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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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kerriel Friends seen to turn away..
  • replies: 6

I'm in the middle of a major depression which no amount or type of medication seems to be lifting. I met with my psychiatrist today, and he suggested I need to socialise more and stop isolating myself so much. I would agree with him but it feels as t... View more

I'm in the middle of a major depression which no amount or type of medication seems to be lifting. I met with my psychiatrist today, and he suggested I need to socialise more and stop isolating myself so much. I would agree with him but it feels as though everyone has turned their backs on me. I was hospitalised last year when the episode started and it feels since this became public knowledge I have lost pretty much any social contact I had. I took myself off Facebook and it honestly feels like I no longer exist. I'm at a loss as to what I need to do. I feel as though I've been dumped in the 'too hard' basket by both family and friends.

Mangof What if.......
  • replies: 4

What if 8 mths ago my day started as usual and ended as usual? But it didn't like a spiral appearing from nowhere spinning so fast that my breath is lost my chest is full of air and I can't breath endless deep darkness strangles what was once a succe... View more

What if 8 mths ago my day started as usual and ended as usual? But it didn't like a spiral appearing from nowhere spinning so fast that my breath is lost my chest is full of air and I can't breath endless deep darkness strangles what was once a successful loved wife and mother of 3 . Unbelievable in my own mind of what has happened no words just emptiness tears and breathlessness the feeling of being useless,ugly,unworthy of my good life.trying to fight the feelings by being positive and hating myself at the same time this is Crazy! Looking in a window seeing the scene play out then realising that person crying and so sad is in fact YOU.children crying because mums yelling What's wrong with me! My husband crying seeing me shatter into small pieces.What if.......this did not happen would time just have reallocated another day,place,time for it all to unfold?how do I cope with the changes of feeling ok to feeling so intensely sad?making irrational decisions because of anxiety attacks that overwhelm me. Trying to explain why I did things that in the real world are just easy to say no to? Lost sense of completeness,Empty days of loneliness due to not being able to leave the house.will this become easier and what do I need to do?This black dog is real and nasty. beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

haggis_ Fog and fumble
  • replies: 5

Hi everyone, I don't often post on internet forums, always being more a post trawler. After reading through peoples stories about depression and anxiety on beyond blue and other support websites, I felt like it really validated some of the stuff I'd ... View more

Hi everyone, I don't often post on internet forums, always being more a post trawler. After reading through peoples stories about depression and anxiety on beyond blue and other support websites, I felt like it really validated some of the stuff I'd been feeling. It's actually very comforting to know, in a way, you're not that special. I finally felt I should add my own feelings. I was diagnosed with depression about 6 months ago. I have been seeing a psychologist for most of that time and have recently started on anti-depressants. I have supportive friends and family who know what I'm going through. So I have supportive networks. But onto something I've been experiencing and wanted to share. I feel I often can't think straight even in easy life situations. In the morning when I get ready for work I find it hard to follow a basic routine. For instance - making porridge. Involving grabbing a bowl, spoon, oats, milk and microwaving to make some porridge - easy right? But I often find myself hesitating in gathering all the different items. Like moments of complete blankness. It doesn't have any flow or ease. Everything is very slow. This feeling of fumbling through things extends to settings outside the kitchen. Luckily for me, my work is very structured and routine (involving a lot of data entry, processes and computer work). Even still, I find myself making little absent minded mistakes and then upon reflection not knowing why I made that decision in the first place. It's like I'm not even completely there. And in workplace discussions I find my reasoning skills and even my ability to articulate myself properly is extremely hard. I find myself fumbling through the words. And social situations are the hardest thing of all. It's rare for me to be able to engage people beyond the very routine conversations about the weekend or the weather. I find myself trying to think of things to say or ask. Sometimes on certain topics I can chat a bit about them but it's rarely a free flowing engaging two-way conversation. I frequently forget important pieces of information that people tell me like partners names, places they've been, interests they have. With Humour, innuendo & sarcasm I often find myself getting very confused by and often have to fake laughter at moments I think it's 'right' to laugh just to get along with people. I'm wondering if anyone else can relate to this?

Shell Too hard
  • replies: 10

I feel like I am not supposed to be happy even though I want to be for some reason life feels like its against me and always has been. Im not having good thoughts about myself, Its been a bad year Im just not sure I can do it anymore. beyondblue's cl... View more

I feel like I am not supposed to be happy even though I want to be for some reason life feels like its against me and always has been. Im not having good thoughts about myself, Its been a bad year Im just not sure I can do it anymore. beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}

Horizon Facing up to it
  • replies: 2

Hello all!its been a year since I took up some big changes to deal with avoiding that black chasm. The first six months of this year were great. I acknowledged a situation at work was not working for me and began a new job as an educator in a kinder ... View more

Hello all!its been a year since I took up some big changes to deal with avoiding that black chasm. The first six months of this year were great. I acknowledged a situation at work was not working for me and began a new job as an educator in a kinder program. I still found myself doubting my actions everyday and often ran through a checklist of questions, "am I doing enough? Am I any good at my job? Would they tell me if I'm not doing things right or that I should be doing more?" I'd remind myself that of course my colleagues would and I'm just being anxious and the thoughts wee just thoughts. This was a huge step forward for me as a year back these kind of thoughts weren't questions but statements that I choose to use to describe every single facet of my life past, present and future. I guess I thought I was better. Beyond that point where I couldn't face it anymore. And I'd plan how I could easily just disappear and how I'd do it. These scenarios became a constant daydream. They're back. I got moved, unwillingly, into another position where the educating team do not work well together. I'm supposed to help them unify. I don't think I'm emotionally strong enough to cope with it. I don't want to talk to any of the very few friends I have about it . I don't want to be the 'Debbie downer'. But it's all started again. The questions have become statements again. I'm starting to think that everyone thinks I'm an idiot. I feel like a fraud. I should be able to control this. How do you stay strong when it all starts to slide again?beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

