Hi everyone, I'm looking for some clarification or explanation for my
behaviour/feelings. I'm not sure whether I would be classified depressed
and/or anxious. I am a uni student in my last year of study currently on
placement. (Perhaps ironically) My...
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Hi everyone, I'm looking for some clarification or explanation for my
behaviour/feelings. I'm not sure whether I would be classified depressed
and/or anxious. I am a uni student in my last year of study currently on
placement. (Perhaps ironically) My degree is in welfare and I am really
interested in exploring mental health and disability avenues for
employment. My mother had depression when I was around 10 and recovered,
although not without the help of antidepressants which she used for
several years. My situation involves me being very stressed because of a
lack of time, motivation and energy. Placement is very fast-paced, and
very challenging. I am doing a job that I can sometimes feel overwhelmed
by for a number of reasons. 1, the work is challenging and I am still
learning. 2, all the things I do have fast deadlines, which can be
stressful, especially because those deadlines are my supervisor's
deadlines, not mine. That gives me a feeling of guilt when I am not
working as fast as I need to be. 3, the job requires me to wake up early
(5:15am, 2 days a week) and coupled with my paid job (bartending day and
night shifts, 3-4 times per week) I can be very tired. This combination
of factors can lead me to be anxious some mornings, with one instance
leading me to call in sick one day to placement. I have also got
feelings of being flat, miserable, irritable, sad, exhaustion and
episodes of crying without any provocation. I have had instances where I
would tear up randomly and I would have to fight off a fit of crying. I
have had instances where I've just thought everything is just too hard.
Please let me stress that I don't mean this in regard to life itself. I
do not have suicidal thoughts or thoughts of harming myself or others. I
have called in sick to my paid work more than once because I just
couldn't see myself turning up to work and forcing myself to smile for
the patrons and other staff. I have told my partner about these feelings
as we live together and I know it's not healthy to try to keep feelings
like this to myself. However, I don't think he completely understands
the gravity of what I'm saying, or maybe he doesn't know what to do. The
bottom line is I haven't seen a professional yet as I'm not sure if I
would be classed as anxious and/or depressed and I'm not too keen to
speak to a stranger about something so personal. Also, I don't want to
speak to my family as I don't want them to worry (yet), especially given
the family history.