My husband of 7 years (I’m 61) has become increasingly obsessed with misogynistic, anti feminist, anti climate science, homophobic discussion topics. Not a meal goes by with our family that he doesn’t introduce one of these topics and rant on until people leave the table or it becomes a horrible argument. When I state my point of view, usually defending the alternate view, he yells over me or anyone else at the table. Even when we are not in company, he argues with me, telling me he doesn’t give a shit for my opinion, or telling me I speak too loudly. All devices to stop me from speaking.
He is able to govern his opinions in the workplace usually, or with groups publicly, but he let’s fly with my children, friends and relatives. He’s turned some of my relatives off and my children and their partners seem to prefer being with their other family members. The antipathy people feel towards my husband is isolating me from family and friends as his wife and I think it’s contributing to my depression.
I’ve constantly been working since I was divorced 20 years ago and I’ve supported our family with my income while my husband has struggled with finding regular work. He suffered as a child with being sexually molested and also lack of affection from his mother which I think causes his underlying feelings.
He won’t get psychological help. I’ve suggested it many times and a few times demanded he do so to address his anger issues. I feel like my love for him is being eroded and I am depressed about my future with his resentment of women and how that impacts me, my daughter, my extended family and my friends.
Should I insist he gets help, or ignore his outbursts and do my own thing with others without him, or leave this marriage. I’m feeling so depressed, lonely and anxious.
