not work for your situation....but I hope they do

* When you are in bed...your mind will be a pain and 'annoy' you with these thoughts..

* I use 3AW Nightline (Vic) after 10pm...It is gentle radio...no politics...no current affairs....just like here..people..and after a while I just just drift off and end up turning the radio off at 4 or 5am...It may not work for you Luke..but just an idea

* Support Network...Even 1 person to talk to is a Bonus....(I have 2)....You deserve to vent Luke

* Your ex...that is hard...I have done exactly the same...It still haunts me to this day...You are Not Alone...

* Self Doubt about working for yourself...perfectly natural....same here again Luke...Same thoughts..

You and I know 'we' can be successful but our thoughts prevent us...Once again...they are only 'thoughts' not reality

If you can Luke (I realise its easily said..) can you occupy your time in anyway?....Not as in frantic busy...but "Gentle Occupation'....until you can get some clarity?...

I do feel for you Luke....Please know we are here for you and it would be great if you could post back and let us know how you are traveling 🙂

Kind Thoughts

Paul

[white knight]

Hi Luke, welcome

I might if I may, give you some reading. But first-

A wise man told me once when I wanted to return to my ex (as I was grieving for my kids) "never go backwards". Glad I didn't. for if I had, little would have changed and we don't recall the bad times when separated.

Working for yourself- I tried that many times. Lawn mowing round I started up was successful part time, too physically draining full time. Cubby houses same reason. Private investigations - ran my own company for 18 years and was very successful up to 72 hours a week. I suggest you look for part time work for an employer first as a stable income or full time and work on your self employed dreams after hours.

You have made a great step forward reaching our here. Well done. Many don't acknowledge the direction they need to take as you have.

Some articles that I have written might help you. You can google the following-

"Topic: meditation- words of wisdom- it helped me for 25 years- beyondblue"

"Topic: Boredom, the closed door to fun- beyondblue"

"Topic: Who cries over spilt milk- beyondblue"

"Topic: Forgiveness and forgetting, the two F's for love- beyondblue"

"Topic: Inexpensive recovery idea- camping- beyondblue"

The first one is not about religion. He, Maharaji is an amazing man of wise words and he is relaxing to listen to. He has many youtube videos. He began advising others at 9yo, on TV at 13yo and he just makes so much sense. His video (google (Maharaji Sunset Prem Rawat) I must have listened to a few hundred times.

glad you are here Luke. It's a nice place to visit.

Tony WK