Navigating depression

[JWA14]

This is my first time sharing thoughts on this site but having read several of the posts it confirms the need to talk through the thoughts and feelings floating around in our heads. I, like so many, have been through various levels of depression/anxiety for many years now. I've been on medication, seen psychiatrists and psychologists to varying degrees of success. Of late the pressures of this year from both running a business and in my personal life have found me veering back to my old thought patterns. Intense pressures at work along with the lack of a stable relationship and just recently an old friend and I seem to have ceased being friends, all inncuous enough but when layered on top of each other can really cloud ones world view with a very negative pall. I do keep myself active with both gym/ yoga and surf (weather permitting) even the simplest of things like a long walk does break the chain of negative thoughts. So in the end of the day it comes down to vigilance and even in the darkest of moments believing that there is a purpose and reason for carrying on. John

[Jo3]

Hi John

Thanks for sharing your story and for joining BB forum.

Can I ask? - in your darkest moment how do you get out of it? 

I am in one of those dark times right now and all I think of is how to s/harm; how to "disappear" from everyone in my life.

What pulls you up again?

I do yoga weekly and go for walks down the beach with the dog and that does help for a little while but that "thought" is still hanging over my head; it's like something dangling in front of me.

Jo

beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.
 

[geoff]

dear John, thanks so much for joining the site, because we all have different stories to relate back to others, and this is important not only for yourself, but also those who read your post, and we mustn't forget the many that just read all the posts but aren't able to reply, this can change over time, because they finally feel at last that they want to contribute, there is no pressure at all to do so.

When you say ' there is a purpose and reason for carrying on' makes me believe that you have been through depression, then recovered from it, but had many relapses, maybe I'm wrong.

I would really like to hear from you. Geoff.

[JWA14]

Jo,

thanks for your response, it really helps to know that these forums are here to give voice to our thoughts and feelings rather than keeping them inside.  

I know what you mean with the "though" that just stays with you like background noise. When things get dark, I try to do something different like yoga/gym or just get out and go for a walk as you do. My sister also suffers a similar condition so we do talk/email during these times. Sharing with others always dissipates the black feelings, so do that if you can. 

I just keep reminding myself that those moments will pass as they have before.

John

[JWA14]

Geoff,

I really appreciate your reply, times of depresion and anxiety do return to me, can have a year when I'm free of it but as is the case now these feelings have returned. My doctor has prescribed anti depressants and that takes the edge off along with doing the things I mentioned in the previous post. Forgot to say in the previous post that I've been to Psychiatrists that have worked with me on developing techniques to adjust my cognitive behaviour patterns and it does help, the trick is to maintain the discipline to practice it. 

John