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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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SBD 8 hours and 19 minutes
  • replies: 2

Hello everyone I recently started a journal about living with my depression and anxiety. I was a little ashamed of it, and considered deleting it, but a friend of mine who is a psychiatrist suggested sharing it here. I was going to paste the whole po... View more

Hello everyone I recently started a journal about living with my depression and anxiety. I was a little ashamed of it, and considered deleting it, but a friend of mine who is a psychiatrist suggested sharing it here. I was going to paste the whole post here but it's too long and I'm not able to so only the opening is below. I really hope that I can work through my own problems while helping others to understand that they are not alone, so I'm happy for anyone to share this content with friends who might be suffering depression but don't want to be involved in the forum personally. ----Hello, World.I decided to start this blog, because today it took me 8 hours and 19 minutes from the time I woke up to drag myself out of the house and go for a walk. 8 hours. And 19 minutes.Last night, I’d jokingly said to my partner that my intentions today were to go for a run, but who knew how that was going to go! In the morning, the joke became self-mocking reality as I dragged myself out of bed with my feet seemingly encased in invisible concrete blocks.A weak voice flitted through my head stating that I should go for a walk straight away so the rest of my day would get a productivity boost, and maybe I could even go for two today since I had time! Instead I found myself seated in front of my computer, hating myself a little more as every minute passed, and with every ounce of hatred the effort required grew and grew until simply putting on clothes and walking outside seemed like an impossible task.“Life is OK, I guess”I’m sure, if you’re reading this, you’ve had days like this too. And maybe, like me, you don’t feel entitled to even feel this way.I just want to state, candidly, that I have nothing to complain about. From outward appearances, I am a well-educated, reasonably successful, middle-class first-world citizen. I have a full time management-level job, went to a good high school, have a tertiary education, a roof over my head, a nice car, and enough food to get a little bit fat. I have good friends, and family and a partner who love me.To the outside eye, I have nothing much to complain about... and don’t seem to exhibit any symptoms of being depressed. Anxiety is probably a little more obvious... But the fact that I have nothing to complain about just makes me all the more self critical. I don’t deserve to be unhappy.

Mares73 Thoughts on common symptoms of depression
  • replies: 4

Dear friends, I've been around this forum for over 2 yrs now & I've noticed a thought pattern similar to each person experiencing depression. I'm going to generalize so please don't take these symptoms as common to all of us. Nor am I medically train... View more

Dear friends, I've been around this forum for over 2 yrs now & I've noticed a thought pattern similar to each person experiencing depression. I'm going to generalize so please don't take these symptoms as common to all of us. Nor am I medically trained. Just thoughts from me as a forum regular.I've noticed many of us--Have high self expectations &/or perfectionism-often feel like a failure with low self esteem, lack of confidence-highly sensitive & fear criticism-struggle with diagnosis & treatment options whilst feeling "weak" as a person for having this illness-often isolate ourselves as we feel Noone could understand-experience anxiety as a precursor or as part of their depression-fear other people's reactions at a time we are highly vulnerable-blame ourselves for not being able to "get on with it"- set ourselves unrealistic high self expectations about what we "should do" despite our illness requiring us to slow down & let go of some pressures or triggers-feel unable to talk openly to those close to us-feel alone & isolated- have personal stigma ie struggle to accept depression as an illness-fear things will never improve-need a sense of hope & the ability to limit thinking to short term as we often fear & generalize about things that may never happen-can lack insight when very low & experiencing suicidal thoughts. It's not our lives we want to destroy but rather the pain & thoughts we are experiencing-struggle with doing things that would usually be simple tasks-feel the fight/flight response heightened-want to be supported but feel too vulnerable so stay isolated. May fear going out or doing daily tasks-wear a "mask" when around others-generally feel exhausted, lacking hope & battles to get through each day.One other common thread amongst the stories on here is that many if not most people have experienced some forms of a traumatic, upsetting or certain life situation that could be seen as a precursor to depression. I'm sure there's other common symtoms the ones above are just straight from my thoughts without any research etc- thoughts I feel common on the forum. So if you relate to any your not alone.Lve Mares

StefT Depression stir in mid age
  • replies: 2

I became depressed around a month ago. Working night shift and getting as little as 4 hours sleep in 3 days bought my repressed subconscious thoughts from years ago to the surface. The love of my life who left me, left me feeling gutted. It doesn't m... View more

