My adult Sons depression and diagnoses of bipolar

[Find_hope]

My Son who is in his early thirties has fallen into very deep depression. Nearly 3 months ago he was having delusions. And was exhibiting some psychotic behaviour. For someone who has worked hard since he moved to the city. He has never shown any signs of anything like this. After being admitted to a hospital he was given high does of medications. His doctor didn't give him a chance to describe what happened properly. I believe five minutes or so. He has anew psychiatrist now and another hospital admission. And changes to medications. He has now been diagnosed with Bipolar, which has really shocked and upset him. Before his first hospital admission he wasn't as depressed. Now it's overwhelming him and he says he can't try anymore. He has now will he says. There maybe a new type of medication prescribed.his psychiatrist is on holidays. So here is back living with us his parents on a rural property away from friends. He's feeling like he's in prison and everything is hopeless. He left he's job and sold his home just prior to the psychotic episodes. I'm not sure if the reality of this triggered the Bipolar. Or that he had used some recreation drug during that time. Again something he had never done. He says he has no future and regrets leaving his job. He has also had a relationship breakup three years ago. At that time he suffered depression. He worked so hard to get back on his feet. He also suffered depression 7 years ago after another relationship breakup. I am making sure he is eating and sometimes I can get him to walk. He can't read a book or listen to music as he said it makes him feel sick. He can't understand why all his friends are happy and have everything going well for them. He wonders why he's been punished. He does have feelings that his father abandoned him emotionally when he was growing up. His father argued a lot with me his Mum. He says he feels abandoned as he should have realised what his yelling was doing to him as a child. He also feels abandoned by the women in the relationships he had. I give him all my support and love. His father does too. But is oblivious to the harm he may have caused to our Son. I try to encourage him and tell him everything will be ok. After nearly 3 months he has lost hope. There have been many medication changes. Nothing is helping with his depression yet. Can anyone tell me how to help him

[white knight]

Hi, welcome.

Thankyou for a very good post. You explained your sons situation well.

I'm 63yo, bipolar, depression and dysthymia.

The very best you can do now imo is through his psychiatrist find the right medication for him. So persist with that.

Relationship counseling beywern the three of you would be beneficial. Why? Because as a teenager they get things distorted. My daughter is bipolar, ptsd and is 30yo. She had recently been upset that no one took her to get mental health support as a child. I had to explain to her that parents arent mind readers, if it isnt obvious then usually you think all is ok. We spoke for hours. She's ok now about that. Try relationship counseling.

Distractions are good. Put in the search bar at the top

Distractions and variety

Medication is a whirlpool

The timing of motivation

He helped me for 25 years- Maharaji

My last suggestion is, if you havent got a pet then consider buying one?

Oh, nearly forgot- he can attend motivation lectures, read up on positive thinking and remind him that 1/ his stay in the country is temporary until his health improves b/ his depression and mood swings are reigned in over time and he'll be truly amazed at his feelings when it happens.

Sensitivity is also an issue. Relationship breakups are a danger zone. They take their toll so he can take protective precautions

Use search

Fortress of survival

Fortress of survival part 2

Depression, a ship on the high seas

I hope that helps.

TonyWK

[Find_hope]

Thank you for replying to my post. Did you or your daughter ever have severe depression as well. Does this go with the bipolar. He doesn't think he has any hope of getting better. I reassure him all the time. I try to distract him. Today he is just laying on the couch with his eyes shut. His mind thinking about the mistakes he's made. Regrets. And feeling like he has no future. Should I ask him about his thoughts or just leave him be?

[Find_hope]

I posted a reply but I can't see it. I hope you seen it

[white knight]

hi

yes, depression very much so.

The bipolar "swing" is one side depression the other side hypomania the middle normality. As it swings from one to another normal is a short period in between. Medication slows that swing down away from its extremities towards more normal time. When the depression lessens it is much less often experienced. This is when your son will improve remarkably. It's exactly what happened to me and my sister. Suicide rates are as high as 15-20% sadly so keep an eye on him. My brother and uncle passed on that way, my sister and I attempted many years ago. Just be aware. Talk closely to his psych regularly until stable.

if you can get him reading those threads they will educate him a lot, one of the real needs of people with any mental illness is to understand it.

Regrets are a bad place to be. search

do you cry over spilt milk?

talking to men- some tips

I hope he can see better soon that he will regain control. Depression is terrible. But he has you. You are a beautiful caring mother that is battling the tide of his illness. Hang in there. Let the experts do their thing with treatment.

A hand on the shoulder is worth a dozen "are you alright?"

TonyWK

[Find_hope]

Hi

Thank you for talking with me. I do keep an eye on him.

Over his childhood years he liked to try his best. One sport at time. He never showed signs of mood swings other than in any other child. Since his breakups I have noticed him to get a cranky sometimes. I really didn't see Bipolar. He was depressed after the breakups, but no highs. Isn't that what Bipolar is like. Highs and lows. He was usually somewhere in the middle. I still wonder if the recreational drugs made this happen. Triggered bipolar or was it a psychotic episode from the drug. Until just around that time he had never used anything like this. I wonder if he is getting the right treatment. As I think I said it's been nearly three months and his depression hasn't improved. He thinks the psychiatrist in the first hospital gave him so much medication it caused caused the depression. Th depression only started after the medication started and was changed several times.

Thank you again

[Find_hope]

Why is my Son still severely depressed. It's been near three months. He has has several medication changes

[KR66]

There is life after diagnosis for me the change began when I found CBT cognetive behavioural therapy.

Strengthening the automatic thoughts is key to feeling better CBT is so simple yet consuming.

The meds help but with CBT I use the smallest dose. It is the complimentary ducks gut.

[Seraphina6]

Hi Find Hope

My 27 year old son is bipolar. He was diagnosed in 2012. He was away at Uni and addicted to a recreational drug which triggered his first psychotic episode. From there he spiralled down into a deep depression and came to live with my late husband and I for 2 years. He has been hospitalised 3 times. He suffered terrible psychotic episodes. His manic phases were really bad too. Then the depression. We found out that even though he told us he’d stopped using the drugs he hadn’t and so it made things worse.
When he went to eventually live on his own it didn’t go well. He fell into the wrong crowd. As a child he was always a loner. He was bullied through school and never fitted in. He was a big baby and grew to be a large boy.. very tall and solid. So he stood out. He didn’t like that. So he was easily led because he desperately wanted to fit in.
He was close to my late husband (not his Dad) and when he died in 2014 it hit him hard. I moved closer to my parents and my son came to visit one weekend.. he was having a psychotic episode. I had to have him hospitalised. He ended up living with me for a year.
It was tough. He wouldn’t leave his room most of the time. He would just play video games. He kept forgetting to take his meds. He kept wanting to bring girls home.
And I was dealing with my own mental illness. I have bipolar II .
I tried to support him as much as I could but I don’t think looking back I did the right things.
I pushed too hard. And it made it worse. Instead of realising that I could only just be there for him when he needed me. And listen, and advise when asked.
The rest he needed to figure out.
Eventually he moved away to live with my daughters. He was up and down. His Dad my ex- husband is good and was there for him as were his sisters.
He’s now met a wonderful woman , they’ve been together for 2 years. Unfortunately she is not well and currently in hospital. But he’s there for her. His meds are sorted. He sees his psychiatrist every three months. He’s working full time and he’s sleeping and eating well and no recreational drugs. And he’s happy.

So there is hope. You need to hang in there. It can be a long journey as it was for my son.

Seraphina