Where do I start? Basically, I've been engaged now for 1 year to my
Partner.The wedding is this December and i'm absolutely scared. Some
days whilst at work I will be happy and grateful that I have such a
loving partner and then the next day, part me...
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Where do I start? Basically, I've been engaged now for 1 year to my
Partner.The wedding is this December and i'm absolutely scared. Some
days whilst at work I will be happy and grateful that I have such a
loving partner and then the next day, part me will say "get out!! leave
her! If you marry her, you'll be a slave for the rest of your
life!"We've been together for 5 years. I love her soo much but she does
have pretty damaging traits. She is a control freak. It comes from her
high anxiety. But still her bossiness is very hard for me to deal with.
She loves to plan each and every thing that happens whilst I love to go
with the flow. I feel like I can't even have one weekend that isn't
scheduled.We're currently going through all the wedding preparations,
its so heartbreaking because I'm not sure if I can go through with it.My
dream has always been to backpack asia for 1 year on my own. Then return
to Australia and live in a hippy commune. Part of me wants to go away
from this world that I live in, Sydney. People seem so stressed and
unhappy. Im one of them. Im sick of this life of working my butt off so
I can buy another fancy table that I hate, but because my
soon-to-be-wife "needs one". I hate pretending to be this educated yuppy
that she wants me to be. I'm not, i'm a laid back, chilled guy. I hate
materialism. Part of me says stay with her. We've had some amazing times
over the past 5 years.I left my great and stable job of 3 years 1 year
ago. When I left that job i thought i'd progress to the next challenge.
No..no such job ever came, I've been doing odd jobs ever since. I wonder
is it my partner that i really want to leave, or am I just really
unhappy with my life in general?Why did I propose to her in the first
place if I didn't want her to be wife?I've been seeing a shrink
lately,but she won't give me an answer. I need to know, do I stay with
her and risk being a slave husband? or do I leave her into the big bad
world again? Ive my partner told her that I'm having doubts a few times
since my doubts arose (3 months ago). She was broken,which was so so
hard for me to see. She said last week, she needs an answer now as I
can't keep waiting for an answer but I don't have one! My dad says go
with your gut feeling but I'm not thinking straight at the moment.My gut
feeling changes daily.The big bad world for me is not a good place at
all. I hate loneliness. I've suffered from depression and anxiety now
for roughly 8 years.Please help!