Where to from here?

[Doolhof]

Hi Everyone,

I'm sure lots of you have had those moments where you don't feel comfortable with where you are at, you want positive changes, but you don't always know how to accomplish the changes you desire.

Me, I feel like I have been existing but not really living for a while now. Maybe, deep inside I was working on building strength and gaining more resilience.

Maybe sometimes we need to just sit quietly, allow our minds and bodies time to chill out and recover before we can move on.

I feel it is time for me to move on. I am not sure exactly what that looks like and maybe I don't need to know all the details. Having a plan as a guide certainly helps.

Writing down what I would like to achieve each day might be a good first step.

Acknowledging my road blocks to moving forward and finding ways around or over them is a good idea as well.

Either way, I have a desire to make changes where I can and to accept the issues I have no control over so that is a good thing.

Today I have the opportunity to make this day the best it can be.

How are the rest of you travelling?

Cheers from Dools

[quirkywords]

Mrs Dools

So good to see your words here again.

Your post makes me think of things we often don’t pay attention to.
Where are we going, where have you been, what will we do?

This year for me changed have been made for me so IfI d it hard to make my own changes I really want to stick to familiar. I find myself only watching movies I have seen before, feel unsure of starting new friendships and reaching out to old friends I have not heard from for a while

I still work on issues I have no control over and find that hard.

I may not have answered your question but I continue to travel and occasionally stop.
quirky

[Doolhof]

Hi Quirky,

Life can be one heck of a journey. I am learning and accepting I am not always in control, and realise I need to grow my resilience to cope with what I can cope with and try to let go of the rest, even if it is for a fleeting moment until I can catch my breath again.

I'm accepting that stopping is just fine. Sometimes I need to stop and do nothing. Sometimes I can stop, look around and find a rose to smell.

Hope you have the courage Quirky to reach out to old friends and to new ones too. If it doesn't go as you had planned, you can congratulate yourself for trying.

Holding onto the old and familiar is comforting and reassuring. Keep watching the same movies, then throw in a new one and see if you enjoy it.

Each day is a learning experience!

Cheers from Dools

[Doolhof]

Hi All,

Yesterday as I walked up to work I started to feel like I was having a panic attack and like I wanted to run away.

I tried to rationalise where those thoughts came from.

I asked myself what is the worst thing that could happen and if it did happen how would I handle it?

Part of my recent reading self help books told me I needed to put those thoughts on clouds and let them fly away.

Another had me thinking of how to defuse distressing thoughts in other ways.

I wasn't even at the front door and my brain had already exhausted me!

Instead I took some deep breaths. I looked at the roses in the garden, at the clouds in the sky, took more deep breaths and walked in to work.

I copped a mouthful of abuse the moment I walked inside. I took more deep breaths and told myself I was okay. I could deal with this.

There are so many strategies and ideas out there to help, how do we decide what actually works? Is it really working or are we just pushing our issues further under a rug?

Are we denying the existence of concerning thoughts if we just send them away on clouds? Is that healthy?

Does it help when our minds are confused by all the options on how to help ourselves when some seem to conflict each other?

Does anyone else become confused with what is beneficial, what helps and what just masks the problem?

Cheers from Dools

[Doolhof]

Hi Everyone,

Would anyone like to share how they manage to motivate themselves to keep going when you are having a tough moment?

How do you manage to move from procrastination to actually achieving something? Is it actually procrastination or depressed thoughts holding us back and how do we tell the difference?

How do you manage to achieve even small goals when you are struggling?

Cheers from Dools

[quirkywords]

Dools

what a good question and one I ask myself usually too late after I get upset.

I may have interpreted a tough moment differently but I tend to get upset and be fragile when people say things to me. I see as being critical. Often they are not.

The other day I was at my first visit to the dentist and he said something quite harmless to me but as I am Uncomfortable at dentists ( fir many reasons) I started to want to run away and I hadn’t even sat in the chair,

I took a deep breath told myself I was ok and sat in the chair, Sounds silly but for me not to cry or run when I am upset is a big thing.

I am not sure I answered your question but I assumed they were 3 different questions.

I will think about the other two. I hope I wasn’t off track.

Quirky

[Doolhof]

Hi Quirky,

It doesn't matter if we go off track, if we question why we do things a certain way and gain insight, that is a good thing!

Sometimes I don't ask questions or think things through. A little more curiosity might help me at times.

