Stuck

[Lanie01]

I'm new to this but I seem to be struggling. I have suffered with depression and also chronic pain and illness. I can't seem to move at the moment. Its like I'm in quick sand and I cannot move my thoughts or anything. I see a psychologist but sometimes I feel like I have to start over at every appointment. Right now I have been really struggling to sleep, all things that have kept me moving stopped and now I'm at a loss. I don't have family that are around so I'm alone most of the time. Thoughts creep in and I go to a dark place, I'm still trying to work but its hard some days. I feel useless all the time, I feel worthless what else am I supposed to do?
I can't see a way out right now

[Sophie_M]

Hi Lanie01,

Welcome to our wonderful, welcoming online forums community. It is so brave of you to have reached out to us to give us an insight into what you are going through. We want you to know you've come to an understanding place. Users here give and receive support to one another based on their own experiences with mental healht, many of which will be similar to your.

While the support offered here is often quick, it is important to remember it is not immediate. If you did want to talk to someone straigtaway about what you're going through, the mental health professionals at our support service are available 24/7 on 1300 22 4636.

Once again, welcome to the forums. Please let us know how you're getting on whenever you feel up to it.

[yggdrasil]

Thank you so much for sharing you experiences on here. I'm really sorry to hear you're struggling with mobility. That was the symptom that made me feel compelled to talk to my doctor about this stuff when depression first took over my life back in 2010. Mobility isn't always first on people's minds when they think about depression.

I got to the point where I couldn't get out of bed at all. I wanted to, but felt like I physically couldn't. I felt so weak. I used to say "my body feels like lead", which I think might be the same feeling as the quicksand for you. I've largely gotten past this problem, but there are still times when things are really bad and it's hard work to get out of bed, stay out, and keep moving.

Do your physical illnesses prevent you from getting out of bed and moving around a bit? What I do to get myself moving is start with my toes and feet and jiggle them around a bit until my body feels capable of doing that much at least. Then I try to drag just one leg off the bed. Then the other. This can take ages sometimes. Eventually both legs are hanging off the bed and the weight of them makes it easier to pull myself up and sit on the edge of the bed. Sometimes I'll be stuck here for 10-30 minutes, head in hands not able to get any further. Eventually I'll be able to stand up though and walk around. If this is getting up in the morning, I'll then go make breakfast.

When things are really, really bad I might then collapse back to bed after breakfast, and be stuck there lying down for a lot of the day. I find it's the lying down that contributes to depressed feelings - if I sit up in bed it isn't as bad. When things improve I'll then try to spend the day at a desk or walking around. As I get through the lowest point of the depression I then try to get my regular excercise routines working again. I do a lot of running and cycling etc. I'm not sure if this is an option for you given your physical illnesses and pain, but I think whatever it is you're able to build towards, just try to build slowly, slowly towards it.

It can take a long time to build back up from the point you're at - it took me months the first time it happened to me, but I got past it. My view is take it as slowly as you need, but try to keep building forward each day, pushing your body forward to whatever level your physical health/pain allows. Wishing you the best in recovery

[CyP]

Hi Lanie01 ,

Welcome to forum. Thank for sharing your experience and feelings with us here. I'm sorry to hear that you are going through a rough time at the moment . The combination of unhelpful thought patterns and sleep disruptions sounds very exhausting and taxing to the mind and body.
I see that you are reaching out here today shows your awareness and will to break this cycle. There is a lot of power in recognising the difficult moments.

What might be helpful, is to perhaps find very small moments or energy to do something small and incremental, just to break the circuit momentarily? A stretch, a few deep breaths, a walk around the block, a minute of meditation, or treat yourself a new type of food... etc. They can be a bit of distraction, and also a way to redirect your energy into something else .
My psychologist has asked me to keep a list of thing I've learned or heard , a quote from a book, sthg I saw on TV, anything ... and just keep a running sheet of dot points in a notebook or phone at the end of day, or whenever I have a moment... it works quite well for me personally.

I hope your next counselling session goes well. The talking aloud can sometimes help clear the mind and label emotional thoughts.

Warmly
CP