Should i really be depressed?

[MegJane89]

Hello.

Im 25yrs old and seemed to have my life together about a year ago. However things crumbled slowly.  My mum took a bad turn and attempted suicide.  She has been suffering from depression and anxiety for years and lately its been at its worse. Sometimes She wont leave the house and lays around being depressed.  It affects because i have to live with it.  Last year i left my job of five years and since then i still havnt found a suitable job or even know what i want to do. I feel like i am now becoming depressed because i cant find a job.  I keep putting guilt on myself for not having a new job.  Should i really be like this? 

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[JessF]

Hello Meg, it makes perfect sense that you would be feeling overwhelmed at the moment. Living with a depressed loved one can be very demanding, and without a job to go to currently, it doesn't sound like you have any escape from that environment.

A couple of questions...what other support is there in your family for helping out with your mum, and secondly, why did you leave your old job? Were you thinking at that time that you wanted a complete change of direction?

[White_Rose]

Dear Meg

Welcome to the beyond Blue community. It's good that you have found your way to this forum and want to chat with us.

I agree with Jess' comments. Living with someone with depression can be difficult and invariably has an effect on that carer. Like Jess my thought was why did you leave your job. Was it to take care of your mother?

There are no "shoulds" in the world. We do the things we feel are right at the time. Sometimes they turn out well and sometimes not so well. If we can be guilty because we made a poor decision or things didn't turn out the way we thought, then we would all be in a bad way. Whatever your reason for leaving your job it has happened. I suspect there can be many reasons why you have not found a new job, but is it for lack of trying? If not then there is no need for guilt or remorse.

I am also interested in your family situation. Caring for your mother on your own is hard work I am sure. Is this the reason you are unable to work?

It's always a worry when someone starts to feel the way you describe. I cannot tell you if you are depressed. This is something you need to ask your doctor. I can say you are obviously unhappy but this is not necessarily depression. On the BB homepage there is a one minute depression checklist. It's not a diagnostic tool. It's meant as an indicator of your mood. You may find it useful to complete the checklist.

Would you write in again and tell us a little more about yourself please.

Mary