Hey there, welcome to the forums and thank you for reaching out. It's good that you're keeping a journal, because it does allow you to pick up on patterns amongst your feelings as you've described.
I've definitely seen a lot of my friends go through seasonal depression and similar feeling patterns, and I remember one of my old teachers talking about this when I was in high school as well - the weather tends to have a significant effect on people's mood.
I'd recommend having a chat to a GP about this and see what resources and/or professional advice they may be able to give you, if you'd feel comfortable doing so.
Your mum may also have some good insights as well, and I think that if she's somebody you'd feel comfortable discussing this with, that may be a good idea, just to have her support and hear any advice that she may have for you. Are there any other loved ones you'd also feel comfortable opening up to?
Do you know if there's something that happens around winter time that may also be causing you to feel depressed? Any events, or lack of events, or anything else that you've noticed happens around the time that these feelings start? This may also be worth observing, if you may have touched on it in your journal.
Please feel free to keep chatting if you need, we're here to support you throughout the year but especially now if you're feeling like you need some.
Take care, SB
