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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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white knight Depression- your plan for 2016
  • replies: 7

As I write this, its xmas morning. Last xmas morning I made a vow to myself....that by next xmas morning (today) I would have advanced with my depression and made a few improvements. I would have- 1/ not thought at all in the twelve months...of suici... View more

As I write this, its xmas morning. Last xmas morning I made a vow to myself....that by next xmas morning (today) I would have advanced with my depression and made a few improvements. I would have- 1/ not thought at all in the twelve months...of suicide as a possibility. That that avenue, the idea of it, upon entering my thoughts, I would discount it 2/ That I would seek better stability of my medication. This was achieved by April by regular consultation with my doctor as to adjusting my mood stabilisers and anti depressants. This involved a little tweaking and was easier than I thought. I'm now as stable as I have ever been and likely ever will be. We need to allow for the fact that meds wont ever make us totally stable and we should seek the next best level. 3/ That on a personal level I would accept my wife more for her quirkiness and show more appreciation for her care and consideration. 4/ That I would seek more time aside for my time in a nearby forest. To take along my music I love (the pan flute) and play it. Meditate. 5/ That I would staunchly protect myself and my mental health by not allowing toxic people to enter my life nor allow some to re-enter it after previously being shut out. Torturing myself with troublemakers isn't going to help me. 6/ That I would remain on this forum. To try to connect with those needing my opinion in their struggle to get through life. It's all worked. Merry xmas to you all and be positive for it is the only way to get through it all with the least pain. Tony WK

Hal9000 My logical brain
  • replies: 3

Hi I have come to the logical conclusion that nothing I do is worthwhile or meaningful. I have not come this point lightly. I think though decisions and ideas carefully to make the most informed and well reasoned conclusions that I can. Unfortunately... View more

Hi I have come to the logical conclusion that nothing I do is worthwhile or meaningful. I have not come this point lightly. I think though decisions and ideas carefully to make the most informed and well reasoned conclusions that I can. Unfortunately, emotionally, I am not happy with this conclusion, but I know it to be true. It literally does not matter if I go to work or not. None of my other interests make me happy, anyone else happy, or have any impact on the world at all. My wife and kids are always upset and arguing no matter what I do or don't do. I have no significant friendships where we have an impact on each other's lives. I feel like I could disappear and no one would have the time or interest to care. I have tried a number of hobbies and pass times. The have travelled with my wife and alone. I have changed careers. I have moved locations. I have had an extended break from work to see if I could find answers. Nothing has worked. I literally enjoy nothing and find reasons not to do everything. My nihilistic viewpoint has been reinforced and reconfirmed time and time again. The end point of every line of thought is that there is no point. I don't want to die, but I see no reason to live. My first post to a forum like this, so wasn't sure what to write and what to expect. Why do you get up in the morning and why does it even matter?

DefiantPanda I feel different from other people
  • replies: 4

I feel like I almost always have different points of view on things. I tell myself that other people don't understand where I'm coming from, that they're being overly harsh on me because they have their own issues, or that they're biased or whatever,... View more

I feel like I almost always have different points of view on things. I tell myself that other people don't understand where I'm coming from, that they're being overly harsh on me because they have their own issues, or that they're biased or whatever, but it gets so tiring having a different point of view from everyone else. Just for a while I'd like to agree with others to know what it feels like to belong. But that would be wrong. I shouldn't have to do that. My opinion isn't wrong it's just different.

hcrumb trying to be positive
  • replies: 3

hi all. after just over 12 months, i am no closer to happiness. in a nutshell, i am 47 years old, separated with a 3 yo child, and no regular income. i am in financial difficulty, trying to pay a mortgage and keep a stable home for my son who i have ... View more

hi all. after just over 12 months, i am no closer to happiness. in a nutshell, i am 47 years old, separated with a 3 yo child, and no regular income. i am in financial difficulty, trying to pay a mortgage and keep a stable home for my son who i have every weekend. i can not put closure on my separation, as my wife can give me no reason for leaving except that she was unhappy. i gave her space, as i believe she was suffering from post natal depression ( she also has been diagnosed with bipolar). she started to go out with girlfriends on weekends and i stayed home to take care of my son. we both could not afford to go out, as my son did not sleep through the night until he was 2. she would then sleep all day after late nights. nights out became more regular, and with groups of old ravers. leading into old habits. she went overseas for 2 weeks to a rave festival in belgium whilst i took time off to care for my son. when she came back, i overheard a conversation she had with a friend that she was planning to leave. in the end, she continued to party with groups of people and told me she wished i was more like some of these people, especially one bloke. she confessed to taking drugs consistently and wanting an open relationship. this led me to depression, medication and a regular physcologist visit. i said to her that she needed to make a choice, and she left the next day. i continually question myself, and of late have quizzed her for answers. all i get is that she is finding herself and the error of her ways through a fellowship group. i am lost, overwhelmed and riding the roller coaster of depression. i need closure, but can not get it. the hardest part is that i still love her, but have chosen not to take her back as financial settlement has been finalised and i could not go through this again. i am in a very lonely place even though i have support of a few close friends and family, who i am slowly pulling away from. i know that i can only find the answer to happiness and a more positive outlook, but i am just looking for an outlet. hopefully this is it.

