Sensitive and confused

[Bellaboo2]

Hi I’m new here and quite nervous about posting. I experience anxiety and depression symptoms quite frequently. I suffer from episodes of depression, anxiety and panic attacks.

My moods shift quite rapidly I can be netrual one minute than anxious or angry the next.

I feel as though I don’t know who I am.I subconsciously pick up traits of others, I always change my career choice and feel myself trying to be like other people.

I feel as though I don’t really enjoy anything I don’t have any hobbies or any friends I hang out with. I find myself very attached and clingy in my relationships though.

I’m having a hard time knowing if I’m living or in a dream. I often feel as though I’m looking at myself from outside my body.

When faced with stressful situations or conflict I am at my worst. I do not know how to cope with the difficulties of life.

I am very sensitive and often over analysis everyone around me trying to see if they like me, if I’m doing something wrong. I feel as though I am wearing a mask in the surface I am happy bubbly (sometimes) and on the inside I am breaking down.

When I was 19 I was diagnosed with BPD. I recently went to a professional and from what they seen I did not meet the diagnosis. I’m really confused with what I’m experiencing, I feel like I don’t have the answers I need. Does anyone else have similar experiences?

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Bellaboo,

I hope it’s okay if I gently extend a caring welcome to you 🙂 I think first posts can be nerve racking. So I just want to reassure you that I feel this is a safe space for you to talk and to be supported...

While I have my own struggles, I think mine are a little different to yours. So I hope it’s still okay for me to write in and support you...

At the moment, you sound as though you’re feeling very lost and confused. I would think that the rapid changes in mood would be very draining, and take a huge toll on you as well...

I feel it’s really painful when a person’s sense of self feels so shaky and fragile, and it makes sense why you tend to reflect/mimic others’ traits. Without that strong “core” identity, I feel maybe it’s almost a survival mechanism to absorb the behaviour, thoughts, etc of others around you...

I don’t know much about you and I could easily be way off the mark. But I have an inkling that your single biggest issue might be not knowing who you are because it sounds like that is feeding into all your other struggles...

Although you are clearly self aware and seem to have quite a lot of insight into your own emotions and behaviour. I feel those will be powerful tools in aiding you to figure out who you are...

I hope you feel proud of yourself for your first post. The first post is often the hardest so I’m really glad you did it...

If you’re feeling up to it, but no pressure or rush, it would be lovely to hear from you again...

Kind and warm thoughts,

Pepper