Thought my closest friend understood, she doesn't.

[Hopefullseeking]

I was having a Messenger conversation with my closest friend, she has been a great support and thought she Got me, until last night.

The last ccouple of weeks have been better, l know shock, and l thought I had turned that corner. This friends sister even commented on how good I looked.

Last couple of days haven't been good, have felt

really low again, fortunately I know the trigger but even knowing hadn't helped.

I told my friend I was feeling low again

, and how l thought l had finally turned the corner then she said 'depends on how much you want to turn that corner' then she immediately said Be strong. I think she realized she had said the wrong thing but I still felt hurt.

Do you have to have depression

to understand what someone else is going through? Feel like I can't talk to her anymore. I am not going to lose her friendship but l feel different towards her now. Am l being to sensitive?

Has this happened to any

one else? What did you do? I feel mire weird than ever now.

Anne

[pipsy]

Dear Hopefullseeking.  Oh dear, just when you thought you HAD 'turned a corner', down you go again.  To make matters worse your friend (trying to 'buck' you up) said the wrong thing.  No, you're not being sensitive, depression is when you simply can't get out of that 'black hole' not matter how much you try.  Your friend tried to get you to dig yourself out, but if she has never 'been there', there's no way she's going to know how you start 'digging'.  I wouldn't 'write' her off, perhaps next time you speak to her, explain how low you were really feeling.  Telling someone to 'snap out of it', is like waving a red rag in front of a bull.  It makes the person who has the depression feel worse instead of better.  Have you got anyone else to talk to, a relative, close family friend.  Are you seeing a counsellor, are you on medication?  It might be an idea to get along to your Dr to arrange for counselling, or medication.  You're obviously feeling very alone, you need help now.  What's triggered your depression, anything in particular or just everything.  If possible, can you get someone (other than your friend) to go with you to a Dr.  Once you can get to a Dr, try writing down (f possible) how you feel.  The more he/she knows, the more help you will get.  If you're really feeling sad, lonely, please, please contact BB on our 24/7 phone line.  There are trained counsellors ready and willing to listen.  Keep contacting BB, remember, you are not alone as long as you keep posting.

Hope this helps.  I'm concerned about your loneliness. 

[Graceeeeee]

Hello Dear Anne!

I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through a tough time, I'm also sorry to hear that you feel like when you finally had a friend who understood, now she doesn't anymore. I understand where you are coming from, when I felt depressed my friends would support me but they didn't really understand what I was going through, and I think it could be the same thing for your friend. She loves and supports you but she doesn't know how to help you out, she doesn't know the words she thought were kind would be hurtful to you, so my suggestion is you could try explaining to her your true feelings, like when she says those kind of things it makes you feel misunderstood and hurt, and if she doesn't understand right away, don't get frustrated, give her time, I think it's good that she tries to understand, and she was there for you too 🙂 I think she eventually will get it, even if she doesn't, just remember that she does love you and support you, and you can always come on BB forums to talk to us who know what you are going through.

I hope this had made you feel better, I'm here to say that you are not alone, because I have gone through what you are going through, and I understand all the feelings you have. I think it'd be a good idea to go see a professional too 🙂 Hope you have a good day! Sending you all of my love, support, and big big hugs ❤️

With Love,

Grace xxx

[Guest_1695]

Hi Anne,

You have already been given some good advice here and comforting words.

Unfortunately we don't always know what to say to each other to make people feel better.

I know there have been times when I have unintentionally hurt others by the things I have said. I certainly have not meant to be nasty in any way. We will never know how another person really feels and what they are going through.

Depression is a hard illness to understand. I have suffered for many years and still don't understand it myself. How can a person be feeling like they have everything to live for one day and then the very next day it is like they are in a deep canyon? How can you adequately describe that to anyone?

Like another poster mentioned, people here on this site understand depression and how it can make a person feel. We can encourage and support each other.

