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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Little_Sparrow Yeh well
  • replies: 8

Hi. I'm not looking for advice, as I know most of it. Just need to share. 36 years of depression. Treatment resistant a lot of the time. Lucky to have a handful of good supports. Really tired of life but not going to suicide. Committed myself to not ... View more

Hi. I'm not looking for advice, as I know most of it. Just need to share. 36 years of depression. Treatment resistant a lot of the time. Lucky to have a handful of good supports. Really tired of life but not going to suicide. Committed myself to not doing that years' ago as as I have a responsibility to my Mum, my dogs, my partner. Just getting through. Will I have ECT again? Don't know. Maybe. Just getting through. Is there anyone out there who is in a similar situation? I'm lucky in many ways, supportive partner, financially secure, live in a country like Australia. But nothing shakes the depression. A swim might lift it by a notch but the next day it's back to where it was. Meds are starting to kick in. Sleep gives some relief. Thanks for listening. I just needed to tell someone.

Bella001 Could this be an eating disorder? i think i need some help...
  • replies: 11

Hello I think i need some help but im not really sure. Lately I have been having some really overwhelming thoughts especially in regards to eating. Im having some troubles trying to explain whats happening and im feel quite emotional and a little emb... View more

Hello I think i need some help but im not really sure. Lately I have been having some really overwhelming thoughts especially in regards to eating. Im having some troubles trying to explain whats happening and im feel quite emotional and a little embarrassed so please forgive me if this post doesnt make much sense. Over the past few months i have been having some troubles with food in general and i dont think its normal. I have noticed that when im feeling low or really stressed i will binge eat alot, sometimes to the point that i feel quite sick from overeating. I feel really guilty when it happens as well. The other part is that anytime i eat or drink now even if its healthy i feel really guilty over it, like i dont really deserve it and that others need it much more than i do but i just cant seem to stop . I find myself worrying about everyone else too though not just me, im constantly obsessing if others (more so my close family member) have eaten and checking in on them and if they havent i can feel so much panic and i go into some sort of 'fix it' mode where i start cooking things they might like or going to the shops and buying things and even delivering it to their house and making sure they have eaten either before i do or at the same time as me and that seems to be the only thing that stops the anxiety. This feels really complicated and messy but if anyone could help i would really appreciate it.

DisplayName5742 Constant Internal and External Struggles
  • replies: 15

Hello, First time posting here, so I'll apologize now for any mistakes I make. I'm in a really strange place mentally right now and I'm not 100% sure on how to describe it, but I'll give it a shot. My life has been a up hill battle from getting out o... View more

Hello, First time posting here, so I'll apologize now for any mistakes I make. I'm in a really strange place mentally right now and I'm not 100% sure on how to describe it, but I'll give it a shot. My life has been a up hill battle from getting out of a very toxic household to getting sacked for reasons that are always changing. I've managed to get into Uni (after almost failing the entry test), however every fail hits me really hard to the point where I've felt like giving up many times, kept pushing on. Today on the other hand, after learning I failed an assignment... I'm just staring at the screen. Any activities that usually evoke some sort of emotion out of me just don't, there's just... nothing. I keep trying to tell myself that I can't let this get me down, especially after everything else I've been through. While writing this it seems my emotions have decided to pay a visit, in the form of I just want to cry and scream, while another part of me says doing such things are a sign of weakness and I need to suck it up. A result of my childhood I'm guessing. The latter one always wins, I don't cry often and it's probably hurting me more than I'd like to admit. I always had to be the "strong one" such as when my parents were fighting, even breaking up some fights while my siblings cried in the background, or when people passed away. I always had to function "normally" while everyone else was beside themselves, otherwise things wouldn't get done. This post is a big mess. I do see a counselor, and that does help, I'm also on medication (which I won't say too much on based on community guidelines) which helps as well, but when something bad hits I get knocked off my feet and it's a horrible feeling. I guess what I'm after more than anything by putting this on here is somewhere to get it all off my chest without being judged (I struggle to keep friends because of my past) and hear about coping strategies people use. Regards, Username(insertnumbers)

