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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Vita16 Lost...what next??
  • replies: 5

So, what next? I have been on medication for 4 months and feel better for it aside from the side-effects. I have seen my psychologist every fortnight as well which has been challenging, uncomfortable, rewarding, safe, and even a couple of funny momen... View more

So, what next? I have been on medication for 4 months and feel better for it aside from the side-effects. I have seen my psychologist every fortnight as well which has been challenging, uncomfortable, rewarding, safe, and even a couple of funny moments thrown as well. Thing is I don't feel as down or sad as I used to, but don't feel happy either - am not sure what that means. Therapy seems to be going well, but I'm left wondering what next? She has progressed me to mindfulness - ie being the moment be it work, family, friends or by myself > am trying, but it is hard when I'm used to going at life at a million miles an hour. Have been compliant with my self-care plan - exercise, rest, sleep, etc. Work has been ok, reduced hours to 45-50/week, but am finding motivation problematic. Have never been one to procrastinate, but seem quite good at it now. Breaking things down, lists etc are getting me through. I know that things will improve with time; I get it is ok not to be ok; I get that that if we're a magic solution to depression someone would have provided it by now. But when I was undiagnosed, miserable, and at risk at least I had that...now I just feel like a rudderless ship. Just re-reading this post I'm rambling a lot - sorry, not very readable, but maybe a reflection of where I am. Thanks for reading Vita

Pearse3 Not too sure what I'm going through. Need a bit of help
  • replies: 6

Hi, for about a year now at least once a week I wake up and just feel like everything is a effort and I get really frustrated with everything even if it is just someone walking past me. Sometimes it gets so bad that I flip out on my partner and start... View more

Hi, for about a year now at least once a week I wake up and just feel like everything is a effort and I get really frustrated with everything even if it is just someone walking past me. Sometimes it gets so bad that I flip out on my partner and start getting physically aggressive and then after the fight I would go to our room and ball by eyes out for at least half an hour. Have no idea what is happening to me to make me do this, need to understand what it could be.

Nickname_9656A407-7ADC-46 chronic depression and feeling paralyzed
  • replies: 2

I've had depression as far back as I can remember. It gets a bit better at times and then really bad. At the moment it's ok just paralyzing. I can't seem to do anything, stuck in the same position day after day. I try to better my life but the only t... View more

I've had depression as far back as I can remember. It gets a bit better at times and then really bad. At the moment it's ok just paralyzing. I can't seem to do anything, stuck in the same position day after day. I try to better my life but the only thing I seem to be able to do at the moment is walk which gives some relief but then I have to go home and can't go for another walk until the next day. I try to do productive stuff at home but it seems pointless. Too hard. I have four kids aged 10 to 5 months and my partner is unemployed and at home 24/7. I think he's depressed too but won't admit it. I need to learn to drive, need to bring in money but it all seems like such a heavy weight I end up just pottering around the house until I collapse into bed at night waiting for my walk the next day so I can feel a bit better again. It's too hard to see a psychologist at the moment and when I think about going back on antidepressants I consider the side effects like persistent tiredness I get when on them and little relief with the down mood. I've tried a number of them and only had one with any good effect but still has the negative side effects. What are my other options? Is there a way I can pull up out of this without medication and psychotherapy? I'm so tired of feeling like everything is too hard and too much.

kanga_brumby Not shoor where to go to from here
  • replies: 4

I have depression for years. I have tried to talk to my family and friends. Now most of my family ignore me , all my friends have moved and not given me there new addresses. One who really understood because she was going through similar stuff. Both ... View more

I have depression for years. I have tried to talk to my family and friends. Now most of my family ignore me , all my friends have moved and not given me there new addresses. One who really understood because she was going through similar stuff. Both of us would be there for each other. Unfortunately passed away. I found out her story and supported her and she me. Now I don't have anyone when I need to vent to vent off steam. I don't wish to lay it on my children.

