Triggers

[Leleina]

I don't know where to begin... I just feel low. I met someone in social media, we spent an amount of time chatting and then it stopped. He wasn't well too. Triggering along with other triggers like my parents being here and my mother has started one of her moods again, nagging incessantly, and then hurting me with her words. I'm doing my best to let go and let it slide. But when she was emotionally abusing me in the presence of my youngest, it broke me. I could see this is what intergenerational trauma looks like. My father, he doesn't say much now but what can he say? He's traumatised me enough. I'm trying to heal to a better place but these triggers keep coming back and it feels so overwhelming having thus whirlwind of emotions yet nothing seems real. If you know what I mean... but I'm hurting and this hurt is real.

Pained x

[That Other Guy]

Are you living at home? Can you get out? This doesn't sound ideal...

So you have a child and you met someone online? A potential love interest? Online is hard, it's so impersonal. I've met people who told me they felt a real connection, then ghosted me. All you can do is accept they have their own life, you don't have the whole story, but you know you have value and you have to move on. Easier said than done, but we have to work at it, we have no other choice....

I would suggest if you have a harmful relationship with your parents, you try to create distance. I am the same, I talk to my dad (mum is dead) but at arms length.

[Leleina]

Thank you for your kind reply. I've kept them at distance but now travel restrictions have relaxed I haven't seen them for 2 years so they came to visit and stay with us. My husband has been a buffer but it takes all my energy to walk away. Regarding the online connection, I had covid and then had insomnia and this person is like on another continent! It's insane... sigh. Yeah the ghosting... I can't help blaming myself at first if it is me? Maybe I pushed some boundaries... I'm getting over it! But the ending part... another familiar fight and flight response... I know it! So painful. I have a husband and 3 kids. I did sort of mentioned it to my husband but he said other people need space to heal too. My shrink said I'm not responsible for his mental health. Still... the feelings are overwhelming... thanks for listening.