Hi, I have just joined and this is my first post. I don’t really have
anyone I could ask for advice regarding this matter as I don’t really
want them to know. I think it’s time for me to get help. For few years
now, we’ll actually many years, I haven...
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Hi, I have just joined and this is my first post. I don’t really have
anyone I could ask for advice regarding this matter as I don’t really
want them to know. I think it’s time for me to get help. For few years
now, we’ll actually many years, I haven’t feel well or right. I get
episodes of emptiness and sadness and I would want to do nothing.
There’s also the unreasonable irritation and annoyance towards
everything. When I’m in this state, I’ll just stay on my bed playing
pointless games on my phone all day. My husband understands this and has
been very supportive. Now that I think about it, he probably has been
taking care of our son almost all of the time. He cooks, takes him to
school, cleans, makes me coffee and bring meals to my bed when I’m
isolating myself from the world. I need to stop this negative moment
from happening as this is unfair to him. I barely talk to my son now
because I can’t stand anyone talking to me for a long time. I still
spend time and talk to him but not as much as I should. So this has been
going for years now but I felt it worsened the last couple years. More
days doing nothing. More masks. More bad thoughts. More urges (No, I’m
not suicidal, I wouldn’t do it for my family). I’ve been thinking of
going to the gp for help but when I’m out of my cocoon, I don’t feel the
need to do it anymore. I also don’t want my family to know. Last month
my husband’s mother passed away from cancer. My mother in law, that I
barely visited the last several months because I was weak. She battled
for many years. We always tried to be there for her. We only live 10mins
drive away. On my good days I’ll cook and we’d take it to her place for
lunch or dinner. Or my husband will drop her the cake that I made, or
we’ll take her out with us to the park. But the last several months, I
haven’t been there for her. I was weak and selfish, and I wasn’t there
when she needed support the most. We knew she’s fighting cancer but no
one knew she was going last month. So now that I’ve decided to get help,
I’m not sure how to do it without my husband knowing. He’s got enough on
his plate so I can’t put the worry on him. I’ve thought of talking to
him but I know that’s not fair for him. Shoul I tell him? ••Thank you
for taking the time to read this. Sorry if it wasn’t an easy read as
I’ve been having difficulty to concentrate or letting words come out of
me.