My second child was born two years after his older brother. I had expected older brother to be potty trained by then, but he wasn't. Two lots of nappies was a lot of work for a young mother with no help. Added to this, my elder child was insanely jealous of his brother to the point where I feared leaving them alone in the same room.
Lack of money and a total inability to accept any help from friends because 'I must do it by myself' led to severe depression and severe strain on my marriage.
I felt like nothing and lost interest in everything, even my children. Looking back, my inability to accept help was a major problem. I was so very hard on myself that I made it hard for others to support me. I ended up seeing a psychiatrist, who told me not to worry so much!
Antidepressants did not work for me, making me even more tired and compounding my feelings of inadequacy.
I spent a considerable amount of time going over past hurts but, although my life had not been easy, I came to realise that we cannot undo our past but we can learn to be resilient from going through those experiences.
Although my experience of depression was difficult, I learnt so much. My last episode was ten years ago. I meditate, I keep busy, socialise and exercise regularly. But, most of all, I gain satisfaction through supporting others to overcome their depression.
