Hi Guest,
I'm sorry that you aren't with your partner anymore after everything you two have been through together and all the good times you've had. I've never been in a relationship before so I haven't felt how much that would hurt or at least not yet, but it does still sound extremely hard especially if the relationship brought you a lot of joy.
The good news is, you're only 34. Just yesterday, my Mum told me that she read about someone on a different forum thinking they hadn't achieved anything at the age of 35 and felt like their life was over and then she said that at 35, you're a spring chicken. I'm 31 and while I don't feel old, I sometimes felt like I should have achieved a lot more and done a lot more at my age, but what my Mum made me realise is just how young we still are in our 30's. We should by all means be at least a bit more mature now than we were in our early 20's, but we still have plenty of things to learn and grow from and definitely plenty of time to achieve a lot of things.
It may feel like the end now, but it's not. Things will eventually get better as much as it sucks now. It can feel like you'll never feel loved or find love again after a difficult break-up, but it's not true.
I'm still trying to find a steady job that pays at least about $18 an hour or just enough for me to live on. Luckily, I have this type of support from my parents, and they let me live with them until I can find my own place.
Would you like to tell me things you would like to achieve? You could make it a goal to achieve one of those things when you feel a lot better and try to achieve some of it within about a year or two. It's okay to take your time and time is what will eventually heal the pain you are feeling right now which will lead you to a path and the path could be better than the one you were on before.
