Feeling lower than ever at the moment

[Bennyone]

To whoever is reading, I’m a 24 Yr old male, pretty big history of mental illness and had ongoing issues with depression and anxiety. I am feeling lower than ever at the moment after coming out of a long term relationship. I feel super alone at the moment as now I am coming home to an empty apartment every day and being surrounded by my own thoughts. I have friends but they don’t really understand and even if they do, I shut everyone out because I hate talking about what’s going on in my head. This is the first time I’ve ever posted on a forum or done this because I feel so hopeless. Just constantly breaking down in tears and feeling like there’s no point anymore doing this day in and day out. I’ve seen doctors and been medicated for Major Depressive Disorder and anxiety for the past 10 years, and just don’t have the motivation anymore to go talk to someone or see doctors again. Come from a broken home and only really have a relationship with my mum but she is going through a lot and as I said I just, I can’t even explain it, it’s like I know how toxic this is to deal with this on my own and not talk about it or do anything but I can’t bring myself to open up to anyone anymore and get help. In my relationships I’ve had partners be very upset because they think that one day they would lose me because of my mental illness, and that breaks my heart, but at the same time I also feel like I don’t see any other future for myself except to do this day by day until one day I can’t take it anymore. I don’t know how to help myself when it’s like I don’t want to be helped anymore??

[Sophie_M]

Hey Bennyone,

Wishing you a very warm welcome to these forums, we are so glad that you decided to join and open up about what you’re going through right now. We can hear a lot of pain in your post, and we want to acknowledge the courage and strength it would have taken you to reach out here today. You mentioned that you can’t bring yourself to open to open up to anyone and get help, but please know that by posting here to our community that you’ve already taken such a big and important step. We’re really sorry to hear that you’ve been struggling with depression and anxiety for quite some time now, and understand that things must be feeling particularly overwhelming to cope with after coming out of a long-term relationship. Many others reading here will be able to relate to feeling this way during moments in their lives too, and we hope that you can find some comfort in feeling less alone through this. We really do hope that you find this to be a safe space to continue opening up about your feelings and experiences, and our caring community are here to offer their kind words of support and advice to help you through this.

We understand that can be a really difficult process in finding the right support, and it can feel incredibly overwhelming to open up to others about how we truly feel inside. Perhaps it may be a helpful first-step to talk these feelings through with one of the friendly counsellors at our Support Service- they’re available to you anytime, day or night on 1300 22 4636, or also through webchat (1pm-midnight AEST) if you’d feel more comfortable chatting online: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport Our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) are also available 24/7 to talk things through whenever it’s all feeling like too much to cope with- please know that you never have to go through all of this on your own.

Our community are here for you Bennyone, and we hope that you can continue showing your strength in reaching out for the support you deserve.