Depression and anxiety taking over my life

[TommoNovak]

Hi all, I am a 20 year old male who has been struggling with social anxiety and very low confidence which began sometime between the age of 15 and 16. I believe that my condition is also linked to the fact that I have matured at a slower rate, which has made me feel like I’m lagging behind what was expected at the particular time in educational and academic terms and socially, due to not displaying generic forms of behaviour matching the majority of people around me (not engaging in partying, drinking, smoking or visibly blending in to pop culture). The frustration of being caught in the clutches of this miserable condition is also not being able to pinpoint as to which extent is it due to my genetic makeup or social expectations that a person should behave in a certain way in order to be accepted. This condition has stopped me from progressing in to finding a direction as to which path I should follow career wise and has made me socially very isolated. The fact that the digital age has made it so readily available to observe the success and progress of others also doesn’t help. I find it very difficult to approach girls, as the fear of rejection and not knowing what to say or running out of things to say is stronger than need for human connection. I find myself always on the outside observing others having fun and having intimate relationships, which only amplifies and encourages my decline of confidence and sends me spiralling in to entrapment of this vicious circle.


Another huge contributor to the position I find myself in at this time is the fact that I did not have a constant male role model in my life. I was unfortunately a kid who essentially grew up with an absent father and as years progressed, the connection with my dad became more fragmented due to highly complex set of events. It is very difficult to talk about details on here but I would really appreciate if anybody here could suggest a psychologist they have personally benefited from or have known other people who have found help and resolution to their problems. I know there are many options available however I would be grateful for a point of reference from someone who has had good success in finding their way out of darkness. 


Thanks.

[baet123]

Hi TommoNovak,

Welcome to the forums. Thanks for posting and sharing your situation with us. That is extremely challenging for someone to do and you are extremely brave and courageous for doing so!!!!

What your experiencing is extremely common and is nothing to be ashamed about and is quite normal. Many people experience the challenges you are going through and don't reach out to support services so that is awesome that you want to improve and get better.

Have you ever seen any health professionals and told them about what your experiencing? That is something I would recommend you do because it helped me and I was in a very similar situation to you. See your GP and if your comfortable talking to him about how you feel then this could be extremely beneficial.

You may also try other services including Headspace - https://headspace.org.au/headspace-centres. They have great staff there and will approach your situation using a holistic intervention method.

I guess what you are experiencing is extremely normal and common and million feel the same way (myself included). The fact you are sharing your story with us is amazing! I hope to here from you again.

All the best.

Baet123