I became depressed around a month ago. Working night shift and getting as little as 4 hours sleep in 3 days bought my repressed subconscious thoughts from years ago to the surface. The love of my life who left me, left me feeling gutted. It doesn't matter that she ticked most of the traits of a sociopath, I adored her, l always will. This coupled with being now years later middle aged and realizing that l have very little and have wasted years. Not addressing asocial behavior years ago has it's cost. The depression is ridable, it's not the first time, I know not to throw in your job. The freight train in the face for what I have wasted is stunning. Youth, time to develop, experience life, really enjoy life and stack bricks financially for comfort in older age.. wasted. It's been an interesting month. All these emotions awakened. Where I was cutting out drinking, I have been drinking heavily just to get to the next day, thats ok, whatever it takes. When I thought I was finally coming out the other side, I wasn't. I started researching how to gas myself in my car. Now I don't know if this roller coaster is slowing or not but I know when it does I have to change things. Falling back into a semi depressed comfort zone is toxic. Depression can be a wake up call, almost a rebirth, thats great except we retain our negative thoughts, our subconscious to haunt our dreams and impede our future. One help I found is the Internet, there are guides for everything including videos, articles for say positive thinking. I've started, it feels like a foreign language but if even a little sinks in thats good. I no longer want to feel like a reactionary victim. I hope someone gets some worth out of my post.

MisterM "you have no friends, nobody loves you"
  • replies: 18

"you have no friends, nobody loves you" How does one not get affected and feel hurt where their own mother says this to them? My mum just said this to me after an argument.

"you have no friends, nobody loves you" How does one not get affected and feel hurt where their own mother says this to them? My mum just said this to me after an argument.

Applee Is it depression?
  • replies: 5

I'm lost. I found myself googling the phrase "what to do when you don't know what to do" and arrived on a forum post here. Nothing seems to be great at present and I am finding myself spending every waking moment thinking about well everything. I can... View more

I'm lost. I found myself googling the phrase "what to do when you don't know what to do" and arrived on a forum post here. Nothing seems to be great at present and I am finding myself spending every waking moment thinking about well everything. I can't seem to get my mind to stop thinking. It's an odd feeling, thinking about what to have for lunch and end up asking myself why I haven't gone anywhere in life. Wondering to myself what's holding me back. Feeling worthless and ashamed. I have had bouts of depression in the past that have usually been triggered by an event of some kind. This feels different I'm not sad, I'm not angry... I just don't know. My partner often asks me what's wrong, why are you in such a bad mood and that is my answer " I don't know". I can't describe how I feel. Writing this is the closest I've come to being able to pen my emotions. Nothing in my life is worth being depressed over. I live a very privileged life. TrAvel a lot, do very little work, enjoy all of the finer things yet here I am. i don't know what I'm looking for here. I just thought I'd would try to say how I am feeling. kind regards M

Hopefullseeking Here I go again
  • replies: 19

I am so tired of the roller coaster that is depression and I am sure I am not alone in this. I have been working off and on with a psychiatrist for 20+ and at the begining of the year I agreed to work with a psychologist as well. My shrink and i felt... View more

I am so tired of the roller coaster that is depression and I am sure I am not alone in this. I have been working off and on with a psychiatrist for 20+ and at the begining of the year I agreed to work with a psychologist as well. My shrink and i felt I was stuck and no matter what we did nothing would shift it. So I have been seeing this psychologist every fortnight and touching base with my shrink every other fortinght. We all felt I was making progress with the different apporach that the psychologist has taken. I spent 10 days last month interstate staying with a cousin and had a terrific time came back about a week ago and have sunk to new lows. Why what went wrong. My shrink said people often are down after a holiday but I am more than down, back to old thought patterns, feel teary and lost. Dissappointed that I have gone back down agian. Yes I have a lot on my plate but that doesn't explain it. I had a lot on my plate before when I was feeling better. Does it ever end. The psychologist says the depression will be with me for life and I just have to learn to manage it. That doesn't make me feel very hopefull for a better frame of mind either.

janazantar A farewell note to a friend and the person I tried to be
  • replies: 3

I wrote a goodbye to a friend today knowing I'd never give it to them.I couldn't alter the actions of those last days or explain the thought patterns that seemed valid at the time.That cruelly caused me to react with emotion.I’m grateful I was able t... View more