Wild_ I thought I was through the worst of it, but I feel like I am about to slip backwards...
  • replies: 7

Hi, I'm new here. I have depression. I feel that there is not one person in my life that understands how I feel, and why I can't just "get over it." So here I am - now surrounded by you, who understands. So first of all, thanks. Quick background. My ... View more

Hi, I'm new here. I have depression. I feel that there is not one person in my life that understands how I feel, and why I can't just "get over it." So here I am - now surrounded by you, who understands. So first of all, thanks. Quick background. My depression became significantly worse about 8-10 months ago. I was at a workplace with a toxic culture where I was the new person, and the hierarchy said that I should be told I wasn't good enough for years before I got a permanent job (I was on very short term contracts). I know its not personal, its just the industry, but I couldn't keep taking the rejections and the negativity, but I definitely couldn't make it known to those at work, so I slid. I slid into a depression where I hated going to work. I was constantly told that I should be happy because, after all, I had the dream job. My boyfriend at the time kept saying he understood, but in reality he had no idea. If I was having a bad day, he would say that I'm inconsiderate because I'm not thinking about how he feels when I'm being difficult. I loved him, so of course, I told myself that it was my fault. I told myself that he was really supportive, because at times he did try and make me feel better, but in the long run, it wasn't good for me at all. I have two close friends. One is extremely kind and although she hasn't had depression so doesn't fully understand, she is always willing to listen . The other one is very judgemental about mental illness (I watched how she treated another friend with severe depression), so I don't really talk to her about this. I do have one other friend who suffers from anxiety who I am very grateful for. But these friendships have their limits. Fast forward. I am feeling better than 4 months ago, but I know I'm not there yet. The short-term contract work-I am now without a contract (no guarantees when the next contract will be), living in a home with a controlling sister (who does not understand depression, and unfortunately not willing to try), and a mum who has had mental health issues for 20+ years (who understands, however imagine us if we both have really bad days on the same day). I can't leave because I don't have a stable income. I am terrified that too much time home alone will allow me to get in my own head. To spiral backwards. To slip back into day-in, day-out, curled up on the couch feeling completely worthless. There are things to do, but I'm finding it hard to motivate myself.

Bluererer Go it alone or go along? Family is offering 'solutions' not support.
  • replies: 2

Hi all! This is a very condensed version of what has happened but I am in my 50's and had to leave work after being bullied. I got a small payout but after 18+ months not working, I have used up every bit of savings and am now living day to day finan... View more

Hi all! This is a very condensed version of what has happened but I am in my 50's and had to leave work after being bullied. I got a small payout but after 18+ months not working, I have used up every bit of savings and am now living day to day financially. I have tried working manual jobs because I don't feel like I could cope working in the industry I was in, but my body just cant handle it for long periods of time. I have set up a small business but the income is very inconsistent. One close family member has discommunicated me (is that a word?) after I went through a paranoid/delusional period which was more painful than I ever imagined and has given my family and friends their version of what my 'problem' is. So without consultation or discussing my needs with me or even my diagnosis, they arranged to bring me 'home' and offered to buy me a ticket. But this would mean giving up my very cheap accommodation, and my dog, the few friends I have and I would have no means of financial support. And now I am feeling a bit pressured because every time I talk to them I am asked if I miss home, I get a barrage of family pics and I get the impression they think I'm just mismanaging my life rather than coping with PTSD and severe depression (which is what the professionals say), not to mention my physical limitations which are also being minimised. I have worked so hard to stay out of hospital and have joined a support group, take my dog and therefore myself for walks, and generally am trying my hardest to get better. So I feel that this attitude is keeping me down rather than picking me up. Nobody asks how I am doing, or what will help, and conversations are cut short if I ever mention my mental health and steered back to general safe subjects. On the other hand, I have reconnected with a dear friend who is incredibly supportive. I'm now wondering if it is my depression that is making me think this way, or would it be better to avoid my family for a while?

Housegirl How do you shake it off?
  • replies: 5

Hi, I have a great life; a wonderful husband, kids, job I love, house I love, pets. From the outside I could look like I have it all. I'm so exhausted from battling the negative emotions and feelings of not being liked/accepted. I've done so much cou... View more

Hi, I have a great life; a wonderful husband, kids, job I love, house I love, pets. From the outside I could look like I have it all. I'm so exhausted from battling the negative emotions and feelings of not being liked/accepted. I've done so much counselling and self work through my life I know all the things I should be saying to myself and deep down I know how loved I am by my family. Why can't I stop these feelings of worthlessness?? it was pounded in to me by my mother - I'm worthless, I have a terrible personality, it's a wonder I have any friends... I cannot overcome these fundamental beliefs. I can make friends fine but can't seem to hold them. I think I'm too needy, overshare, clingy? Then every time I get dropped by a friend all the things my mother told me become reinforced. I beat myself up for ages about what I did wrong, how it was my fault. I wish I could just shake it off. i am currently feeling so worthless, disliked and ganged up on. How do you get all the mantras/work you've done to actually change your patterns? I'm feeling so hopeless.

