Dear New Member~
Have a warm welcome here to the Forum. I'm glad you came here as it looks like there are things you are finding very difficult in life at the moment.
You said you were insecure abut your body, which you should think about getting help with (see below). It is not so much your body, it is the impression and unhappiness you have that can do the harm.
That insecurity together with hassles over your girlfriend has lead you to where you are talking about taking you life.
I think you are mistaken in thinking that girl was in fact your friend. In a good relationship each person wants to look after the other, not yell at them. Maybe you need someone more understanding and caring.
Being "trying to live but I’m so god dam close to giving up" is a dangerous place to be, I've been there and at the time could not make myself feel better. It was only after living like that for far too long I sought out help, which made a big difference. I'm now confident and lead a much happier life.
So can I suggest you seek assistance too? If you can book an extended consultation wiht a GP and explain how you are feelng that can be the start. I agree it is hard to talk about these things, but I found it well worth it.
If you don't want a face to face visit then there are other choices:
If you are under 25
there is the excellent Kids Help Line (1800 55 1800)
If you are over 25 then
our own 24/7 help support (1300 22 4636)
Both have phone contact and also web-chat.
If you would like to come back and visit again that would be great
Croix
