Being Around Others When You Are Depressed ....

[rascal]

Why is that when we are depressed all we want to do is be alone. And why is it that the first bit of advice or suggestion from either a friend , family member or a professional; Is to be in company of others .... ? For example ; My sister rings and says "how are you ?" and i say "Im really depressed, i just want to be alone." and she says. "why don't you come over here"

What does one do ? Do you force yourself to be around others, because apparently that is the best thing for someone suffering with depression...

I am very confused and all i want to do is hide in my room.

[HA1]

Hi Rascal!

I know what you mean.  Being alone is, I guess, a form of escape.  We want to escape the prying eyes, the knowing looks, and questions that we really don't want to address. 

But everyone is a bit different. I know psychs and other ‘experts’ always tell you to socialize, meet people.  Yep, try telling that to someone with depression + social anxiety!! 

Despite all the good advice, I certainly avoid social gatherings, still.  When I do go and ‘mix’ , I make sure it is small intimate groups of people that I already feel reasonably comfortable with.    I don’t believe in ‘forcing’ yourself to do anything that you feel deeply uncomfortable with.  When you start having a few good days (and you will), then try and meet up with someone for a coffee or a chat.  Go out for dinner with a friend or two.  Small baby steps.  It seems to work for me.  Having said that, I don’t do it for the sake of it.  

So Rascal, don’t feel frustrated about wishing to be alone, for some it is just a consequence of our illness, but do try and socialize whenever you feel up to it.  

Take care

K

[Zan]

Hirascal ---

"Why is that when we are depressed all we want to do is be alone." -- As an avid observer of nature that is simply the natural response. Sick/injured animals always seek out a dark safe place in order to heal. It is only those who "believe" in interfering with the "natural" order that evolution has inbuilt within all of creation, in their rush to have the "sick/injured" person back to work and provided tax and productivity for the government -- oh, and making themselves very comfortably wealthy on the way -- that the "natural" approach is shunned by so many professionals and Big-Pharma drug peddlers.

"Why is it that the first bit of advice or suggestion from either a friend , family member or a professional; Is to be in company of others .... ?" -- I'd say it's because they actually love you and care for you and basically it's all they know what to do. My Mom always used to say (never to myself though)  "It'll all be right -- just sit down and I'll put the kettle on." -- whenever someone felt down or was falling apart because of some traumatic event. (I learnt very early on how to hide my true feelings as I didn't want to be hurt again). 

Your last question: " What does one do ? Do you force yourself to be around others?" --- Wow -- that's an individual and personal decision that everyone has to decide for them self. There is no right or wrong answer. And often the answer depends on just how bad one is feeling. Learning to say "NO" is often much harder than learning to say "YES". And if you feel like saying "NO" but find that for some reason you just can't, practice saying it out loud, over and over and over -- because if you keep saying "YES" when in fact you really mean "NO" you wont get any benefit from whatever you forced yourself to do. In fact you will more than likely stew on your inability and end up thinking you were manipulated against your will. (Been there, done that waaaaaayyyyy too many times -- NO MORE).

Hope that helps you.