Struggle to get out of Bed.....

Sparkles183 · ‎26-08-2015

Struggle to get out of bed.

Lately my depression and Anxiety has hitten rock bottom and I can bearly find the effort to get out of bed,even if it is just for a few moments to go to the loo or plug my phone in.

I no longer feel my medication is working and it is still hard for me to go and get the help I need.

I now am living in another state and I thought once I move things will start to get better but in fact they have got worse. Although I live with the fact that living here is the only way that I will get the help I need without family shouting in my ear with the stigma we grew up with that I don't need antidepressants and I have nothing to be depressed about. But I know it is real to me and I do have nothing to be depressed about. But I do live with depression a condition that does not discriminate.

I know I need help and in need it now... as I can not tolerate the unhelpful thoughts that go through my head at night they are like torture and I have never been so scared in my life.

but every time I go to get help I chicken out. I was going to go to a support group the other night but I got to front door and turned around I was going to make an appointment to go to a GP today but well at least I thought about it.

I guess being out of the house for more then two hours is just too much for me at the moment.... Although I do feel like staying in bed all day and know if I do go out of the house for more then two hours is exhausting I make sure I do try to make the effort every day to go out for an hour or two as I have found even just a little bit of sunshine helps my mood...

thanks for listening I guess my goal for the next week is to find a good GP in this city that bulks bills and understands mental health issues..

Sparkles

Sparkles183 · ‎31-08-2015

Thanks Jettalee,

i hope things get better for you and make sure u treat yourself to something nice.....

sparkles

Doolhof · ‎31-08-2015

Hi Sparkles and Jettalee,

I'm wishing you both a brighter week!

I managed to get out into the sun on the weekend and that was wonderful for me. I pulled up a what feels like a few hundred weeds!

At first I thought I had not made much of a difference at all as there are still so many thousands of weeds on our property, then I had a look at the patch I had managed to clear and decided to concentrate on my achievement instead of what is still ahead of me.

Tonight I had planned to do a few things after work, but I vegged out on the lounge instead watching t.v. That is okay, there is always tomorrow!

I hope you are both able to find something in your day that makes you feel happy to be who you are!

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

Sparkles183 · ‎31-08-2015

Thank you MRS Dools.

i hope you have a brighter week as well. I can only dream of the sunshine at the moment as it has been raining on and off all weekend here so I am hoping the sun comes out throughout the week so maybe I can sit in the park and get some vitamin D from the sun... I am aiming to take my self out and see a movie tomorrow the fact that the movie is only showing for a few days and the movie will not be playing in cinemas after tomorrow may motivate me to get out of Bed... It is so great to hear about your achievement remember every little bit counts and the fact that u go out and work despite the way u are feeling is a testimony in itself and is a real inspiration.. Thanks for sharing

have a great week

sparkles

Doolhof · ‎02-09-2015

Hi Sparkles,

I hope you were able to get out to see the movie you wanted to see. I recently discovered that a cinema that is 1/2 hour away from us has a $10.00 deal on Tuesdays. I might try and get there once a month. I could ask some friends from that area if they would like to join me.

I had a mixed up kind of a day today. I had a Drs. appointment then decided to have lunch in a café where I wrote out some cards for friends. I then had to assist a client then sat in the car and wrote a letter to a friend over seas while waiting for my appointment to see my counsellor. It was raining at the time so it was lovely to hear the rain while sitting in the car.

My appointment with the counsellor went well. I'm spending some time on the computer, will cook dinner then hope to head off to my Country Fire Service training. Hopefully we will be doing something inside as it is still raining!

I've planned to catch up with my sister and niece on Saturday so am looking forward to that.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

Sparkles183 · ‎02-09-2015

Hi Mrs Dools

it is good to hear that your appointment with your counsellor went well... I did not end up making it to the movie as I had lack of motivation but I did find some Motivation to do something I been trying to do for the last week. Although I now have to wait for the movie to come out on DVD I think I should look at it as an achievement that I was able to do that instead of being disappointed with myself. I only managed to get out of the house for 20 minutes today as I have had no energy.

and I am thinking of ringing my Mental health dr up on fri as I relay need to see a psycoligest and she still has not sent the referral through so that is relay frustrating right now...

