Do you ever get lonely even when there are people around you? Do you
feel as if you want to be alone, but know that it will make your
depression build up? How do you deal with it? I find that lately I want
to cry, for no particular reason, I feel low...
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Do you ever get lonely even when there are people around you? Do you
feel as if you want to be alone, but know that it will make your
depression build up? How do you deal with it? I find that lately I want
to cry, for no particular reason, I feel low, I feel as if no one cares,
the black dog circles waiting for his moment to jump and hold me down. I
am asked by my daughter if everything is alright, and I say oh yes, I'm
just a bit tired. I dont know how to explain it to her, and that makes
me feel bad. My two grandsons aged 5 and 10 make me smile, but it's
hard, and I try to be """normal""" for them. I try hard for everyone. I
have forgotten how to care for myself, and i really cant be bothered if
the truth be known. I have no friends, so dont do coffee mornings or
have someone to chat with and pass the time of day. The ones I had didnt
understand my mental illness and slowly pulled away. I find my being
alone, which I once enjoyed, I am started to loathe, but I dont want
people. I am in a catch 22, like the mouse in a wheel. I feel like I am
standing on the edge of a giant black abyss, perpetually looking down,
wanting to step off, but not wanting to at the same time, something and
I dont know what is holding me back. My depression runs my every waking
moment, and my nights too, not allowing me to sleep, creating chaos in
my head, questions - no answers, sadness, upset, anxiety, panic,
negativity, no matter how tired I am, it keeps me awake. I dont want to
give in to it, but I cant feel myself sliding along towards it, and it's
getting quicker and quicker and I am have troubling stopping myself for
long enough to turn around and get away. so what do I do? I have no
idea. I just want to put it down in writing, hoping it might help me,
and maybe, just maybe, somebody out there understands.