Partner is depressed + newborn baby

[New_mum_of_1]

Hi, my partner broke down a week ago and told me he is depressed. We have a 3 week old baby girl. He says he hasnt been happy for a long time (before baby) and then he told me he doesn't think he is in love with me anymore.

He runs his own business and has been experiencing extreme financial stress with that and also trying to open up a second small business. His plate is very full especially now with our baby and he is very overwhelmed.

I am still heartbroken at the fact that he said he isn't sure he is in love with me anymore and cry everyday over this! I love this man more than anything and had no idea he was feeling this way. As far as I knew we were happy.

I admit that with everything going on in the last year or so, we haven't been as "connected" as we once were and our relationship was lacking affection, intimacy and quality time together but he has still been the fun, happy, positive guy I love and adore up until a week ago.

Im struggling to cope with this change in him, its so out of character. He has gone from being funny, happy and positive to miserable, angry and negative. Like someone has flipped a switch!

I was hysterical in tears, shocked at what he was saying to me as I just can't imagine my life without him. During my pregnancy he seemed distant sometimes and now it breaks my heart because he has distanced himself so much from me and our baby that he is missing out on the special bonding time with her.

He said he is going to get help but hasn't made the appointment yet and wont let me help. He is pushing me away, shutting me out, we are living like we are housemates. He wants to be alone and wants space. He helps with bub sometimes but is putting his time into the gym and the new business so is hardly home. He seems angry towards me like he is blaming me for all of this?

I feel so alone and upset that we are going through this and not spending time as a family, and that he isn't spending quality time with our baby.

I really want him to go to therapy so we can work through this and then work on fixing our relationship. He said he needs to sort himself out first.

Its like he is suffering a mix of depression and postpartum depression. He is showing all of the signs. Im giving him the space he has asked for but I am really struggling. I've told my mum about it so that I have support but he won't speak to any mates or family. Im so heartbroken, lost, alone and don't know how to encourage him to take that first step to get help 😔 I miss him!!

[Bree1524]

Hi Amy, 

I’m so sorry to hear what you have been through. How did things end up for you?

I ask because I am currently in a similar situation where my partner has left me and our baby due to depression. It is so hard.