Time to face facts

[AD23]

Hello,

Well after years of knowing that I suffer on and off from depression (self diagnosed), it has gotten to the stage where it has consumed me and I feel like it is ruining my life. Something needs to change and acknowledging it I guess is the first step. I am sure I don't need to tell people how I am feeling, the sadness, the hopelessness, the feeling of worthlessness, the anger and negative thoughts. I haven't been able to truly admit to even my partner, let alone anyone else that I am spiraling out of control into this blackness. I'm scared....scared to admit it, scared of his people's reaction, scared I can't come back from this.

There are the added factors of having returned to Australia after years abroad, then moving cities for love, of not being able to find work and the endless battle with a stubborn 10kg adding to my poor self esteem and confidence.

I don't want to go on medication. I need to find help, I need to find me again. I'm scared this is who I am and it's not the person I want to be but don't know how to change it.

Until recently I had never thought about suicide but lately those thoughts pop in every now and again...life just seems too hard right now and nothing seems to make me happy. I don't laugh, I don't feel good, I don't enjoy anything.

Is seeing a psychologist or therapist or counselor the first step? Can I really overcome this or is this the way my life will always be? I want to be a mother but I couldn't imagine having children while I am like this.

Sorry, I'm babbling and not making any sense.

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[white knight]

Hi AD, welcome

The first step is your GP. Tell him/her your story then he/she will advise accordingly.

Brave of you to try to counter your ills by yourself, but less likely to achieve in the long run.

Give your mind a rest and a present. Make friends with medication.

Tony WK

[geoff]

dear AD, thank you for deciding to join this site, and yes your comment is a sad one, so please have some trust in us, because you're in need of gaining some support and definitely help, because you're beginning to think of suicide.

You are now in the early phase of depression, and how long this has been going on isn't the issue, so what needs to happen is that you contact your doctor.

Doctors these days have so many people who suffer from depression along with their other concerns, so it's nothing new for a person to come into his/her office and for you to explain that you are finding life to be tough.

No one can overcome their own depression, they may believe that they can, but there are many issues that are too deep for them to even consider to overcome, so what happens is they just try and solve a few problems, but they never can really, so that's why you need professional help.

Your doctor will start the ball rolling, which also means that they will try and put you on some antidepressants (AD), which you say that you're not keen on taking, but talk about this with your doctor, and can also offer you a medical plan where you are entitled to visit a psych for 10 free visits.

Please let us know how you are going, because it's important for both of us. Geoff.