Struggle to get out of Bed.....

[Sparkles183]

Struggle to get out of bed.

Lately my depression and Anxiety has hitten rock bottom and I can bearly find the effort to get out of bed,even if it is just for a few moments to go to the loo or plug my phone in.

I no longer feel my medication is working and it is still hard for me to go and get the help I need.

I now am living in another state and I thought once I move things will start to get better but in fact they have got worse. Although I live with the fact that living here is the only way that I will get the help I need without family shouting in my ear with the stigma we grew up with that I don't need antidepressants and I have nothing to be depressed about. But I know it is real to me and I do have nothing to be depressed about. But I do live with depression a condition that does not discriminate. 

I know I need help and in need it now... as I can not tolerate the unhelpful thoughts that go through my head at night they are like torture and I have never been so scared in my life.

but every time I go to get help I chicken out. I was going to go to a support group the other night  but I got to front door and turned around I was going to make an appointment to go to a GP today but well at least I thought about it.

I guess being out of the house for more then two hours is just too much for me at the moment.... Although I do feel like staying in bed all day and know if I do go out of the house for more then two hours is exhausting I make sure I do try to make the effort every day to go out for an hour or two as I have found even just a little bit of sunshine helps my mood...

thanks for listening I guess my goal for the next week is to find a good GP in this city that bulks bills and understands mental health issues..

Sparkles 

[Narniakid]

Hey Sparkles183, thank you for sharing.

I can totally see why you're feeling so down at the moment - moving away from a family who've never accepted or coped with your depression to a whole new city; that's pretty heavy stuff, for any of us! 

Support groups aren't for everyone, I was never brave enough to go to them, so I understand where you're coming from. I urge you to consult a GP in your new city whom you're able to make regular appointments with, because your depression creeping back is your mind's way of coping with this new environment, and we don't want you falling back down the black hole.

Are you working or seeking employment? Are you studying? Do you have any hobbies? Keep yourself occupied and busy because a sense of accomplishment and purpose is something I find really helpful in the recovery process. Take up short course, try a new hobby, do some art at home in your room, bake a cake - whatever it is, it will get you out of bed and get you moving and doing something rather than feeling sad. 

Keep your chin up. Remember that negative thoughts are just reactions to fear and anxiety thrives on avoidance. You've got this!

Crystal 

[Sparkles183]

Hi Crystal 

i made an appointment with a GP for tomorrow I will let u know how it goes. 

[Doolhof]

Hi Sparkles,

I'm sorry to read that you are doing life so tough at present.

The BB Community Moderator has written you a very informative and hopefully a helpful message to you. I certainly felt encouraged myself when I read it.

Lately I have been struggling with my depression, stress and related issues. My Dr had me hospitalised just a month ago and now my husband has left on a holiday he had planned a year ago. It is really bad timing and I am struggling big time with my depression.

As I have a job, I need to get up in the morning. We also have pets that need my help and  assistance to survive so that gets me a little motivated each morning. Today when I returned home from work, I went to bed and slept for almost three hours!

I am trying to tell myself that it is my depression that is making me feel this way, and that if I try really hard I can get through the day.

I hope you are able to go and see the GP and that he or she is able to help you. I would be lost with out my GP. He has helped me so much! I hope you are able to receive the help and assistance that you need.

I also hope you are able to use some of the ideas the BB moderator has suggested and you are able to slowly introduce more pleasant activities to your day.

Wishing you all the best with the Dr appointment. Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

[Flora]

Hey Sparkles,

Sounds like a difficult time.

My suggestion would be to take little steps at a time - challenge yourself a little each day and each time you achieve something (even if it seems small) you'll be making a big step toward feeling better.

One of the biggest challenges for me is resisting the urge to sit around or lie in bed and do nothing. On weekdays it's easier because I have to go to work, but on weekends and after work, it's hard to find motivation to do anything. So I've starting making sure I get out of the house - whether it's accepting invitations to go out, or going to buy ingredients to make a meal, or buying a plant and then doing a little bit of gardening. It's a bit of distraction and makes you feel like you're achieving something.

And afterwards, congratulate yourself for making the effort to do something that your brain was telling you that you couldn't do.

Hope that helps! All the best 🙂

PS So sorry that your family don't seem to understand, but please know there is a huge network of us 'strangers' who do understand and care about you 🙂

[Sparkles183]

Thank u everyone for your encouragement and support.

Today was the first day in along time I made it through the day without sleeping for half the day.

I went to the dr this morning and she was great she told me she told me I was already on the max recommended dose and she did not want to change my medication as it would be too dangerous for me to wean off my current meds at the moment. So she is keeping me on my current meds as she thinks the meds I am on is working but the stress of what I been through in the last 12 months has gotten too much for me and has set my depression off.she has referred me to a psyc who I need to make an appointment with next week.  

So this will my 3rd psychologist in a year that I have seen I hope it will be the last pysc I will ever see...

as I realy do want to get better and my dr I saw today wants to get me back to the stage where I am able to work again and I am enjoying life... Yay that sounds so good to me. After I went to the doctors I went to see some friends and I ended up going to a worship night tonight with them it was so good to be able to go back and be free and worship something that use to be my favourite thing to do. So it was great to reunite a old flame and passion I just guess I need to find the motivation to do it more often.... Any way thanks for listening and thank u for your support everyone I felt like I have come along way in my road to recovery in just one day...Sparkles 

[Sparkles183]

Hi everyone 

I think sometimes we learn the hard way to take baby steps. I know everyone keeps telling me to take things slow but I guess I am stubborn. After 2 days in a row of having full days and being out of the house for more then a few hours I hit a brick wall... I even found I had no energy to roll over in bed this morning I just laid in bed starring at the wall before I found the energy to roll over and go back to sleep. I then got out of bed at midday now I am back laying in bed at 2.30 pm... I am so glad I have got a supportive house mate who is supporting me through this time. I guess tomorrow I will only take baby steps to get out of the house instead of a giant leap...

thanks for reading 

sparkles 

[Sparkles183]

Can things get any worse????

that is Question we all often ask and I have asked on this forum before but the truth is I know there is hope out there somewhere. 

I had another hard day today and all I want to do is cry,

but I can't Cry I feel such a heaviness in my chest like I am carrying all my emotions in my chest. The only thing I can do right now is just lay in bed. I rang up to try to makea appointment      with the psyc my GP referred me to. But she has not sent the mental health plan through yet, and she she forgot to give me a copy, so that does not help the psyc said she may send it through in the mail so crossing my fingers and hoping she has as I relay need the help right now and someone to talk to. My house mate is good but she does not relay understand what I am going through....

thanks for letting me vent...

sparkles 

[Sparkles183]

Another hard day but having a rest this afternoon helped a little bit..... I try to make a appointment with the psyc today but but I could not make the appointment, because my GP did not send through the appointment so I came home and went to bed for a few hours and watched a little bit of youtube... I guess what is hurting most at the moment is getting rejected when I am trying to reach out for help, ....... 

[Jettalee]

Hi Sparkles 183

Sorry to hear of your struggles,its so disappointing when people do not follow through on their part.I am also coming to terms with rejection in my life,I feel so alone in it,as it has been coming at me from quite a few people. I feel beaten down today from a bad night of pts and been in bed all day.One day at a time, Lets be kind and gentle to ourselves. love an light  going out to you Sparkles 183. Cheers Jettalee