Nearly six years, and I am still no better.

[Buzz54]

I have had serious depression issues over the last six years. Then I was borderline suicidal, at least I am past that, mosttimes.

Recently, it has got so bad that I am currently off work on a 3 month break. I had become unreliable at work experiencing anxiety. 

One theory was that my my medication was wrong. I think my head is clearer, but I am quite forgetful, regularly tired, and do things that I shouldn't, like visit dating sites and talking to other women around the world.

i have just about used all the free counselling thru Medicare I can get, I have no income but do not qualify for any assistance til end of August.

 i hope by sharing here, I can come to be more comfortable with my situation.

any help or suggestions appreciated.

beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Buzz54, thanks for your post.

It looks like you are going though a really difficult time and have been battling with depression and anxiety for some time now. You made mention of treatment through medication and counselling however you are about to run out of your Medicare rebated sessions. There are a range of other strategies that you could try to help alleviate your symptoms such as connecting with family and friends and trying online programs focused on supporting people with depression and anxiety. You can find the details of these strategies on our website here.

You mentioned that at times you are “borderline suicidal” and it sounds like you could really use some extra support around managing the overwhelming emotions that trigger these thoughts. If you are at risk of harming yourself it is important to get help immediately. You can do this by calling your local Mental Health Team. If you feel unable to keep yourself from acting on your thoughts about suicide this is an emergency and you need to call 000 (triple zero).

Self-care can be quite an important strategy given the emotional strain you can experience during this time and some useful things you can try to help you are:

• Stay connected to friends and family and use support groups
• Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
• Stay healthy – Eat healthy meals, exercise regularly, get a good night’s sleep and keep use of drugs and alcohol to a minimum.
• Make time to participate in enjoyable activities.

It is important that you take steps to keep yourself safe Buzz54. We encourage you to call the beyondblue Support Service on 1300 22 4636. We can help 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with counselling support, information and referrals.

Please continue to reach out for support and we hope you find some helpful responses here online.

[geoff]

dear Buzz, hi and thanks for coming to the site.

It still concerns me that you say you were borderline on being suicidal 'most times', but not that it's completely out of your mind, which does mean that if you have these feelings and I hope not, but you must then go to hospital or you can tell a family member or a friend and they can organise this, and what this will also do is for you to get some counselling there.

By having a 3 month break from work sounds to be a long time, but it's not really and will go quickly, so what this means is that your doctor has to check your medication, and I know with depression it's so easy just to sit back hoping that you will feel better, but in more cases than not, your mood won't improve by itself.

Your local community health centre can provide some counselling for you, or if and when you go to hospital then they can provide regular check ups for you.

From what I gather is that you feel lonely and would dearly love to have a partner and please correct me if I am wrong.

I hope that you can continue talking to us. Geoff.