So Alone and Depressed

[Loveanimals]

Hi

I am so down and depressed about life.  I have been doing a lot to look after others (which I do not resent; these people are the only ones in my life I truly care about).  Nobody in my family cares.  I have been struggling all of my life and my close family are just absent.  Mind you they always come to me with their problems.  

I am tired of everything.  Tired of running a household, stressing over my son....tired of having to be responsible for every damn thing.  I never have a social outing.  Nobody ever makes me a nice meal or does anything to reduce the drudgery of my existence.  I constantly worry about my son and about finances etc.  There really is nothing nice in my life.  I am absolutely trapped.

I have posted here many times and it is groundhog day.  The only time I get any peace is when I am asleep.  I have nice dreams but wake up realising none of that is reality.  

I have tried everything known to man to help.  Doctors, counsellors, psychiatrists, psychologists.....medications; diet and exercise...all to no avail.  I truly think I am just broken inside from all of the trauma and negativity that life has thrown at me from day one.  

I won't give up.   I have two very important people in my life whom I would never do that to.  However it is a daily struggle.  I do not know what I have done to deserve any of this.  I don't even know who I am or what I want.  Other than financial freedom of course.  But even if I had that I would still be lost.  Absolutely nothing excites or motivates me anymore.  I know that losing two beautiful dogs last year just about killed me.  I want another dog so much but cannot afford one.  

I will struggle on.  I appreciate anything anyone can advise.  I am sorry to be this way but I simply cannot help myself.

[tranzcrybe]

Love is found in what one receives, but equally (if not more so) in what one gives. Treat yourself occasionally with a 'nice meal' or some pampering to help balance the ledger.

I also like to 'borrow' friends' (and complete strangers'!) pets - a sort of 'rent' scheme paid for in pats for a much needed canine fix of unconditional love.

[Loveanimals]

I guess I am just totally out of balance as I give constantly and get zero in return.  I do always approach sweet dogs when I see them as I absolutely love them so.  I am thinking of rescuing one next year once I have more money.  I have been totally miserable since losing my beloved girl in December.  I adore my cat but it's not the same as having a dog...cats are nowhere near as affectionate!  Thanks for your reply.  Much appreciated. xx

[tranzcrybe]

Pet owner feeds dog...
Dog looks up lovingly thinking "All this is for me? My owner must be a god!"
Pet owner feeds cat...
Cat thinks to itself, "All this is for me? I must be a god!"

But there are exceptions in animals as surely also in people. I had a cat 'adopt' me as a stray kitten (no accounting for taste!) and its loyalty and affection were unquestionable.

Then again, I later 'inherited' a mature aged cat that was the most irritating primadonna - funny thing I learned about myself was how poorly my reactions and expectations were so easily manipulated when not receiving appreciation I somehow felt was deserved.

Dogs, from my experience, seem to have a remarkable tolerance for us fallible humans and expect very little in return; indeed, my dogs taught me much about the simpler joys in life.

Have you considered becoming a foster carer for Guide dog puppies? It could be an economical alternative as everything is provided, but the hard part would be handing them back at the finish!