I hope you enjoy your outing tonight and your catch up with your niece and sister on the weekend and please make sure you do treat yourself sometimes, either to a movie or something else u more then deserve it...

enjoy your night

sparkles

Doolhof · ‎06-09-2015

Hi Sparkles,

I have not been on the computer for a few days now. Thanks for your reply. I hope you were able to phone your Dr and have been able to secure an appointment with the psychologist.

This last week I have been really tired and struggling to get things done, but that is okay. I manage to get out to work each day and have been cooking healthy meals so that is a good thing.

I invited some friends over Friday night for supper and that went well. They weren't here long, but the time we had together was nice. We discovered we all like to play board games and cards so I hope to organise a games evening soon.

I caught up with my sister at a Framer's Market and bought some lovely vegetables and fruit. We then went to their house for lunch sharing some of the foods we had both bought.

Today I managed to make it to Church so was pleased about that. I then went to a plant nursery. I didn't buy anything but had a nice time looking at all the different flowering plants, some I have never seen before. There were so many different colours and styles, they were gorgeous.

Sometimes we just don't have the energy or the motivation to do things, so being able to watch the movie later on when it is realised on a DVD is a good option.

Hope you have had a nice weekend.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

Sparkles183 · ‎08-09-2015

Thanks Mrs Dools.

it is good to hear that u managed to catch with some family and friends and go to church that is a big achievement... I been meaning to go to church for the last month but I simply don't have the energy to go. I spent most of the weekend in bed watching Movies on Netflix and I have been having a lot of trouble sleeping over the last week waking up several times during the night and on Sunday night I did not get any sleep at all. I managed to get things sorted out with my mental health doctor and psych and I have a appointment with the psych this coming Friday so that was a big achievement for me I am just feeling a bit nervous at the moment but I know I will manage.

the nursery sounds great I like looking at different plants as well but over the last few days I been going in different pet stores looking at different animals although I can not have pets in my current house and I am not planing on moving soon I know that animals can be very loving and it helps with depression so I thought it does not hurt to just look at the animals.

Anyway I got to go now I am going to check out a support group tonight take care.

sparkles....

Doolhof · ‎08-09-2015

Hi Sparkles,

All the best with your appointment on Friday. I hope it goes well for you and also hope you are able to feel like you can trust this person and you feel relaxed enough to gain from the appointment.

I too like to visit pet shops to have a look at the animals. I have also visited the Animal Welfare League just so I can see the cats. I went about a month ago and spent some time in the cat enclosures playing with and patting the cats. I know people volunteer to dot his as well. They are about an hours drive from us, other wise I would go more often.

I had to pick my husband up from the airport today. It is close to the beach so I had time for a walk along the beach first. It was drizzling a little with rain, but it didn't last long thankfully.

The beach really relaxes me. So I quite enjoyed my walk.

Hope the rest of your week goes well.

Cheerio for now from Mrs. Dools

Sparkles183 · ‎12-09-2015

Hi mrs Dools

how has your week been?

For me my week has been ok I bought my self a nice plant the other day so I can sit out in the front yard and admire the plant and the beautiful creation around me.

My sleep pattern has been really messy I have been fining I can't get to sleep until 3 am and after that I will wake up 2 or 3 times until I finely decide to get out of bed. The nurse me up this week and told me I had low iron levels so hopefully once my iron levels goes up I can start to have a bit more energy again. Anyway I am going to try to get some sleep I hope you are doing better

sparkles

Doolhof · ‎12-09-2015

Hi Sparkles,

Lovely to hear from you. My week has been okay thanks. I have been busy with work and spending time out in the garden. This weekend we have had some glorious weather, so I have enjoyed weeding.

We have some fruit trees that are now in blossom and some iris and other plants are flowering as well. Even the bright yellow of the sour sob weeds add lovely colour to the garden!

It is wonderful you have bought yourself a plant you can enjoy, that is great.

Just being out in the fresh air and the sunshine is lovely.

I may spend a little more time in the garden tomorrow. The chooks always enjoy some time to run around the garden. One of them took off the other day and was almost in the neighbours yard! They have a dog, so I don't fancy the chooks chances of surviving if the dog catches it!

Hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Cheers, from Mrs. Dools