A new diagnosis: Bipolar 1

[lpa101]

Hi guys, new poster here!

I was recently diagnosed with bipolar 1 (after some close calls and incidences) and feel almost lost about it. It's nice to have the confirmation and the possibility of accurate specific treatment but I'm terrified. The stigma and the social isolation of people with bipolar is such a hard trope to suddenly dispose of, now that I've joined their ranks. I knew my anxiety and depression were bad, and difficult to manage, but I always managed to barrel on and keep fighting, but now it feels like this is something I can't fight anymore.

Weirdly, I'm sad that the new medication might take the mania away. Those ephemeral moments of complete and utter joy are so addictive, regardless of what risks they come with, especially when compared to the bleak gloom that blankets me the rest of the time.

I'm not really sure what I'm looking for anymore. I don't need help socially or academically, I have no issues with romantic relationships or familial connections. Maybe just some assistance on how to make this diagnosis palatable, and to come to terms and be comfortable with it.

Sorry for the long read! I eagerly await to hear from the kind people of beyondblue!

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Ipa,

A gentle welcome and please don’t apologise for your “long read” as you put it. I feel there’s no need...it’s lovely to have you here, and there’s value in you sharing some of your experiences 🙂

It sounds like you’re perhaps still coming to terms with your diagnosis...letting it all sink in. Sadly, yes, I feel you’re right about how there is still a fair amount of misinformation and stigma out there about bipolar...

Admittedly, I don’t have bipolar personally so I may not be the ideal person to respond. That being said, there are many other wonderful people here who have bipolar so they can offer a much better first hand understanding than me...

I believe that there’s a long running thread that’s specifically for people with bipolar to chat. I often see it pop up but I’ve forgotten the name...hopefully someone else can help me out here with the name?

Otherwise, if you type “bipolar” in the BeyondBlue search bar, you’ll find threads that might be helpful to you.

Plus of course you’re more than welcome to continue chatting here if you feel comfortable writing here 🙂

kind and caring thoughts,

Pepper

[RoseToez]

Hi!

I've recently been diagnosed with Bipola II. 7 years ago I was put on heavy anti psychotics because of manic episode which made me zonked out pretty badly. So when i was diagnosed I was freaking out pretty badly what kind of a toll the medication was going to take on my emotions seeing as I've got two small kids and I'm a single mum.. well I'm actually alot happier and can think alot easier. I stress out alot less. It's no where near as scary as I thought it would be.. my bad days are bad but no where near as bad. I dont miss out on that hypo happy me 😊 I dont know how helpful this is or if its allowed but i just thought I'd share my experience

[SammyD100]

Hi lpa101

Welcome to the forums, it's great to have you here!

I believe peppermintbach might have been referring to the thread, 'This Bipolar Life'. I haven't read through it all myself but I do understand that there's a lot of helpful information and support in there for people with bipolar.

As pepermintbach also alludes to, with any diagnosis I think there tends to be a period of adjustment and people can experience a range of emotions in response. Grief, a challenge to your identity, confusion, but also hope and satisfaction that - as you say - it might help provide you with the right treatment and ongoing support. You mention having to fight and not being sure about this; I wonder if, with a diagnosis, life might be less about fighting and more about learning to manage?

It might take you some time to adjust to your diagnosis and this is completely normal. You mention stigma and trope - is this what you yourself have previously believed about bipolar? Or what you imagine other people might think? I don't know how you might be feeling about discussing it with other people around you, but also remember that you don't have to disclose a diagnosis to anyone unless you are comfortable!

I hope through these threads you might find people who have also experienced the same thoughts about losing the manic episodes. I don't have personal experience but I can imagine how sad it might be to contemplate no longer experiencing something so ephemeral and powerful. On the flipside it must be nice to contemplate some of that blanket of doom being lifted, as a bit of a compromise?

It sounds like you have a lot going for you - socially, academically, romantically, and with family. With this type of support I hope you are able to adjust over time and come to terms with a slightly different view of yourself and your identity.

Best of luck,

SammyD

[quirkywords]

Ipa101,

I want to welcome you warmly to the forum.

As you can tell by the replies you have had so far we are a friendly , caring and supportive place.

I can understand how you are trying to come to terms with your diagnosis and how you may be worried about the possible stigma and isolation.

I was diagnosed at 16 with manic depression as it was so long ago before the term bipolar was used.( I now feel so old!)

I was in denial for many years as this was a time of ignorance about mental health and there was no Beyond Blue.

I can really relate to missing the mania, the wonderful joyous part, but not the part that played havoc on my life and my reputation.

The other thing I struggled with was trying to work out who I was , was I the extrovert wild person or the quiet timid person?

I think how I came to terms with my diagnosis and it did take a long time , was to stop fighting, stop saying why me, and stop feeling ashamed.

Everyone is different and copes with the diagnosis in their own way.

About ten years ago I decided to talk to community groups and be open about having bipolar and I had not done that before. The response was very supportive and once I was open people started to tell me about their experiences or about people in their family.

The thread This bipolar life, is full of friendly people and a safe place to go where you know others will understand. If you want have a look, or you can just say hi, or read a bit whatever you want.

I wont write anymore as I know it can seem overwhelming but feel free to post here when you like.

So glad you wrote your first post and not sure I helped but just a little bit about my experience.

Quirky