Depression

Depression affects people in Australia every day. Share your own story and learn about other member’s experiences with depression.

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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
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Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
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I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
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Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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she_is_trying I don't know where else to go...
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Depression really does come in waves. I have my good days and my bad, I am currently in the latter. I have been feeling very lonely and yet my thoughts seem louder than they usually are. I feel like a burden to a lot of people around me and I feel li... View more

Depression really does come in waves. I have my good days and my bad, I am currently in the latter. I have been feeling very lonely and yet my thoughts seem louder than they usually are. I feel like a burden to a lot of people around me and I feel like some of them are pulling away and I don't know why. I'm really insecure about my depression and anxiety, I just don't know how to open up to someone without them feeling like this is a "heavy" topic or that I'm burdening them. I've noticed how negative I've been lately and even I'm starting to get annoyed with myself. I haven't felt this way in years and I thought I had it all under control, I want to go back to therapy but the idea of talking to someone or socializing with new people is exhausting. I've recently disabled my Instagram account and thinking of just slowly disappearing, I can't seem to shake the feeling but I just want to disappear. Some days I honestly believe that I might, I might just really disappear and then I think of what would happen. When will they find me, who will make the call, how would they find me- ps: I live alone. On some nights I'll think that those thoughts were ridiculous cause I'm a wimp, I won't be able to do any of that. Then the self-hatred loop kicks in where I wish I was dead but I can't cause I'm too chicken and that I don't want to disappoint people around me but also is a disappointment already- it's a vicious cycle, really. I feel tired but I can't sleep, I want to be with people who I care about but I don't want to cling to them. My family is not in this country and they don't know what's happening nor do we have that type of relationship where we 'share'. My head is always heavy from the migraines and when I'm out I have sudden moments where I'm back to that dark place, that's when I tell people "I'm just tired". How to unload my thoughts without being a nuisance to those I care for? I've unloaded once and a few responded with "Just don't be sad" which honestly, made me feel even more worst. Some have helped and to ask for more help is selfish of me. Some can't take the intensity of the conversation and I don't blame them, It's not the lightest conversation. So, I guess that's why I came on to this forum. I hope someone reads this because honestly, I don't know where else to go...

Taylor94 I dont know what to do anymore.
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I have recently found out that i am pregnant, ive only been with my partner for roughly 5 months and we are engaged but we do love each other a lot and know that we wanna spend the rest of our lives together. And i am okay with this but the issue is ... View more

I have recently found out that i am pregnant, ive only been with my partner for roughly 5 months and we are engaged but we do love each other a lot and know that we wanna spend the rest of our lives together. And i am okay with this but the issue is that he has another daughter to a previous ex partner (i love this little girl, she is so amazing), his ex is very childish and spiteful towards me and my partner, and now that she know that i am pregnant it has gotten worse. She has asked me to not bath, change or dress her daughter, which i have respected but lately she seems to keep making comments that put me down and makes me feel like im not gonna be a good enough mother to my own child or hers and has been causing so much drama and conflict. I have tried to let it go and not let it get to me but since the pregnancy my GP had taken me off my anti-depressants and im starting to feel so low and hateful towards myself. My partner has been understanding and caring but everything is taking its toll on him too and i dont know what to do anymore or what the right decision is. We both have family dramas going on, he has to deal with his ex's verbal and emotional abuse (as she likes to use his daughter against him) and now with my mental health feeling like its declining fast, im left feeling like maybe this baby isnt a good idea but the thought of terminating is so heart breaking. I cant dicuss this with my family as they would not understand and i dont really have any friends i can confide in either. My partner said he will stand by and support whatever i choose but i know he wants this baby so much. I have no idea what the right move to make is and i feel so lost and alone, which is making my mental health worse...

