Dear LFP
Hello and welcome to Beyond Blue. I see you have already replied to a number of people so congratulations.
Unfortunately good and bad days are par for the course. Have a look at the information provided by BB about depression and anxiety. Here are some links.
https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/depression
https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/anxiety
https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/recovery-and-staying-well
https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/treatment-options
You can send for any of this information or download it to your computer. It's worthwhile being as informed as possible about what is happening inside you. You may also like to search for The Black Dog Institute which is a good source of information.
You are reading and replying to other posts which is great. I often find myself saying to other people the things I need to say to myself and it's not until I see it in print that I have the ah-ha moment.
Roller-coasters are not a lifelong sentence, but learning how to get off them is hard until you learn the tricks. Are you taking any medication or receiving help from a professional medical person? If not then it is often a great idea to have a chat with your GP about how you feel.
It's often said that depression is caused by an imbalance of chemicals in the brain. That's true in essence but there is a little more to it. Our brains are quite lazy and prefer to maintain the status quo as it is the easier option. You really need to point out who is boss and this is not easy. Read up on neuroplasticity. This is about making new pathways in our brains and to think in different ways. I think it is quite exciting.
Hope to get a reply from you.
Mary
