Struggling with loneliness

[Lizeyloo]

Hi, I'm a 20F and struggling a lot at the moment. I only have 1 friend who lives in another city but has mental issues of her own, I don't feel close to her rlly at all anymore and I feel like whenever we talk its just negative and makes me feel worse, there is no escape. Its hard to be living like this at 20 when everyone is going out and living their best life, I can't help but just be depressed. I'm rlly socially awkward and I feel like it is just getting worse bc i don't know how normal 20 yr olds should act. I've developed some weird habits too. I've become obsessed with this celebrity to the point I'm refreshing my feed every hr to see if they've posted. It's not that I want to date them but I'm just so lonely I think it comforts me to see them happy and living a life. Right now I work at a dead end job and go to uni, socializing seems so easy for everyone and when I go to uni everyone is in their groups laughing and I just feel so alone. How can it already be so hard when I'm only 20. I'm not sure how to be happy and be myself when I'm so anxious about everything, I just can't let loose. My heart beats so fast and words come out so badly that ppl just stare at me weirdly, it is getting more and more worse as time goes on. My confidence has never been worse. I also feel sad knowing I'm turning 21 next year and probably no one will be there to celebrate with me. It looks so easy for everyone else. I feel very lost. 

[Sophie_M]

Hey Lizeyloo,

Thank you for opening up and sharing with us here. We know it can be tough to reach out and it is a brave step to have taken.

We are sorry to hear how much social anxiety is impacting your life. You are not alone in feeling the way that you do. It is something that so many of us here can relate to. It can deeply impact your confidence when it seems like everyone around you can just “naturally” interact and have a large friendship group.

In fact, many of us are drawn to the Forums as it offers a space to connect that is less anxiety-provoking and feels more manageable. Speaking to others online, as you are now, can be a great way to build our social skills when we feel up to it.

20 can be a tough age. We are faced with big questions such as what we want to do with our lives, while also dealing with changing friendship groups and lifestyles. For so many people, “normal” life as a 20-year-old can look very similar. We hope that you can give yourself some kindness as you navigate this stage of life.

Please know that there’s always someone here for you to talk it through with. The Beyond Blue counsellors are available 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 or via webchat (for those of us who can’t stand phone calls!), here.   
 
Take good care of yourself, Lizeyloo. We are here for you any time 💙
 
Kind regards
Sophie M