Lost & I don’t know what to do

[Billie123]

Around 18 months ago my husband & I separated. He decided to leave the state with our children. And at this point in time I wasn’t in any position mentally or financially to fight it. It’s be tough being so far away from my kids so I made the tough decision to move closer to them. I managed to secure a good job & friends offered for me to stay with them whilst I got set up. A month ago the move happened & I’ve been struggling ever since & I’ve sunk in to a massive depression which resulted in me isolating myself today & not being able to go to work. I’m struggling with my job & I feel like I’m not getting it - I spoke with my boss & he is happy with where I’m at so obviously it’s all in my head. I haven’t been able to find decent affordable accommodation & my friends are sick of me staying with them so asked me to leave. So now I’m staying in a caravan park whilst I try to find something permanent. In the last 4 months the contact with my children has lessened & over the weekend my eldest treated me so poorly & I am feeling so hurt. I don’t think they want me around in their life. And I’ve found out my ex has a girlfriend & I’m so scared my kids won’t want me around any more. That she will take my place as their mother or she will be a better mother than me. I can’t dven talk to my kids st the moment - I’m so hurt & isolated.

I feel ao overwhelmed & lost. I don’t know what to do next. I can’t afford to keep staying in the caravan park. I can’t sleep. I’m not hungry. I cry all the time. I feel like I’m letting everyone down. I just want to go to sleep & never wake up.

[LavenderTea]

Hey Billie,

Thanks for posting. It sounds like you're having a really hard time.

First of all, I want to highlight some positives that I picked up in your post. You clearly care about your children, and are working hard to try and be there for them. You've secured yourself a good job, and it sounds like you're doing well in that position also. AND you've come to the forums, so it's clear that you do want to try and make things better for yourself... this is amazing.

I can just imagine how hurt you would be, and it's good to take some time for yourself to sort though these emotions. It is also important to remember that a separation and moving states may have had an impact on your children too, and the fact that your eldest treated you poorly may just indicate that he/she may be struggling to cope with the changes.

With regards to your current living situation, it might be helpful to seek out some help from places like Red Cross services. I've provided a link below which has some useful information about services that might be able to help you with living arrangements. ( https://www.redcross.org.au/get-help/community-services/homelessness-services ).

It's important that, throughout all of this, you try to be kind to yourself. It sounds like you're worrying a lot and that you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself, and often when people do this, it makes things worse. Try and practice self-care, taking some time to switch off and relax, working on fixing your sleep, and allowing yourself time to enjoy the little things.

Hope this helps.

LT.

[baet123]

Hi Billie,

Thanks for posting and sharing your situation with us. That is super brave of you and coming to these forums shows you want to get better which is great!

It seems like the last 18 months has been super tough for you and I feel for you. LT made some great points above and I to commend your actions. It seems that you are being very proactive with your job and your children and you should be proud of that. If you are up to it, I would visit your GP and speak with him about your situation and he should be able to provide you with assistance either in the form of medication or a mental health plan and refer you to a psychologist or a health professional who is able to assist you with a few problems that you are having.

Depending on the state you live in and the services around you, there are a few providers that may be able to assist your housing situation:

https://www.womenshousingcompany.org.au/applicants

Link2homelessness (NSW residents only) -1800 152 152

https://www.missionaustralia.com.au/services?categoryIDs%5B%5D=191 - Just enter your postcode on the dropdown box on the right side of the page 🙂

https://www.housingpathways.nsw.gov.au/ (NSW only).

If you feel comfortable posting the state you live in I can provide more links that will provide you with service providers which you are able to access there services.

Children can be very cruel sometimes and say things they don't mean and do things that they regret in the future so maybe keep that in mind. You are not letting anyone down. The way your fighting and trying to be closer to your kids and be there for them is inspiring and shows great character.

Just a few things to remember is to eat well, try exercise as much as possible and get some fresh air, avoid caffeine and artificial sources of sugar and get enough sleep.

Try remain as positive as possible and keep us posted.

All the best.

Baet123