Need help, also want to help.

[Timmaye]

Hey new to this forum. Lived with one form of depression or another (depending on which doctor you ask on which day) since I was twelve. Was unfortunate enough to instill a core belief at 15 that there were many more cons than pro's to living and I should kill myself. I still can't shake that and battle it daily. I'm 32 now and have many coping strategies and alerts for how to fight the dark, that has kept me safe and for the most part sane-ish. I would like to help if I can. My most beneficial times in my life were not in a classroom but learning true torment and horror in places like a locked ward. I was blessed to visit such a place for a few weeks after a very close suicide attempt. Seeing how the mind can be turned into a true torture device humbled me as my condition's worst case was simply death, fairly mild in comparison to some people I met and befriended. I spent my time helping those around me in a way the staff could never have. I have survived some very bad times in my life and would like to find out if there is something I can do from what I've learnt that can help people feeling truly hopeless. Though I often leave not hope for myself, I challenge anyone to sit and have a conversation about the black hopeless despair with me and not feel at least a little more light at the end.

[geoff]

Hello Timmaye, what a powerful comment, and want to thank you so much for coming to the site and by posting and wanting to help, although you have had some awful periods in life, doesn't make anyone better or worse than someone else, as we know that this illness has some terrible consequences that each person has to struggle through in their life, and I'm so sorry you have had to try and cope with any of this.

Being able to talk through this ' black hopeless despair ', can actually help different people in many ways and certainly encourage any help and assistance you can contribute here on the forums.

Let's hope we can help you and that's what we endeavour to do.

My best.

Geoff.