I am super impressed you were able to sit down in the dentist chair when you had felt triggered moments before. That is huge! Congratulations to you!

Tough moments can have different reactions I feel. Sometimes I cope really well, other times...mmmm...not so well!

Hope you all achieve a goal or many today.

Cheers.

[White_Rose]

Hello Quirky and Dools

Very thoughtful questions from you Dools. I think it must be the season for anxiety and panic. I used to get panic attacks many years ago but thought I was past that. Unfortunately in the past couple of months I have experienced quite a number of anxiety patches. It's really horrible. The usual symptoms feeling nauseous, cannot breathe, huge knot in my chest and overall a feeling of dread. It's so hard to change thinking when I am in the middle of this. Of course it does stunt my ability to think.

I have tried distraction therapy. I find something to do that I feel has nothing to do with the source of my anxiety (when I know). When I am at home I have a couple resources and so far have not been in public when one of these hits. I am keen to finish a piece of embroidery for someone so it appears logical to do this when I am anxious. But it's not enough. I can still think about the anxiety and of course make mistakes in my sewing. I put on the TV and tune in to something I have seen before. Much like you Quirky.

It feels comforting to know what will happen next and maybe that's the root cause of anxiety. I am not in control of my life at that moment.

The combination of both tools does help me to settle. I also go to my scrapbooking which I find absorbing once I start and that's the problem, starting. I have often thought I am a procrastinator even though it has not caused many anxiety attacks in the past. I can feel the pressure building up in me and I know I have to do the whatever or burst. Not a pretty sight I feel.

In some ways I wonder if it's good to leave tasks until I can no longer avoid them. It gives me time to think about what I need to do and manage that niggle which will only go away when I buckle down to the task. It keeps me off-balance until then. Of course it all depends on the circumstances of the task how quickly it gets done, or how much prodding in the back I get from my procrastinator nature. I suppose the knowledge that I will eventually comply is a safeguard of sorts.

Mary

[Doolhof]

Hi Mary and all,

Once upon a time Panic Attacks and what causes them was explained to me really well. Problem is I have forgotten that explanation!

Somehow the fight/flight response is triggered. There is a whole lot more to it than that. The thing is, a panic attack can be distressing for the person experiencing it and for those around you.

I have had some really spectacular panic attacks in public and have done so for decades without really realising what was happening.

Since I had the explanation, I have been trying to be more aware of when I start to feel the symptoms of an attack. Sometimes even though I am aware and try distractions, it doesn't always work. I find it harder to control when I am in an unfamiliar environment.

Procrastination is also something I need to look into more. Is it really that or mental health issues getting in the way, self doubt, insecurities about my abilities and so many other issues.

For me, it is helpful to know that other people have these issues too and I am not just some crazy person who does not cope well all the time.

So what is procrastination and what is self doubt or mental health issues?

Cheers all from Dools

[White_Rose]

Hello Dools

I think procrastination and panic/anxiety are two separate things but can have a huge effect on the other. Low self esteem, belief that you are unworthy, getting upset in public and all the other negative emotions I think can trigger panic/anxiety and off you go. Conversely being anxious over something and not getting the situation under control can return us to our previous thoughts of self doubt.

It seems to me we then get into the spiral of doubt and anxiety/panic. Each one reinforces the other so that we cannot distinguish one from another. Being anxious about something is normal. We all do it at times, some more intensely than others. Whatever the cause it can so easily lead us to self doubt. Of course the glib answer is to stop getting anxious or start being positive about ones self. Not so easy to put into action.

Procrastination is another trigger. I think it's a little easier to manage as we know what we should be doing. Not that it makes it easier to get on with things. It's the fact that we know what we want/need to do but we are unable to shake off the inertia that grips us from time to time. That can really tough, like pushing a huge boulder out of the way.

I'm not sure I can give you many tips. When it comes to procrastination I have found I can put it to one side (or rather the worry about it). Eventually the day dawns when I feel up to doing the whatever. Until then I try to contain the worry and my own irritation for not doing the job which is often quite small. I have been struggling with the need to contact CentreLink but not ready to face it. It all seems such a long process to finally talk to someone who can help and then to make sure the person understands my query. So often I feel like I have crash tackled a bus. However I did this yesterday and feel good about it. Time will tell if what I need has been supplied so another week of waiting until the postie arrives with my letter. Mail is so slow.

Mary