Not coping.

[Guest_4521]

I am in Victoria, pregnant and due in November and I feel like the biggest loser on the planet at the moment because I'm pregnant...in the middle of a pandemic. Remote learning is the biggest load of bull donkey.
I have seen in my life.

People in my life know I'm not coping. I reach out and crickets.
My daughter's school doesn't care that I'm struggling with remote learning.
I am refusing my prenatal appointments because I know if I catch this stupid virus they will separate me and the baby. I would rather die in childbirth than risk that. At least I'll get to see my baby before I die, I won't if I catch COVID.
Hospital is harassing me even though I have explained why I won't go...so I blocked their number.
I feel nothing but guilt for being pregnant, I don't even know what the future is going to be like for my kids, at the moment the world is a rotten place to be!

I left my mother's group because they were all celebrating their pregnancies. I couldn't and I still can't. This isn't a good thing, and I didn't want to rain on their parade.

I can't tell if I am depressed, disillusioned or just angry. I really hope all these sacrifices are worth it for those who need it, because it's not for me! I did therapy last year to help my social anxiety and agoraphobia. It is back with a vengeance but now I know I'm not being paranoid, people are definitely NOT trust worthy!

[Sophie_M]

Hey Behebsbwna, welcome to the Beyond Blue forum. We're glad to see you've found some relief in the story of Guest_4521. We can imagine life would be very challenging right now with having to manage the stress of a pregnancy along with the stress of a pandemic! We're concerned to hear that you didn't have any food or baby items available to you. If you are unable to buy groceries because of everything going on, please don't hesitate to contact a food bank to get what you need, such as Food Bank Australia.  If you feel up to it, we'd also recommend reaching out to our Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service. The website will be regularly updated with information, advice and strategies to help you manage your wellbeing and mental health during this time. You can also call our dedicated support line, staffed by mental health professionals, which is available 24/7 on 1800 512 348. Please know that you've come to a safe, non-judgemental space to talk about your thoughts and feelings, and our wonderful community is here to provide you with as much support, advice and conversation as you need.

[Guest_4521]

Hi, thank you for responding!

I have managed to get some baby clothes (bulk second hand off eBay, such a life saver!).

As for separating me from the baby, there have been women who have been separated from their babies because they are covid positive. There was the towers debarcle for one, her baby was premmie and they wouldn't even allow her to send (not bring, SEND) her breast milk to her baby.

Then last week I saw another lady who got in contact with a charity I follow on FB, she will be separated from her baby as well because she is covid positive!

Considering the situation is constantly changing from day to day and the hospital I'm delivering at isn't above doing the whole "bait and switch" I don't trust what they say....I'm glad your hospital is trustworthy and you feel comfortable going to your appointments (well, as comfortable as can be expected).

I'm due in November, so who knows what else we will be expected to do by then. Once again I will say it's not the virus that I'm scared of, I am scared of the consequences of getting said virus, especially since I have been meticulously avoiding every possible instance where I could catch it. I'd like to keep it that way!