Mr__Darcy An affliction masked and embraced as my personality.
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So here I am. A year ago i suspect many people would trade places with me but this assumption is no doubt in large part due to my ego. In my existential reflections its hard to picture my former self now. 33 years of narcissistic blissful ignorance c... View more

So here I am. A year ago i suspect many people would trade places with me but this assumption is no doubt in large part due to my ego. In my existential reflections its hard to picture my former self now. 33 years of narcissistic blissful ignorance came to a crescendo in February when I had a complete breakdown resulting in my eventual resignation from a CEO position for an NGO that landed in my lap 30 years too early. Id been exceedingly optimistic all my life and why wouldn't i be, everything always seemed to go my way. If i set my mind to something it would usually manifest and if it didn't id just change my perspective of the situation and be at peace. Cognitive dissonance in all its glory. Always a story to be told and everyone wanted to be around the boundless confidence that led me to what i thought was the perfect life. Travel, adventure, women, parties and a successful altruistic career to balance out my hedonistic behavior. What a crock of shit. I think only a few long term ex girlfriends knew the real me behind closed doors... doors I wouldn't even open. Erratic impulsive behavior coupled with bouts of depression are hard to hide from the people closet to you. So i pushed away the ones I loved so I could be left with the me I hated. Mental health disorder runs deep in my family and for me its Bi-Polar 2. Officially diagnosed last month but I've known for the longest time and just passed it off as my all or nothing personality. The undertones of self-loathing in this post are not because I have a mental health disorder but because iv'e lived my life ashamed of it. Too scared to be vulnerable to a stigma I've worked so hard to lift for others and in doing so I've let them down. Id like to acknowledge also that I've lived a very blessed and lucky life and reading the stories of others who have gone through much more than i can comprehend let alone make it out the other side has given me hope for the first time in a long time. Thanks.

JakeL74 Don't even know where to start
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I've gone from a married, baby-on-the-way, white picket fence yuppie type. Everything was on the rise, and then all it took for that to be taken away was a slippery road, a 73 year old driver and the love of my life choosing cocaine and company of ot... View more

I've gone from a married, baby-on-the-way, white picket fence yuppie type. Everything was on the rise, and then all it took for that to be taken away was a slippery road, a 73 year old driver and the love of my life choosing cocaine and company of other men to cope instead of me. She became violent and left me with external scars, but the real scars are the ones that lay strong in my head. 2 years and two suicide attempts later, I feel like I'm fighting a war I never asked to be a part of; sifting through a void where my only escape is three bottles of merlot + each night. I was good for a while. I'm 6 foot 3 and was gaunt, 85 kilos. I hit the gym and HARD to let out the hate I felt for myself, never leaving until I was in agony. Ate and ate, got up to a good looking 105. Now, the bottles are back, Im down to 97kgs, not eating, maybe going to the gym once a week, insecure about my relationship to a woman who is utter perfection, more than I could ever feel worth of having. I was lucky to get a new job since COVID. I have everything that I could need to support me... and all I want is for the book to come to a close. I feel ungrateful for the opportunity/second chance life has given me, like I'm pissing on the embers that keep the light on.

Guitarboy I'm down to 2 symptoms, almost there..
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Hi everyone, so my concoction of medications mixed with recent TMS treatment left me with the following symptoms. It's just hard when everyone at the treating team thinks I'm doing well, when I tell them of my symptoms. My current symptoms are as fol... View more

Hi everyone, so my concoction of medications mixed with recent TMS treatment left me with the following symptoms. It's just hard when everyone at the treating team thinks I'm doing well, when I tell them of my symptoms. My current symptoms are as follows. * I can't feel any emotions, just blunt, flat, numb, dull, no emotions at all. * Social isolation because I don't enjoy going out and everything feels like an effort. I don't even know why I'm writing this right now, just wanted to share my progress with the rest of the world.

Carlos_C Help
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I wouldn’t say I’m necessarily depressed what I would say Is I’m 21 years old and since the age of 12 I’ve had terrible health. When I was 12 I had Lyme disease until I was 18 as I went from doctor to doctor and no one could tell me why I was so sick... View more

I wouldn’t say I’m necessarily depressed what I would say Is I’m 21 years old and since the age of 12 I’ve had terrible health. When I was 12 I had Lyme disease until I was 18 as I went from doctor to doctor and no one could tell me why I was so sick until luckily I was able to one day and get the help I needed. Then when I was 20 I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer, even though it has a high survival rate now I have to spend the rest of my life worrying about it’s return which I have worried about everyday for the past year and a half since my surgery. Now I also have been diagnosed with chronic inflammatory response syndrome. Which is caused by mold/ Lyme and your body isn’t able to clear the toxins due to a certain gene. I feel like I will never feel better at this point. I’ve been sick for the past 10 years and haven’t had a day I can remember when I felt ok. The only positive is I’m alive which I’m very very great full for. I just am very scared as I’m always sick or they are finding new things wrong with me.

