Regret and winter blues

[Lookingforpeace]

Hi all

Finding myself feeling really low today. It's been cold and wet today and getting dark earlier and I just seem to get depressed as a result. 

Then when I'm in this "funk" I start to obsess over things I've done in the past and things that have happened and feel intense guilt and regret. I'm also not very well physically and struggling to see a light at the end of the tunnel or imagine a day when I'll feel better.

 Anyone else experience the same feelings, particularly in winter? What do you do to cope?

[flower_girl1]

Hi Lookingforpeace,

Sorry to hear you are not feeling so good today the weather was quite miserable. Have you ever read up on a condition called SAD? Its depression related to the seasons.

I can get a bit like this on wet days, sometimes I have to make myself go outside when its cold or just a rainy. Even if the weather ain't great the time outside is still helpful, just rug up a bit and walk fast so you keep warm.

I also try to think about night time and the cold in  a better way. Like I concentrate on how its quiet and peaceful at night. I but myself really nice slippers and warm jumpers, put the heater and try to think of it as a snugly night instead of a dreary night. Winter can still be quiet beautiful if you look at it that way.

When I was traveling in Europe in winter the lack of sun was really making my miserable as well so I tried taking some vitamins to make up for it, its not a miracle but it can take the edge off some times.

flower_girl

[BKYTH]

SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) as flower_girl suggested is worth looking into. I think all of us would like to revisit the past and change a few things, perhaps a lot of things but of course that is impossible........................When I look back on the past, something I do much less these days, I try to learn something from it. I was not perfect then and I am not perfect now. Accepting things that you cannot change is essential to a sense of wellbeing whereas guilt and regret are self-inflicted punishments that can never produce anything but sorrow..............................As I write this I am creating the past. What ever you are doing now is the same. Everything we do is instantly in the past. So we can strive now to not repeat those things that we would wish to change, if we could, about our past but can't............................Don't struggle to see a light at the end of the tunnel but work to build that light.....What would a better day look like to you? What does this day lack? - I'm sorry to hear that your health is poor, and that in itself, is an added difficulty. I hope you choose to say more about your situation. But if not don't give up. Philip.

[Neil_1]

Hi there LFP

I just wanted to have a quick response to you as well.

I cannot add much more to the awesome responses you’ve received from both Flower Girl and also BKYTH – some really good tips there and I’ve taken some of those on board as well.

I guess it makes things just a lot more affected when you aren’t feeling too well physically – so I’m going to just mention ultra boring things for you and you may already be doing this anyway;   but taking some kind of vitamin tablets can help boost you, drinking loads of water and eating healthy choice options as well.  Yes yes, I know I harp on about these things at different times, but they are important and can make a difference.

As always, I hope you can post back.

Neil

[JessF]

I am one of these strange people that tends to experience these things more in summer. I enjoy the feeling of going outside in winter, especially if it is raining, and just feeling the elements. I think part of it is rebelling against the mum's advice as a child, 'don't go out in the rain or you'll catch a cold'. It's the same reason why I like standing on giant surf beaches, it reminds you of your place in the world and that there are forces beyond your control.

Am I advising going and standing out in the rain the next time it buckets down? Yes, I am! Just throw caution to the wind and enjoy it. Watch and smile as others are dashing between shelter with umbrellas. And then go inside for a nice hot shower or bath.

[BKYTH]

Beethoven went for walks when it was raining and declined any offer of an umbrella. He not only declined such offers but could make no sense of them...........I haven't the inclination nor the capacity to ponder the number of raindrops I might have avoided in my rush from here to there or the interest in the extra number that I might have been subject to by strolling leisurely...........I also enjoy being cold. What is the fun in things being just 'right'? Philip.

[JessF]

That's very poetic, 'pondering the number of raindrops I might have avoided'. It's a lovely metaphor for life, and being scared or fearful of things that might happen to us as well.

Lookingforpeace we are having a discussion in the staying well forum that you might like to join in on, called 'does feeling grateful help at all', we have been talking about ruminating on the past and regrets in there.

And briefly on the subject of the winter blues, I believe you can actually buy special desktop lamps that help to simulate sunlight during gloomy months.