I wrote a goodbye to a friend today knowing I'd never give it to them.I couldn't alter the actions of those last days or explain the thought patterns that seemed valid at the time.That cruelly caused me to react with emotion.I’m grateful I was able to keep my emotions contained for the entire last day in their presence, even when faced with the smiles of their child. A glimmer of hope that in such innocence, surely there was truth.But I managed to push that away and resist the urge to hold their beautiful child lest my dark shadow block their light. I don’t blame them for the distance that now exists between us.I let the illusion go freely that we were friends or that I was important in their life.I was not strong enough to contain my emotions or reactions at the time and wishing won’t allow me to erase those days.They will define me.I will be remembered for them.I have learnt the lesson not to voice my inner thoughts or outwardly display my inner emotion other than on this forum.I have found it particularly difficult this time around and am deeply disappointed in myself and I now know I may not make it back to the person I was trying to be before.I feel the pull of my old ways of thinking and choose to bury that side of myself as deeply as possible and return to detachment.I survived for a long time that way, having to fight for each day.Depression is always near if not actively stripping from me any joy I could know. So for now I’ll slip back on my mask and play the part that allows those around me to be at ease, ignorant of my daily torment.I will avoid shows of kindness that break down my walls and allow tears to flow; an echo of the hope that I can no longerentertain.I don’t want to feel remorse, guilt, confused or hurt.I will take every word, expression or actionat face value ensuring my interactions are limited to polite indifference.Expecting no more I will be able to smile if I pass you in a hallway, or come across you in the street.If I hear your name I will think on thisfarewell until all feeling remains unfelt.I’ve spent these long and lonely years trying to protect myself from hurt knowing of the demons I keep inside.I have felt too much sadness these past weeks.I have cried too many tears and been frozen in fear from knowing no other way to endure, to be better, to find peace. So I also say goodbye to those parts of me that are too broken to repair, but mercifully they sink deeper each day and will soon be out of my reach. beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

Voice_Mail What to do?
  • replies: 6

I'm supposed to be looking after my elderly grandmother for a week from this Thursday, but my depression is very bad at the moment and I feel like I can't even look after myself, let alone have someone else relying on me. Getting out of bed, having a... View more

I'm supposed to be looking after my elderly grandmother for a week from this Thursday, but my depression is very bad at the moment and I feel like I can't even look after myself, let alone have someone else relying on me. Getting out of bed, having a shower or getting dressed are hard enough at the moment. I don't know what I should do or how I'm going to cope. I've already had two panic attacks just thinking about it coming up.

No_one Can't find decent help
  • replies: 7

Ok so my life's a mess my nan died in February more like a mother to me than anything I have female problems on top and keep getting knock backs for a gono appointment I have no money so help is hard to find and waiting lists are over a year I'm worr... View more

Ok so my life's a mess my nan died in February more like a mother to me than anything I have female problems on top and keep getting knock backs for a gono appointment I have no money so help is hard to find and waiting lists are over a year I'm worried if I wait a yr for gono I'll already be gone, I suffer anxiety untreated for most of my life but now I think my grief has sparked it into overdrive it's now September I've lost the whole yr and don't really care I'm getting aggressive impatient and I feel I need help, doctor just refers me around and I get nothing no help at all in the end what do poor people do for help ? I'm losing my mind I just want to function again, please don't say have you got friends or fam that support you . No I don't I've been alone for many years it was just me and nan now it's just me and I don't feel I belong anywhere I'm 31 live in Melb am overweight lonely depressed feeling insane does loneliness affect people like that I'm unsure. P.s I've done the mental health plan and am waiting for an appointment with some fresh outta uni student who will think I'm nuts cause I've never spoken too or had a friend since kinder. And over the years I've seen the health care system fail so many who seek help where to go what to do is the question I spose, sorry if it's a jumble first time here

zamir Depressed all my known life
  • replies: 3

Hi. I am 35 yrs old. Immigrant from Pakistan. since i was 10 years old i was bullied in school, by classmates, teachers and neighbours. As growing up in pakistan, people over do not know even the word "Bully". but bullying was not the only thing that... View more

Hi. I am 35 yrs old. Immigrant from Pakistan. since i was 10 years old i was bullied in school, by classmates, teachers and neighbours. As growing up in pakistan, people over do not know even the word "Bully". but bullying was not the only thing that contributed to my depression, i guess i inherited it, but bullying enhanced my already depressed nature. I never knew that depression is an illness, till i arrived to australia 10 years ago. Now knowing that Depression is an illness, made it a bit easy to face it. But in Australia the thing that refrained me of seeking psychologist or psychiatrist advice was the stigma attached to depression. I do not seek it, because anywhere you apply for job you come across with this question in the applying form, "Are you suffering from depression?". Now an immigrant from a third world country with a family to support you will never take this risk of seeking the advice and then not been able to work to support your family. As depressed person the last thing you would want, is your family suffer because of you. So i take it all on me. never sought any professional advice, and living with it. Thanks