Gypsy77 So lost and lonely
  • replies: 5

Hi I am so lost and lonely very depressed don't even know where to start I have no friends I do nothing but wake up and sit on lounge crying try to watch tv but mind does not let me half the time i feel so miserable worthless I live with my ex partne... View more

Hi I am so lost and lonely very depressed don't even know where to start I have no friends I do nothing but wake up and sit on lounge crying try to watch tv but mind does not let me half the time i feel so miserable worthless I live with my ex partner due to can't live alone and have no where else to go don't get me wrong they are great and I am very lucky to have them to help me as I don't know where ll be without them. The thing is when they leave for work I am crying as I don't wanna be left alone so scared and end up crying most of day as I am right now. I have been sick had a operation which is giving me pain and high lated the anxiety which does not help. I do see a dr but honestly not much has been done to help me. I did try some tablets but they made me sick as most things do. Which is why I am so scared about taking anything. I get so angers at myself for feeling like this. I was once a strong person who could do anything go anywhere now I can't even go outside my gate. The only time I leave the house is to go dr which makes me so uptight and very nervous. I don't drive so I have to ask my ex partner to take me to drs I know it drives them crazy but I don't have any other her help. I just don't no what to do anymore I am at rock bottom and need some help !!

Guest_1055 Crying because others are hurt
  • replies: 37

Hello to any people that read this.... I was wondering if anyone else can relate to what is happening to me. I have been a member on BB for a couple of months. During this time a have read a lot of other people posts, like what is happening to them, ... View more

Hello to any people that read this.... I was wondering if anyone else can relate to what is happening to me. I have been a member on BB for a couple of months. During this time a have read a lot of other people posts, like what is happening to them, and how they feel. And sometimes my heart hurts after I read their words. Often times I cry about the pain they have felt, because I can't stand the thought of anyone else hurting or in pain in any way. They are all strangers to me, yet they are not at the same time. All I want to do is give them hugs. True some of the feelings they have are no stranger to me, because I have felt them. But the person is..... And I do feel a little connection to some people. But mostly this is all I can do, just cry,give hugs and tell little stories. And sometimes I feel useless, because I cannot offer advice or something. I even feel a bit dumb, because everyone else seems to give advice, but I am unable, because I don't know what advice to give. And I wouldn't want to give the wrong advice anyway. I don't seem to operate much from the head, just emotions and feelings. I do care very much about every single person that I read about. Can anyone relate at all? And now all I want to do his give each of you a hug to thankyou for giving your time to me in reading my words. So here is my hug and with all my heart I say thank you. Shelley xx

Skyblue6 Centrelink axed my DSP
  • replies: 6

Hi folks. ive recently been given the news that my disability support pension will be terminated and I have roughly a month to lodge an appeal. i was diagnosed with major depression, agoraphobia, panic attacks and OCD. I was diagnosed back around 200... View more

Hi folks. ive recently been given the news that my disability support pension will be terminated and I have roughly a month to lodge an appeal. i was diagnosed with major depression, agoraphobia, panic attacks and OCD. I was diagnosed back around 2009 and been managing with medication when needed. three years ago I moved from one side of town to another (I'm from Canberra) and the support services on this side of town are horrendous. I've been disconnected from my old support services so I have no recent mental health history other than my local gp's review and prescriptions. ive become highly stressed as of October with new neighbours moving in next door fighting day and night resulting in me losing sleep which thus fuels my anxiety severely.Ive also had threatening notes stating that someone will kill my dogs and my neighbour attempted to assault me on xmas day/Boxing Day when police arrived due to noise disturbance. I rarely have panic attacks and maybe use medication once every six months. Lately I've been taking it weekly with panic attacks beginning to creep up on me. when Centrelink called me to tell me they have terminated my dsp and will be switching me to Newstart I was completely devastated and didn't sleep for 48 hours and didn't leave the house for 4 days. Right now I am requesting my medical history from the government mental health teams that used to work with me and that alone can take a month. I am struggling to re-engage with support services since I'm in a grey area of being functional enough to carry out daily activities like cooking and cleaning. I believe if I didn't have my medication daily and my dogs to help me I wouldn't be able to leave the house at all just like in 2009 and bordering on the suicidal. any help would be greatly appreciated