Lookingforpeace Rollercoaster
  • replies: 1

I feel like I'm on a Rollercoaster and just want to get off. Some days I wake up and feel bright, optimistic and happy. Other days I wake up feeling neutral, which is fine by me. Then there are the days, like today, I am just so down, my heart is in ... View more

I feel like I'm on a Rollercoaster and just want to get off. Some days I wake up and feel bright, optimistic and happy. Other days I wake up feeling neutral, which is fine by me. Then there are the days, like today, I am just so down, my heart is in my throat and I am panicked. Why? Why do I wake up feeling this way sometimes? How do I get off this rollercoaster? Is depression/anxiety something I will just have to live with for the rest of my life??

hannalogy One Year
  • replies: 11

Tomorrow is one year since I decided to end my life. Obviously that didn't happen... I feel this weird mixture of really sad but also really thankful and... and something. I don't really know how to feel. I want to talk about it. I have hope now, I b... View more

Tomorrow is one year since I decided to end my life. Obviously that didn't happen... I feel this weird mixture of really sad but also really thankful and... and something. I don't really know how to feel. I want to talk about it. I have hope now, I believe things are heading in a direction that is good. I feel thankful for that. I feel thankful for those friends who were with me when I wanted to end it. I feel embarrassed when I think of talking to my fiancee about it.. Like I could never explain it well enough. I feel like I'm not supposed to or allowed to talk about it with those close to me - what would I be trying to gain from talking to them about it anyway? Attention? I just want to not feel alone in it.. I want to say to someone 'Hey, this happened. I actually feel really sad about it today. This is what happened.. This is what happened next. Now I'm here.' and to feel heard and loved in that.Sorry.. uhh.. How have other people gotten through these kinds of days? Was it a time of reflection? How did you feel?beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

Daniel44 Hello and help.
  • replies: 6

Hello my names Daniel. I will try to keep my story as short as possible. I have been suffering depression/anxiety for around 10 years. When I was about 19 (5years ago) I finally went and got some help. I started on anti depressants and seeing a phyco... View more

Hello my names Daniel. I will try to keep my story as short as possible. I have been suffering depression/anxiety for around 10 years. When I was about 19 (5years ago) I finally went and got some help. I started on anti depressants and seeing a phycologist. When I turned 21 I don't know how but I had enough confidence in myself to leave my job as a plumber in Melbourne and leave all my friends behind and head interstate. I first worked at a couple of cattle stations in Queensland but only lasted a few months there. I somehow ended up with a job at a remote resort in central Australia as a plumber. I ended up becoming the maintenance supervisor. I loved my job there and my life while I worked there. After two and a half years I left with my partner and headed to a job in kakadu. This was about a year ago and when things started to head downhill. I started to feel sad all the time, frustrated, angry and anxious. I tried new medication but no luck. In January this year I landed my dream job. Maintenance supervisor at a resort in the Kimberly. I lasted six weeks. I was so anxious for no reason what so ever. I went back to Melbourne (currently still here). I'm doing plumbing again, and absolutely hate it, my friends that I had here are no longer my friends and I don't really feel like I want to be with my partner any more. Im trying to save some money so that I can head back to the NT in the coming months but I don't know what to do for work as I hate plumbing. I don't know why but my depression and anxiety feels so much worse now then it has ever been. I cry a lot, especially at work. I'm anxious about every little thing. I can't think strait and I don't know what to do. I have no friends here at all but I am seeing a phycologist again which I enjoy. I just want to be normal and have a little bit of confidence.

Xavsyd80 No one seems to understand
  • replies: 6

I've known about my depression for years and have suffered on and off since I was 16ish. I am in a relationship and have friends but now I feel no one understands how I feel and they are against me and I am pushing people away. Constantly in my head ... View more

I've known about my depression for years and have suffered on and off since I was 16ish. I am in a relationship and have friends but now I feel no one understands how I feel and they are against me and I am pushing people away. Constantly in my head about what people are doing what they are saying and how that affects me. My girlfriend although I've spoken to her about this I fear deep down she doesn't understand and will eventually have enough and get rid. I can't seem to keep a job and the longer my unemployment runs the more anxiety I feel about being in an office environment and waking up for work every morning and being a fully functioning member of society. I'm seeing a therapist for the last few months twice a month but I don't feel it's making me feel better at all and I'm worried that it's a waste of time and that there has to be another solution out there to help me feel better. Does this sound familiar to anyone? I know the writing is scatty but I hope it makes sense.

Nickname_D995B0EF-FF95-45 Why do I feel this way
  • replies: 5

i don't know why.... I have a good job (can be very stressful most of the time), a beautiful wife and 3 gorgeous kids. I can't wait to get home to them every day but when I do, I feel terrible. I get moody, upset and feel I snap all the time. It's li... View more

i don't know why.... I have a good job (can be very stressful most of the time), a beautiful wife and 3 gorgeous kids. I can't wait to get home to them every day but when I do, I feel terrible. I get moody, upset and feel I snap all the time. It's like they don't understand me but yet I don't understand me. When I'm at work, I'm too busy to feel this way but seem to want to lock myself away when I get home to my beautiful family. I feel ungrateful that the main things or people who should make me happy, can't. Should I see someone about it it just toughen up and realise that I'm being silly and have no right to be unhappy considering who lucky I am to have such a great family and life.

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