Hello,Well after years of knowing that I suffer on and off from
depression (self diagnosed), it has gotten to the stage where it has
consumed me and I feel like it is ruining my life. Something needs to
change and acknowledging it I guess is the firs...
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Hello,Well after years of knowing that I suffer on and off from
depression (self diagnosed), it has gotten to the stage where it has
consumed me and I feel like it is ruining my life. Something needs to
change and acknowledging it I guess is the first step. I am sure I don't
need to tell people how I am feeling, the sadness, the hopelessness, the
feeling of worthlessness, the anger and negative thoughts. I haven't
been able to truly admit to even my partner, let alone anyone else that
I am spiraling out of control into this blackness. I'm scared....scared
to admit it, scared of his people's reaction, scared I can't come back
from this.There are the added factors of having returned to Australia
after years abroad, then moving cities for love, of not being able to
find work and the endless battle with a stubborn 10kg adding to my poor
self esteem and confidence.I don't want to go on medication. I need to
find help, I need to find me again. I'm scared this is who I am and it's
not the person I want to be but don't know how to change it.Until
recently I had never thought about suicide but lately those thoughts pop
in every now and again...life just seems too hard right now and nothing
seems to make me happy. I don't laugh, I don't feel good, I don't enjoy
anything.Is seeing a psychologist or therapist or counselor the first
step? Can I really overcome this or is this the way my life will always
be? I want to be a mother but I couldn't imagine having children while I
am like this.Sorry, I'm babbling and not making any sense. beyondblue's
clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on
issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general
supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have
concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service
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