New start and new approach to this year

[HamSolo01]

The last time I made a post in these forums was in 2017. Back then I was probably in the darkest moment of my life since I can remember. I thought that I was beyond help and there was no hope for me going forward.

Here I am in 2021 and I have a job (even though I want to leave to something else), been on a couple of dates, travelled, finished my degree and also made some new friends. I guess these days my woes are different. I've spent a lot of time looking into my past and trying to see if I can get an explanation or reveal some home truths about myself and my experiences.

I have spent time in a psych ward, I've been on differing meds, I've spoken to psychologists and psychiatrists. I've spent some time with mental health charities working with them.

These days I want some new challenges and new things in life - it's hard. I have desires to get a new job and to also go back and study again.

Today has been a quiet australia day - I would've liked to have done something social but that's been hard because i have lost some friends, struggled to make new ones, but on balance I have been trying to re establish contact with other friends from the past.

I dunno what I want in life and I have more questions than answers. But I guess I am here still

I will see my psychologist soon for the first session of the year now that I have a new Mental health care plan.

I am trying to do my best and I get the feeling that it isn't enough maybe.

Yesterday I was very depressed. It's a hard time. That's all. 😕

[HamSolo01]

Hi all

Result in - job is a no deal. They give me really good feedback and placed me in the pool of future candidates. I don't wanna say too much about it due to anonymity.

It was a disappointment I wont lie.

My internship interview has gone to the next level and I have found a new place to write with so that's nice.

Study is harder than I thought. It turns out that the lecturers copy what's on the internet for lectures... I am really asking questions over the teaching style too. They seem disjointed and don't teach.

It really is a challenge for me not being from an IT background. But it wasnt a requirement it seems. Silly really. I have until next week to decide if it is for me.

Of not then there are other avenues in that field which I think would be less intense

My workplace is a hell. They treat people badly unless they cosy up to the boss. There is politics and gossip. There is toxic cultures. Rumours. Nepotism. I told my psych today about it and he said it sounds woeful. It is. I am not exaggerating. I don't do that. They were talking about new people starting there next week right beside me. They didn't even talk to me. Its the worst place. I am happy to have reduced my days. One person even had a dig at me for not knowing anything. Its atrocious and complaint to management wont change a thing.

I get treated so poorly at the place. Its a miracle I have a friend from there who knows my pain. She left to a better job fortunately. She deserves it. So do I.

Anyway ill leave it there

[HamSolo01]

Hi all

Anyone around?

Not the best lately

[HamSolo01]

So I came to work today and got some bad news

I am required at somewhere else next week. This is a place I went to about a year ago and was treated horribly.

I am really over the whole job and the way I get treated generally.

I don't see how my current job ca be justified

I am capable of so much more and I know it but I have nothing to show for it. Nothing to prove for it. This mismatch between where I am now and what I am capable of is doing my head in

[Ggrand]

Hi Hams...

Sorry your not feeling the best and your workplace sounds sounds horrible....Is there a chance in anyway that you could find something more suitable for you?....you really do deserve better then what your going through right now..

Hopefully or though I doubt it the people who were mean to you at the place you’re being sent to next week are not their anymore....

Kind thoughts Dear Hams..

Grandy..

[HamSolo01]

Hi Ggrabd and thanks for your supportive words

I can't change anything next week. Not without creating more of a problem than needed and compared to the one I am dealing with atm

I have heard there are new people there now so perhaps it is different. I don't know.

I wish I didn't have to find out. I wish I was doing something in line with my abilities.

I'm not. That's that. I feel rank and gross.

I have a meetup tonight which I will go to. It looks interesting.

I am really just over this whole charade

[HamSolo01]

Hi all

Some bad things happened today at work

basically a manager made a big deal about the fact i was uncomfortable there last time at that work station

It was incredibly off putting and I was upset by it

But I guess I wasn't surprised

Its hard to explain because I want to keep things anonymous.

But it was not pleasant.

[HamSolo01]

G'day all
Some updates.

So I was finally able to quit my job. I got a temp role elsewhere so I took that. It was all very quick. They told me about it over the phone and offered it. My details where in their system after I applied earlier this year.
I was keen to accept it. So I sent off my Resignation email. It was a good day that day.
Uni is going okay. I have got good results so far. I have another assessment on its way and I'm making a program. Its hard work but its a little bit addictive. I wont know for sure if that is a path I want to go down. Cybersecurity is more interesting and so is data science but I wont do either of them til next trimester.
At the moment I am watching swansea city play off against Barnsley. Hopefully Swansea win.
I am going along with life and things are looking up for the first time in a while

[geoff]

Hello HamSolo, good to hear back from you and all you can do is enjoy what you are currently doing as you have other options to consider you want to do.

Sometimes these other interests can become stronger over time or the alternative, something else may gain your interest, the best part is that you are now feeling better, but please keep us in the lieu.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[canonwart]

what an amazing achievement, you have built so much over the last few years.

[canonwart]

Hi there, glad to be here with you. I deserve a better job, this one makes me mad. I don't move a lot and get a lot of stress, my cholesterol level is so high that I need to take medicine and keep a diet. My workplace is horrible 😫 and I don't know what to do with that... Hope I can change something that year.