Durras Tangled Up in the Web of Life
  • replies: 6

I thought I would type this as the link to my HI all so I can explain. I loved and enjoyed my holiday back home in NZ and it was great seeing family and my sister, gave her a big hug and we cried and a positive outcome is she might come here to Austr... View more

I thought I would type this as the link to my HI all so I can explain. I loved and enjoyed my holiday back home in NZ and it was great seeing family and my sister, gave her a big hug and we cried and a positive outcome is she might come here to Australia for a holiday in December. How I am feeling now thou is my head is just lost completely lost. I know I have goals set for this year and maybe it is just that I am impatient to start on them with psychologist appointment and my nursing course but deeper down inside I am feeling really irritable, frustrated, unsure of it all or of anything with my goals maybe it is the thought of failing. I want to succeed, I want to bring in money to support my husband and I as we are looking to buy our own home, I want financial income for my daughter with her needs, I want a job! a career! I want to feel normal! i'm sick of feeling like worthless and useless no one will want to hire me, take me on! I'm sick of not knowing exactly what is wrong with me and sick of taking these medications trying to bring my mind and life in balance. I'm forgetting things too. I don't eat meat not that I'm vegetarian but it clogs my system. Yesterday my husband was telling his dad how I had a sausage roll, I said no that was in NZ and he said no Carol that was only yesterday you had it. While I was away in NZ I was forgetting things my daughter spoke to me about from the day before. Last night I did a online Bipolar test and it showed I have it, I then showed it to my husband and he is like (ignore it you don't know where it is from) just listen to your doctor. Don't know why I did the test but I am thinking maybe the doctor missed something. Well I want to know what is wrong with me, the score wasn't high but it was there. I'm fed up with myself and all of this. I'm getting frustrated easily, snappy, short tempered and easily feeling irritated towards my husband and myself. I don't know how to explain it all properly and clearly everything just feels mixed up and muddled and confusing right now. Well I will go, made myself a list for things todo today so will try and concur that while shame to same on second drink and it is 7.45am. Who to turn to but my Bundy and you all on BB. Durras XO

Night_sky Lost in the abyss
  • replies: 6

I feel so lost that I'm not sure I'll ever feel happiness again. Every single day is filled with tears and a conscious effort to try and act happy, normal and like I fit in this world. I have things to be happy for....beautiful children, a roof over ... View more

I feel so lost that I'm not sure I'll ever feel happiness again. Every single day is filled with tears and a conscious effort to try and act happy, normal and like I fit in this world. I have things to be happy for....beautiful children, a roof over my head, food. Yet my constant thoughts are of hiding away and never facing anyone again. No one understands and I am so fearful that my children will see my constant sadness and be affected by it. I try so incredibly hard to be happy for them but I am so exhausted. There are no answers, no quick fixes to anything. I long for when I'm asleep so that I can escape the hurt for even a moment. I'm not sure I even want a reply. Sometimes just writing things down eases the confusion in my head.

Tinabeck Will I ever have any relief.
  • replies: 3

I have suffered depression since I was a teenager & it took many years to realize that I had was depression, possibly even bipolar. I've been diagnosed with severe depression & am on an extremely high dose of medication. Yes it has helped somewhat bu... View more

I have suffered depression since I was a teenager & it took many years to realize that I had was depression, possibly even bipolar. I've been diagnosed with severe depression & am on an extremely high dose of medication. Yes it has helped somewhat but I still have a lot of depressive episodes. I've tried counseling for many years, read books etc but still suffer with those depressive moments. I have fantastic days where I'might on top of the world but then in the blink of an eye hit rock bottom. My depression has stopped me from fulfilling every goal that I have ever had. It is so debilitating. I have raised 5 children & now they're all grown up I just feel like I have nothing left to do on this earth. I feel utterly alone. My husband & I split nearly 20 years ago and now I just feel completely alone & useless to anybody. I don't believe my depression will ever get any better as I have tried all the positive thinking & it just hasn't worked. I have tried sharing my feelings with my children & some friends but I always come away feeling like none of them really care. I just don't know what to do. I don't feel that I will ever be be free of it. It's like I have this nasty little demonervous sitting on my shoulders weighing me down & stopping me from achieving any of the dreams that I have ever wanted. I just cannot shake it. I just don't know what to do. It's no good being told to just stay positive because it doesn't work. I've tried all that. I honestly feel like I'm a totally useless human being and am just a total waste of space. I'very tried so many things over the years that I just don't believe that anything will help me at all & I will be like this for the rest of my life. I just don't think I could cope with living like that for another 30 or 40 years. It'seems unbearable enough now. Now that all my kids are grown up & have families of their own, I feel completely alone in the world. I have no husband, no children at home & hardly ever get invited anywhere. I'mean so lonely & believe that no one on this earth truly cares enough about me to make sure that I'm ok. I hate the way my life is.

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