Everyday struggles

[Ruby01]

Over the years I have had many struggles in life with friends and family. I used to always live on the edge also, no fear with anything and would almost try everything no matter of the consequences. I always knew I was being destructive but had no control over my actions. Sometimes I go through phases where I think everyone is out to hurt me in some way. I have big trust issues and mostly am always fearful of being hurt. Before I get hurt I seem to lash out at that person first and make myself to be the bad person. I am a happy person normally I’m life, have recently felt I can control my manic stages but the lack of trust and lashing out at people who I care about is becoming a problem. I would do anything to help anyone and then get sad because people can’t reciprocate. I have problems of letting things go. I stew on them for days and put myself through so much pain. Try and work out different scenarios of how that could of gone better or what I could have said bwttwr to defend myself. My chest hurts most of the time and I am constantly fighting with my anxiety. I have been off Al my medication for over a year now and I think I can start to see a pattern of my issues. I don’t want to go back on medication I want to strengthen my mind to make better choices. I was diagnosed with Bipolar II some years ago. This may be the case but I always feel I have more PTSD from things that he loaned to me when I was in my teens. Does anybody else feel this way ? And how do you beat handle similar situations. 

[smallwolf]

hello and welcome.

I'm really sorry to hear that you've been through so much and have been struggling with these challenges. It takes a lot of strength to open up about your experiences, and it's commendable that you're actively seeking ways to improve your situation.

I also have to admit that I am not in the same situation as you but some parts overlap...

Many people have faced similar feelings of distrust, fear, and difficulty letting go of past experiences - myself included. I am not sure what steps you have tried, and what did nor did not work. I found things like guided mindfulness practices helpful to manage anxiety and negative thought patterns.

Additionally, focusing on self-care, engaging in activities you enjoy, and building a strong support network of understanding friends and family can contribute to your emotional well-being.

Please remember that progress takes time and setbacks can happen, but every step you take towards understanding and managing your emotions is a step in the right direction. You're not alone in your struggles, and seeking support from professionals and loved ones can make a significant difference. Stay patient with yourself and focus on the positive changes you're making.