Just trying to keep on the road to recovery

[Rust200]

I am new to this but here how i found my self where i am today about three years ago at work i was a first responder to a heart attack victim unfortunately the person passed on in front of me an i have never felt so alone in all my life as i went for help to attempt to resuscitate them but it was not to be affter the events i did not reach out for help i chose to hold in how i felt a drank heavily for a while late last year i final reached out an got help for the night where i would relive the event over an over some how blaming my self for somthing i had no control over in the end i was diagnosed with ptsd depression an anxiety wich are thankful under control most of the time but it been a hard road to recovery to any one who feels there alone or no one cares reach out people do i was hugely surprised by the support i have received from family freinds an my work no one laugh at me like i feared it was nothing but carrying an support so please take that first step its so hard but worth it

[quirkywords]

Rust200

Welcome to the forum, and thanks for writing a helpful and honest first post.

You have shown how it can difficult it can be after witnessing something traumatic.

You have shown what you did that didn't work and how you finally reached out for help and were surprised by the help you go and how people took you seriously.

Thanks for sharing your story which will help others reading your post.

Quirky

[Billyc]

Hi Rust,

I can’t imagine the ordeal you went through, I saw my grandmother lifeless at hospital one night saying goodbye, but I don’t think that’s quite the same as trying to save somebodies life and not succeeding.

We are our own hardest critics.. on one level it keeps us driven, on another we are the reason of failure...

mom not going to tell you to stop blaming yourself, I’m sure you have enough people telling you that.

i will say this though,

your thread does not have a single punctuation in it. Not a single full stop, Comer, nor exclamation mark,

may I ask? Were you drunk when you write this? It’s ok if you were.. as you did mention you’ve been drinking a bit,

short term it might help you forget, longer term consequences might be approaching so I’m jut throwing it out there, be safe, and look after yourself, I might be wrong aswell,

all the best

[Rust200]

Billyc

No i was not drinking unfortunately my ability to use grammar is not that great.

But i do appreciate your thoughts though thanks

[Rust200]

Thanks Quirky

For your words its greatly appreciated to hear from others in the community. The understaing of my situation i hope it dose help otheres

[Rust200]

In some great news!

It appears that i have turned the coner an my recovery is going well.

It has not been easy but with medical help love an support from family and friends.

Has made all the difference in my situation have even stoped drinking wich for me an mabey o others will help.

All i really want to say to others out there is your not alone an people do care

[Rust200]

Billyc

Now that my head is in a better place i like to take a moment to share this thought with u.

I think that it is sad that you had to see your grandmother like that and it is just a painful as what i experienced possible even more so.

i would also once again like to thank you for reaching out to me in one of my darkest hours it meant a lot to me that both you self an Quirky where willing to understanding wich what i need an did not know so thankyou