Looking for advice for overcoming feelings of depression

[Lisa1989]

Hi, I am 26 years old. I have not been officially diagnosed with depression, but identify with a lot of its symptoms. I have problems with yo yo dieting and binge eating, to the point where it sometimes makes me ill. On the weekends I don't feel like doing anything but going to bed or watching TV. I have a job that can sometimes be stressful and it gets to me so much that I become a blubbering mess! 

I am married, have a new, beautiful house, and a pretty good job. I shouldn't feel the way I do. My husband tries to make me feel better and tries to understand it but mostly it just makes him frustrated and helpless. In turn this makes me feel guilt for bringing him down with me.

I have seen two different psychologists, each time helping me to deal with different issues. They both suggested that I take up a new hobby. But each time I think of doing it I have no motivation.

I don't want to feel like this anymore. I would really appreciate some advice on how to not allow depression to take hold. 

[shyviolet79]

Hi Lisa 😊

Pone of the things that stands out to me in your post here is how stressful your job sounds... Is it possible for you to look into getting a different job? I know this may not be possible, and I don't mean to make it sound so simple when it probably wouldn't be... I suppose I can just hear how much stress it is causing you... Alternatively, would it be possible for you to have a chat with your employer about cutting back your workload? Or doing a different role? 

I feel for you in regards to your struggles with yo yo dieting and binging.... I know how much angst and stress eating issues can cause.... I have struggled with an eating disorder for many years, and felt very out of control because of it... I'm guessing your struggles here must be upsetting you too? 

As my counsellor would say, let go of the word 'should'... There is no right or wrong way for a person to be when it comes to mental health.... You may have a great life, but that's not to say that you aren't still under stress... Depression and anxiety can strike anyone at any time ❤️ 

I wish I had better advice to give you, but I search for ways to prevent depression from taking over my life too.... The one thing I will suggest is that maybe a visit to your GP to speak about this might be helpful? Aswell as going for a walk each day, getting enough sleep and enjoying those tv shows you mentioned that you like 🙂 Sometimes it's the simplest things that help the most, once you force yourself into a routine (I know it's hard to do that with zero motivation) 

Hang in there, 

Chantell

[Lisa1989]

Hi Chantell,

Thank you for the advice, it is much appreciated and helpful. I have looked at other employment but am planning on starting a family soon. My current employer has already shown support once I am ready to start a family. I would like to go back to my old role however it would mean someone losing their job. I have spent a long time studying and I do mostly enjoy my work, I think I get so stressed because I am still new to the role. I am going to stick it out a bit longer and see if I can handle it a bit better.

Psychologically I treat eating as something to look forward to and have taught myself not to think of the consequences. I do get to a point where I say enough is enough, but it doesn't last long. I either eat too much or starve myself. It is such a struggle to find balance. 

That is true, no one has the perfect life without stress and disappointment. I just need to work on not letting the stress side of it affect me so much. 

I have booked myself in to see my GP next week as he is very popular and hard to see. My husband suggested seeing someone else but he is the only one I trust to point me in the right direction. 

At the moment I feel like my mind has detached itself from my body. In my mind, I am so motivated to do all of these things but my body just won't co-operate. I am sure it will get better as time goes on.

Thanks again Chantell for responding and making me realise that I am not the only one. I am definitely taking your advice on board and going to take it one step at a time.

 Lisa.

[shyviolet79]

Hi Lisa 😊

Well done for being able to focus on the positives to your work situation! It sounds like you have worked and studied very hard to get yourself to the position where you are currently... I really hope, in time, your new role will start to feel much less stressful for you ❤️ 

I completely understand what you are saying in regards to your eating struggles! I have spent much of the past 24 years treating food as either a reward or restricting myself from it as a punishment.... It is very hard to find the balance, isn't it? 

I think you made the best decision by waiting to see the GP you feel the most comfortable with... It is so important to be able to trust your Dr, especially when it comes to talking about personal issues like your mental health... I have seen many over the years, and a bad (unhelpful) consultation used to set me back quite badly... 

It sounds like you are quite run down physically? Your body is trying to let you know that you need to take a break every now and then, have a little time to unwind before moving on to the next task... Fatigue can also be a symptom of depression, as you may already know, and I'm sure your GP will discuss this with you too... Sleep and rest is so important when you are feeling stressed ❤️

I wish you lots of luck for your Dr appt next week! Good on you for making the appt 🙂 That takes courage.... In the meantime, keep reaching out on here if you need to chat, okay? Or you can always call the beyondblue support line, which should be listed at the top of the site.... 