Cheers from Topsy

[Hopefullseeking]

Thanks Pipsy and Grace,

Your comments have helped

me.

l am seeing a psychiatrist and ppsychologist and am medicated. I have seen my psychiatrist last month to talk about Christmas, another long continuing saga. I don't see my psychologist until the 16 th.

l  have had depression all my life, towards the end of 2014, my psychiatrist felt l needed more help than she was giving me so early last I started intensive counselling with the psychologist as well as seeing my psychiatrist, was seeing one of them each week, this year due to finances it will be fortnightly. The psychologist has been great and has helped a lot but they both agree due to past traumas and ongoing difficulties I will continue to have depression.

Now I have to learn to live with it and that l battle with

both the idea of having it and learning to live with it. I thought, maybe naively, one day l would conquer it.

I work hard to live my day to the fullest but never seem to get there.

l do get lonely Pipsy but am use to it.

I am partly venting here and partly after support.

Does aanyone else feeling at times counselling just doesn't seem enough.

Thanks guys

[Graceeeeee]

Hello Anne!

You are such a strong person, you get lonely at times but you just keep battling, and of course there are time that counselling is just not enough too, I see my high school counsellor for counselling, but sometimes it gets hard, I understand, but just like you I try not to give up 🙂

On this road you will find lots of obstacles and there will be hard times, but there will be points where you will just realise what a strong, beautiful person you've become and you'll know the hard times are all worth it.

People here will always be here for you whenever you feel lonely, even if just to chat about random thoughts on your mind, and I am glad to hear that our words have helped you 🙂

I'm heading out now and I will come back to check on you later today or tomorrow, in the meantime please take care of yourself and love yourself, because we love you 🙂

Sending you lots and lots of hugs and my love ❤️

With Love,

Grace xx

[Hopefullseeking]

Sorry Topsy your post hadn't appeared when l answered the other two.

What you said about being up one minute and down the next is me to a tee, and yes how do you explain that to people who don't understand

.. I don't get it either.

Sorry my phone does silly things to my posts.

If we don't get it how can our friends

..l will continue to do as l have been, take one day at a time

[Hopefullseeking]

Hi Graceeee,

Thanks everyone you have been so kind to me, haven't had a lot of that in my life.

Others have said l am strong but I don't feel it and yes Grace I won't give up.

I have physical health problems but I keep as busy as my body will allow, it helps.

I have another friend who has depression, medication works for her but she doesn't understand how things work for her and not me.

I know the depression is clouding my thinking but I can't help that sorry.

Hopefully things get better soon.

Hugs to everyone fir your kindness

Anne

[pipsy]

Hi Hopefullseeking.  What you said about what works for one, doesn't work for someone else.  That's so true.  It's like everything in life.  Battling on becomes an everyday battle, you wonder why you battle.  I guess because we're all unique, different things work for different people.  There are also times when we seem to go round in circles with counselling too.  We are 100% here for you to vent anytime you like.  I find I 'lose' myself in books, music.  Works for me, but not necessarily for you.  You might find relaxation techniques work for you, that wouldn't work for me because I'm not you.  Once you find something that 'works' for you, stick with it.  It could take a while, in the meantime, we're here as I said.

Sending you hugz and xxxxx.  And a smile to help brighten your day.

[Graceeeeee]

Hello again lovely Anne!

I'm sorry to hear that your friend doesn't know how it works for you. I see you apologising for have depression, and I'm here to tell you there's no need to be. I understand the feeling of guilt, like everything is your fault that comes with this condition, but if you think about it, what's to blame yourself for? It's just your brain, it's science, it's chemistry, nothing you should ever be sorry for Anne 🙂 I know it's purely just mother nature, the environment and the way science works. And it is all that you need, to just never give up, and that's what you're doing, so just go a little easier on yourself my dear Anne 🙂

At the meantime I'm glad to hear that you feel our love for you, it's just what we are here for, and again I hope this has helped you too, even if to just make you feel a little less lonely ❤️

All of my love and big tight hugs to you 😛 Stay strong!

With Love,

Grace xx