dean_TSO Nothing
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Depression and desperation it’s like looking into into a bottomless pit that drawing you in and you wondering if you just let it take you the pain will finally be gone and maybe your come out the other end into another world we’re there is no more pa... View more

Depression and desperation it’s like looking into into a bottomless pit that drawing you in and you wondering if you just let it take you the pain will finally be gone and maybe your come out the other end into another world we’re there is no more pain so do you let it take you or turn your back and face your demons ?

doonzy Wish I could switch my emotions on
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Hi all Having a bit of a tough Trott Atm. Struggling to do anything really. How do you tell doctors and physcologits how you feel when even you don't know. I have gotten to the point where I have stopped going because it feels like I'm just broken an... View more

Hi all Having a bit of a tough Trott Atm. Struggling to do anything really. How do you tell doctors and physcologits how you feel when even you don't know. I have gotten to the point where I have stopped going because it feels like I'm just broken and no-one can fix this. How can I motivate myself to keep going when I don't feel that I'm ever going to find out how to manage this. They are looking into alexithymia still but I' just don't know. Maybe I have just never been happy in life and this is just me. Does anyone ever get this weird clicking sound that's inside your head that only yourself can hear and it's like an explosion and goes off at weird times sometimes multiple times in an hour then not for a day or so. Anyways sorry I'm just trying to write what's on my mind Keep up the fight Doonzy

Scooter321 Getting a handle on my depression
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Hi everyone A few months ago I was having a really hard time. Had no self drive or motivation like I used to. Also had low mood, trouble sleeping and drinking. It all came to a head in August that broke me. Have made some progress but feel that I nee... View more

Hi everyone A few months ago I was having a really hard time. Had no self drive or motivation like I used to. Also had low mood, trouble sleeping and drinking. It all came to a head in August that broke me. Have made some progress but feel that I need to get some more help. Am seeing a GP and utilising some online resources. GP has written a mental health plan and has been really supportive. Family not so. my biggest concern is when I come across a trigger, and being able to cope when that happens. Would love to put in place positive habits now that will last. . Am on my own in this, so finding support would be good. Just my thoughts today ...... thanks

Slippers I feel hollow inside
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I feel hollow inside, things that I used to enjoy such as some tv programs no longer give me joy , I feel like I am at the end of my tether. I spent my time inside the house when I am not working separating myself from the world The reason I feel thi... View more

I feel hollow inside, things that I used to enjoy such as some tv programs no longer give me joy , I feel like I am at the end of my tether. I spent my time inside the house when I am not working separating myself from the world The reason I feel this way, my Mother who is 91 recently went into a respite centre, initially it looked like it was going to be a temporary 4 week stay but now she is there permanently. She is and after some thought I agree with my family that she is in the right place. She has fallen over a couple of time in the past year and there is evidence that she wasn’t showering herself or changing her clothes daily. As the move to the respite centre seems permanent there is talk to sell the family home (in which I still live in) to have enough money to pay for Mums stay at respite. This is selfish but I am not thinking of my Mum but of myself. I do have some money but at 48 I only have about 15k saved in the entire world. I don’t know where I will finish up. I have sent form to the DVA to ask about myself becoming a protected person who can stay in the house, Mum is on a DVA pension. I sent the forms yesterday by express post and I sent the same forms by fax today. I hope the response will yes from the DVA but there is a chance it will be no (I’m scared to be honest) I have 3 sisters but I feel I cannot talk to them about everything simply because I do not trust their intentions. I cannot tell Mum either, she has short term memory loss so any conversations with her would upset her and make me no wiser. I feel I have no one I can talk to. One of my sisters treated me like an idiot last night when I told her that the DVA had no email address to send the forms through to them, I told her that I had express post them. She didn’t think I had done the wrong thing and I spent half an hour on Facebook yesterday after telling my sisters time and time again that I had sent through the forms, I got the impression that I hadn’t done the right thing, and it made me feel useless. My sister spoke to me tonight and suggested that I go and see the doctor and get some anti-depressants. I am trying to put distance between myself and my sisters as sometimes their attitude is venomous and toxic. I wasn’t even going to send this message through initially because it would seem like I am having a whinge. I have been verbally fighting with my sisters over a number of years and I am at the end of my tether. Apart from my work I add no value as far as I can see.