SonjaKS7 music and some anxious and/or depressive thoughts? how to cope? any suggestions?
  • replies: 13

Anyone influenced by their music, or do they think their emotions, dictate their music? I'm feeling like sometimes my music dictates my mood, and other times my mood dictates what I want to hear. I sometimes listen to sad music, and it puts me in a s... View more

Anyone influenced by their music, or do they think their emotions, dictate their music? I'm feeling like sometimes my music dictates my mood, and other times my mood dictates what I want to hear. I sometimes listen to sad music, and it puts me in a space, UN-attached from my emotions, but I feel the mood and context of the music subjectively, other times, I hear the tonality, and it changes my mood/and, or perception of my 'self' mood, then there are times, I clearly perceive the difference between which is dictating which. and those days are really hard for me to get through, because I feel happy, I know things are good, and I just have a niggle that pushes me one way or another, and I then somehow, WHOLEHEARTEDLY fall into that grade in my mentality, and sometimes that can really put me into a week/month long mood of said period. Example; start Jan. Mediocrity, ensuing, personal AND family, AND best friend issues lead to mediocre end Jan, birthday call to dad. 1 wk before partners b'day, few drinks, next day kids, school, nothing SPECIAL, quick bite out with partner, time, between1-2:30, feeling loss of perception of self, something weird, loss of visual focus, to the point of grasping partners arm and making him stop to let me get my grounding. He was a total champ on HIS birthday for ME, because some kind of stress just GRIPPED ME, thankgod he drove home. then for a week or 2 after that, just didn't feel like myself, AT ALL, and felt like I was seeing everything from the outside perspective, and not understanding certain choices of my own making. then things STARTED getting better, and some skin condition on my hands errupted, now still falling a little behind in planning an 8 yr old's birthday, for fear of not having given her a fun-filled child-of own age- ridden party YET. the school mothers are mostly what scares me the most about that, I fear by April, I will be too burnt out for my own birthday to do anything other than sit in a corner rocking, and my partner love him, will do whatever I want, I know, but for now my freak-out is trying to help my child. HOW do parents cope with these situations towards their child? how do you handle the stress and then explain it to a 5 and 8 yr old, or not, but put it into their perspective, without awakening something that may haunt them? without making them worry or think they'll genetically inherit nuances? so does this pre-dispose them by nurture or nature? They more prone genetically or thought-influenced?

Skuz89 I don't know anymore
  • replies: 3

Hi my name is Brett i have just recently diagnosed with server depression, I don't know what really to say but my wife said to do something about and I'm trying my hardest. Don't want to lose her or my daugther. I've been on medication for two days a... View more

Hi my name is Brett i have just recently diagnosed with server depression, I don't know what really to say but my wife said to do something about and I'm trying my hardest. Don't want to lose her or my daugther. I've been on medication for two days and my thoughts are just relying on the medication, but I don't know what else to do. I don't know if anyone knows how to help but everyone is trying to. Just feel like crying all the time just feel like I'm a failure I'm not a good dad husband work, feel like I'm a failure as a person, I get angry with everything I do, feel like putting a few holes in the wall then I brake down and cry just want to b left alone just hate feeling like this, and it's to do with my past as well, and how I am financially with debt feels like I let my family down everyday with everything I say or do, I don't know what to say or do without thinking it's going to cause a problem or a fight or something that I'll hate myself more. That's y gave up football last year and gave up gym I just don't believe anymore. And I'm scared that I'm going to do the same to my family and don't want to do that my girls. But I can't stop the way I'm thinking and feel and how I get so angry with everything I do. Feels like I'm walking around on eggs shells waiting for someone to have a go at me every minute. If someone says I've done a good job I still think I could've done better and hate myself for it. I had a panic attack which I never had before signing happy birthday to a follow colleague had to walk out felt like I couldn't breath. I get angry during the night while I sleep my jaw hurts coz I clinch my teeth my wife says I get all tense and scared of waking me, I wake up angry one day or wake up upset another day. dont know what else to do Sorry

Ophelia_22 Desperate to talk to someone one
  • replies: 8

Hi I joined this site when I had nowhere to turn and desperately needed just to talk to someone. I honestly thought this was a support site where desperate people like myself could connect in desperate times but all I received was an email telling me... View more

Hi I joined this site when I had nowhere to turn and desperately needed just to talk to someone. I honestly thought this was a support site where desperate people like myself could connect in desperate times but all I received was an email telling me that I would be contacted soon....that contact from this site never came....not for me! Even this site finds me invisible.

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