Take care, 

Chantell 

[foxandbear]

Hello Lisa,

 It can be almost as difficult for the person married to the one suffering as it is for the sufferer. I know my partner tries to console me and say postive things but I just feel like I am sabotaging my relationship and have run out of people to talk to... You sound like you have every reason to be happy aside from your job... What sort of job is it? Have you considered taking a couple of weeks of and perhaps finding a nice get away for yourself to help clear your head? All i want to do is escape to an island for 2 weeks and just have some time away. Thinking of you and sending you my best wishes, Kate. 

[Lisa1989]

Hi Chantell,

 Thank you for your kind words. I actually managed to get an appointment this afternoon with my preferred GP. Will be glad to talk to him and see what my options are.

Thank you for your advice and support, it will not be forgotten 🙂

 Lisa

[Lisa1989]

Hi Kate,

I agree, it definitely has been hard on my husband. I think because he struggles so much to know what to do. I have had feelings like that before but always keep in mind that my husband loves me and the fact that he is trying to understand what I am going through. 

Its Accounts Payable and Office Manager at a small business. Cash flow is always an issue and being inexperienced can make it overwhelming. I have booked a two week holiday to New Zealand in November. Its quite a while away but its the only time of year my work isn't really busy.

I am hoping that my GP will be able to refer me to someone to talk to. I have seen a psychologist before and it has helped. Although I have never been this bad before! 

 Good luck with your issues, I hope you are able to get the support that you need. Thank you for the advice and kind wishes, it is very much appreciated 🙂

 Lisa

[Lisa1989]

Hi Kate,

I agree, it definitely has been hard on my husband. I think because he struggles so much to know what to do. I have had feelings like that before but always keep in mind that my husband loves me and the fact that he is trying to understand what I am going through. 

Its Accounts Payable and Office Manager at a small business. Cash flow is always an issue and being inexperienced can make it overwhelming. I have booked a two week holiday to New Zealand in November. Its quite a while away but its the only time of year my work isn't really busy.

I am hoping that my GP will be able to refer me to someone to talk to. I have seen a psychologist before and it has helped. Although I have never been this bad before! 

 Good luck with your issues, I hope you are able to get the support that you need. Thank you for the advice and kind wishes, it is very much appreciated 🙂

 Lisa

[Neil_1]

Dear Lisa

Welcome to Beyond Blue and it’s great that you’ve had some really wonderful responses to you.

Hope you don’t mind me chipping in here as well.   I’m very pleased to hear about how you’ve booked a holiday … two weeks in NZ, sounds amazing.  Yes, November is a while off yet, but it’s booked and you’ve got that to look forward too.  Having something like that can be very beneficial, and you know that as the year goes on, that time is lessening to when you’ll be going.

Did I also hear that you are hoping to start a family at some stage?  That’s another big positive for you (and your husband).  That is a super exciting time and with all that comes with that.

Just with your work … is it possible that if you are feeling stressed or a bit overwhelmed with it, that you are able to talk to your supervisor (or boss) to discuss this with them?   Or to possibly find out how they think you are going?   Oftentimes in these situations, we could be doing our job and worrying that things are getting on top of us, however, when we ask, you find out that all is good and that there was no need for unnecessary worry in the first place.  Maybe, an option … to ask, if you felt comfortable in doing so.

I read also how you said that either your psych or your husband both offered suggestions for hobbies or activities for you to try … and while that is great, maybe this didn’t get you that excited, because they weren’t things that really jumped out at you?

Can you think back to a few years ago where you did things, perhaps after hours or on weekends … any sporting activity or other kind of activity, that you enjoyed?  If so, is there any option for trying to get involved with something like that again?

I did also want to speak a little about food, but I might leave that for my next post.

I do hope I haven’t rambled too much and that something was of benefit to you.

Kind regards,

Neil

[Lisa1989]

Hi Neil,

Thank you for your advice and positive words, very helpful 🙂 That's true, maybe I should set up a countdown to the trip, might lighten me up a bit. 

Yes my husband and I would like to start a family soon. I just hope that I can cope with it all, just trying to focus on how wonderful it is to have children. 

I have spoken to my work before about it getting to me, so much so that I have become emotional which I feel pretty bad about. They have reinforced that the issues are not my problem nor my fault. All I can do is my best in my role and give advice. Anything outside of that I need not worry about.

Growing up I was never sporty and or did any extra curricular activities. Something that I have regretted. I have spent most of my life at school or studying. I worked so hard on it that I forgot to have a life! As a result I have lost friends because I never really wanted to go out. I am quite fond of animals, I used to volunteer at the RSPCA but I tended to get a little too attached to the animals. So maybe that's something I could look into doing again.

 Lisa