so confused and angry

[MrsCam]

so I am back at home now after being in perth clinic for 15 days. I figured out pretty early on that I was better off just telling the nurses & my doctor that I agreed with everything the doctor said and to just hide from everyone what i was really thinking and feeling. my husband did ask one of the nurses early in my stay about getting a second opinion but she said it would be next to impossible to do while i was a patient admitted by my current psych and she insisted to him that it wasnt necessary and that I just needed to change my personality problem which is the opinion of the psych. anyhow after this nurse told me "its easy just decide to change" and said "stop being negative" when she found me crying in my room and my doctor laughed about me being  grumpy thats when I decided i was done with being honest with anyone there.

now i am back home and my husband wants me to tell my gp about all of this and ask him for a referral for another psych but I dont know if I can do all that. I just feel like i dont want to open up to anyone else as i dont like how it makes me feel when Im invalidated.

i dont know what to do 

[geoff]

dear Mrs. Cam,how can I say in a nice way what I would think of how you were treated in this clinic, frsutrated  and totally disappointed to be handle in this manner.

Firstly it would be unwish to tell a patient in their care to 'change your personality and stop being so negnative', we know what repercussions could have followed by them casting you aside in a disrespectful way, because what they are doing is fighting fire with fire, and is absolutely inappropriate.

I know how hard it is for you but you aren't going to get any more help from this current psych, because it would seem as though they would be fighting against what you either believe or how your approach to a problem would be, so my opinion is that you also seek out another psychologist.

I do realise that it is a massive effort to do this, and that you can't be bothered, so is there someway you can print off your first comments or those that can describe how you feel and what has been happening.

It sort of reminds me of someone trying to lose weight, but they love the cream buns and have to have one everyday, well they are losing a battle, so the same principle applies to you Mrs. Cam or the analogue is the same, that you won't get any better by staying with a psych who just wants you to change your personality, it's up to them to find a way on how you can do it.

Please consider what I have said and please get back to us. L Geoff. x

[Cass54]

What is all this crap they r saying 2 you sweetheart "personality problem"  "its easy just decide 2 change"  "stop being negative" I would of done the same thing cryed in my room, that doctor laughing about u being grumpy I would of been more than grumpy that's 4 sure.....If I was u my dear get a new Doctor NOW. These people don't known nothing & don't give a dam they should b reported or something......do they known how you were feeling or how people feel with unbelieveable  disease it is the worst thing in the world & there isn't anyone or thing that can help.....I have done a lot of searching the Internet on stories people have posted none of them r getting better......as far as I am concered there isn't any programes that help or even if there r any around as I have had 3  psych & all hopeless....You can't do things because your mind wont let u & the pills u r given have more side affect than ever & they r worse than the disease as at the moment I am being weened off & I am finding it tough at the moment .....Mrs Cam I am real sorry.....don't give up get more help a new Doctor & u have to tell him everything ok....I am negative ever day when if u or all others know me....I was the most Positive & hard worker....I worked 13 day a fortnight fix as 1 thing & now....I don't work & so out of fit & have put a heap of weight on I have nothing but I am still trying 2 get better some how I just live 1 day at a time with no help.....Be good hope u get the help u need & want but don't ever give up ok Kathy

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[Neil_1]

Dear Mrs C

I won’t say too much about the awful treatment you received while in Perth – but goodness sakes, they should be reported for their horrible and totally unprofessional manner in which they treated you.  And on top of that, it wasn’t like you just drove from a suburb away to get there.

Along the lines of what Geoff suggested, it might be a good thing, to go back some of your older posts – and do a copy and paste of them into a word document;  then you have a kind of rough draft of what you’re and have been experiencing.  Then you can start to change it around a bit;  into possibly dot point form, so it’s a bit easier to read;  and you can add things that are a bit newer;   perhaps delete off things that may not be so relevant anymore.  At the end, you may well have document in dot point format that you could present to a new psyche, so you don’t have to open up again – as it’s all there in your document and from that you could work through each point.  Just a thought.

I do hope to hear back from you as well.

Kind regards

Neil

[MrsCam]

even the questionare they give to fill out on discharge re how you felt you were treated is a joke. they say you can be anonymous if you wish and not put your name on it and you should be honest but you have to hand it back to the nurse with the discharge paperwork so of course even if you dont put your name they still know who said what.

have asked my husband to email the clinic with my complaints as i dont think they would take it seriously coming from me.

[MrsCam]

Going to see my gp on thursday. Am going to tell him everything but at this point I dont want to see another psych. I just feel like its too much for me at the moment. Im just going to suck it up and get through the holidays which we have my parents coming to stay then I will see how im going after new year.I just feel that is my only real option for now.

[white knight]

Hi MrsCam

Same feelings as the others here- treatment incompetence.

Anyway if I could suggest that that doesnt mean you are drowning a little in negativity. Most people with mental illness are negative in my opinion simply due to the huge challenges for them to face and lack of mental strength..

But to have it rammed down your throat is not good.

So, do what the others advised. And dont be afraid to address any notion that your are too negative too often by reading many articles on the topic. You can become more positive but it takes commitment over time.  Use search to read these-

Depression- a ship on the high seas

Being positive-what's the secret?

Meltdown- back to basics

Meditation, words of wisdom- helped me for 25 years

Hope they help. Plenty of reading material. Regards

Take care   Tony WK

[MrsCam]

So my husband emailed the clinic this morning re his concerns that the psych had laughed and dismissed how low I was feeling. A lady from there called him back and said I could sack him as my doctor if I want but that means I wont be able to do the dbt program, which is the only part of anything anyone there said that I felt I could realte to, unless I get another psych to book me in for it. I didnt hear the conversation but from whay my hubby tells me she had no concerns at all that I had been laughed at and her only response to his concern about  him being told that it was too hard to get a secong opinion while I was an inpatient was "yeh thats how its done". Apparently the discharge survey is anonymous cos even tho I had to hand it over with the rest of my paperwork it would have later been seperated. Still doesnt seem real anonymous to me...

so now I am back where I started cept I now have a fed up husband to add to the mix.

[Neil_1]

Hi Mrs C

That is so screwed!!

I hope your husband is fed up with regard to the clinic and their responses (and not you?   I think it'd be the clinic, cause he seems like a really great guy - just from previous posts you've written).

The feedback that has been received has been atrocious from the clinic people.  I know it would be a process and possibly stressful one;   but I'd (if I was hubby) be taking this up at the next level.  This clinic or perhaps the workers in there, should be reported to some kind of Mental Health facility or board - their appalling treatment of you is a great example to take forward.

I also, like you, believe that their anonymous discharge survey is very flakey as well.  That would be another thing I'd be raising with reporting them to appropriate higher authorities.

And yes, as you say, in the meantime, you're kinda back now at square one.

Oh oh, and not to mention that you had to travel a helluva distance to get to this clinic, which would have cost you a fair amount as well.

Just thoughts from me, but if there's an opportunity, it'd be great, because I'll bet your not the only one that is being treated so poorly.

Kind regards

Neil

[geoff]

dear Mrs. Cam, well Neil has taken the words out of mouth, and his last sentence just exemplifies the whole situation, however it maybe easier for us to say this, rather than being stuck right in the middle of it ourselves, considering how you and your husband are currently feeling.

Some of these institutions seem to handle people with depression as second case people, there is protocol, but this should be carried out in a diplomatic way. L Geoff. x