Trapped and Helpless

[Chunty]

Hi Everybody, Mood feels real low today. I feel so helpless and trapped. My internet went down and I was left almost alone all day while my carer spent most of the day trying to get it going. He was so involved with it I felt negleted. Becauseof my illness I am totally dependent on him. I was stuck in a recliner, in alot of pain, worse when I moved, cold , hungry and so alone escept with my darling cat Merryweather. I had to ring eventually and ask him for help.My last dose of painkillers was at 4 am and by 3 pm I was in agony. As well as coping with other issues this was the last straw.I guess I am lucky I can vent to you lovely people. Thank you.All the best. Chunty

[blondguy]

Hi Chunty

Its good to speak to you again! Im sorry that you have been in pain....and hungry! Have you had some assistance?

my kind thoughts

Paul

[white knight]

Have you tried a laptop puzzle? Jigsaw, crosswords, suduko, ?

Distraction can help.

Thanks for posting

TonyWK

[Chunty]

Hello White Knight. Thank you for some of your idas of Distractions. I fully agree they do work. My concentration with puzzels is very poor. I use music, my favourite being Elvis Presley, especially his gospel music, Pink Floyd.I think David Gilmour is one of the best guitarist, sometimes even Mozart. Being a Catholic, I get a lot of calmnes and peace watching religious movies, especially Jesus of Nazareth, which was made in 1977. Also some series from 7 Plus, I pray and think of Jesus alot. And guess what? My darling cat Merryweather is sure one big distraction. I do believe they say that cats are very therapeutic. In that respect Im ok as long as the pain and breathing is taken care of with medication. It is hrdcwhen the Depression sneaks in.Thank you and have a nice day. Are you ok?😸🙂

[Chunty]

Hi Paul, Great to hear from you. Yes I did eventally got assistance.How have you been keeping? Are you Ok? How do you like the cold weather?I find it helps me breathe easier. Please do keep in touch, that is if you want to. Take care.Chunty

[white knight]

Hi Chunty

You are a breath of fresh air here.

I'm an atheist but I do admire Elvis. My fav song is "I'll remember you" sung in Hawaii and Kentucky rain.

I'd like you to believe, fully, that while in the depressive cycle, that it is only temporary and that it will drift away like the tide.

I actually see positives in everything...even depression. While in depression I can write my poetry that is my therapy. I've got around 250 some of which is on the thread - "poetry corner post your poems here". Put that in the search bar at the top and read away.

I hope I can help more

TonyWK

[Chunty]

Hi Tony, Thank you for your encouraging reply. In reality and circumstances there is no way out for me. I am litterilly trapped and helpless. I have lost all controll and independence. Yes I use Distractions, yes it helps, but it doesnt take away the feelings of hoplessness worthlesness and guilt feelings of still being alive and a burden to society. It also doesnt take away the negative energys by my carer. Yes I can also sense positive, peaceful and caring energies by other people eg. my priest. To be honest Tony, I have had enough.A person can only take so much. Dont worry Tony Im not going to kill myself, as being Catholic, it is considered a sin in God,s eyes. All I can do is pray and put my life in God,s hands and let Jesus sort out my circumstances. I think clinical depression has set in as I have gone off food, which used to be my favourite hobby.Do you know of any techniques to protect me from negative energies? You sound a pretty cool dood, which is great. There should be more like you.All the best White Knight and take care. Chunty🙂🍒🦄🐱

[Sophie_M]

Hi Chunty,

Thank you so much for reaching out here this afternoon. We are so sorry to hear that you are struggling so much at the moment. We hope that you have found some comfort in these forums - it looks like you've made some valuable connections here. It sounds like you are feeling quite distressed at the moment, so we are going to get in touch with you privately today to check in.

We hope you know that there is always support available to you. Our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) and the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467) are available 24/7.

Please keep checking back in with us whenever you feel up to it.

[Chunty]

Hi Dear People.Am trying to get over another rejection.Being a BPD, one of my greatest fears is rejection and abandonment.I have physical and mental issues to deal with, and it is so hard. I'm alone and totally dependent on my carer because of my physical disability .I find when I'm in a crisis state, I become totally impulsive, irrational and act out.I knew this Catholic Priest from Port Lincoln since early 2000.We kept in touch and he was kind and supportive.I admit it was my fault. I was texting him in the middle of the night as I was upset by my carer, who kept on arguing and provoking me over some minor issue which was really no big deal which nearly led me to call. the police. He then backed off. I had trouble sleeping. I was reaching out to Father. He ignored my text.The next morning, I was upset, crying and texting him numerous times, begging him, apologizing and pleading him not to abandon me, but he completely ignored me. When I was settled, I emailed him and apologized for my impulsive behavior. I asked him to forgive me, and that it won't happen again. I also told him I'm seeing a Psychiatrist to sort out my Depression. He still ignored me. I emailed him a couple of days later, but got no where.I give up.I then emailed Father in Adelaide and apologized for my irrational behavior. He is a lovely traditional Catholic Priest who comes and give me Holy Communion once a week.I expected a rejection, but instead he was so understanding of my circumstances and came to visit me the next 2days. I was overjoyed..Can anyone give some suggestions about the Priest from Port Lincoln.Im trying to forget it, but I'm very hurt and feel like dirt. I have rambled on..I'm amazed, he is a Priest and knows about forgiveness. It is surprising isn't it?. Would love to hear from you Dear Souls. Chunty🥺

[white knight]

Hi Chunty

What you are describing as part of you impulsivity is inability to let go, move on.

I'm bipolar with dysthymia. But my estranged mother I've suspected has had BPD all her life. Therefore I do have some fragments of BPD behaviour. I have that insight.

In 1975 in the defence force I was involved in a fight. I hurt a fellow airmen. I apologized many times. They weren't accepted. Yes rejection. 40 years later I searched his name on Facebook and there he was. I sent him another apology.

He didn't reply. Everyone I've told about this is amazed I still hung onto that event. Why? Why can't I throw that rock in the river?

I have some answers- guilt, caring, confused, can't tolerate rejection.

But that's me and there is now a determination for me to accept myself. E.g. to offer so many apologies must mean that I care. Just like you texting your priest...you cared and you needed help. It's not all bad nor deplorable behaviour. It might be annoying and even inappropriate but not criminal.

Google

Beyondblue topic guilt the tormentor

Repost anytime, I'm here daily

TonyWK