Err-bear Pessimistic
  • replies: 3

Hi, I am feeling down and I am looking for some perspective. I have been trying to complete a PhD thesis for 6 years now and it is still not done. I have taken 1.5 years in medical leave due to anxiety and depression at various points. The breaks hel... View more

Hi, I am feeling down and I am looking for some perspective. I have been trying to complete a PhD thesis for 6 years now and it is still not done. I have taken 1.5 years in medical leave due to anxiety and depression at various points. The breaks help initially, but afterwards, the thesis is still there and so are my mental health problems. I am completely disinterested in my topic and I find the work to be very intellectually challenging, so working on it is exhausting as a result. I spend most of my time distracted or actively procrastinating. However, I am determined to finish it so that I won't have wasted 6 years of my life, and because it is "nearly done". People keep asking me how much longer it'll take and I honestly don't know. I keep making up deadlines, then half a year blows by and I am still not done. I am pessimistic about ever managing to complete it. It's like I'm waiting for the uni to kick me out so I can evade the blame for my failure. I work from home and don't "get out much". I moved away from working at the university because I was too anxious to work around people. However, now I am very isolated and out of touch with reality. Whenever I do talk to people I feel like an energy/happiness suck. I don't have anything good to say. Days and nights are blending together. I feel like my life is passing me by... I have no income since my scholarship is up. I am living on my partners salary. This is lucky for me but very emotionally taxing. We are struggling with a large weight of credit card debts, personal loans and student loans. I need to finish my degree so that I can contribute to paying our debts. If I could, I'd like to be a competitive athlete. I've been competing in a sport at a high level over the course of my studies. However, I am 31 years old... well past the age of people competing in my sport professionally. I feel like I've missed out and all it will ever be is a hobby... Overall, I am very fortunate and my "problems" seem silly objectively. I feel selfish for posting this here. But I do think I need help. Any suggestions for me? I try to be kind to myself, eat moderately healthy, practice yoga, meditate (Headspace app), exercise, and have previously seen psychologists, psychiatrists and uni counsellors. I have also taken a few antidepressant drugs. None of them improved anything. Anyways, all of these things just seem like procrastination from my thesis. I'm so pessimistic about ever being happy again. -Err-bear

eko Really tired, alone and making poor choices
  • replies: 3

Hey, sorry I'm not sure if anyone will read this but I've been struggling in silence for a few years and now it's suffocating. I've been slowly dealing with what life throws at me and trying to get by, however I just hit an all time low this week. It... View more

Hey, sorry I'm not sure if anyone will read this but I've been struggling in silence for a few years and now it's suffocating. I've been slowly dealing with what life throws at me and trying to get by, however I just hit an all time low this week. It was my birthday Tuesday and I was alone (family lives away, no friends) so to fill that void I spent a significant amount of money and I can't return the most expensive product (I bought a second ps4, I don't even know why? I don't need it and I don't usually spend money so recklessly?) so my 22nd birthday was spent alone and crying the whole day. I've continued crying since then with feeling such immense regret/shame that I feel nauseous. My sleeping is a disaster, I've been desperately trying to fix it but the only way I can be awake during the day is doing all-nighters so the past few days I've been awake for 20+ hours with 1-7 hours sleep in between, I feel awful mentally and physically. I've bought this up with different doctors and psychologists over the years to which they say to that I need to be more strict with my alarm, but I simply cannot fall asleep during the night (and my body wakes itself up during the night even if I'm exhausted), I've tried the every bit of advice to fall asleep but I just toss and turn for hours. When I let my body sleep when it wants without forcing an all-nighter I naturally fall asleep around 7am, which is not great when looking for a 9-5 job. That being said, I'm unemployed. Only had one job at 16 then been unemployed ever since, I honestly feel like I don't have a chance because I don't know how to socialize with people and I freeze/burst into tears so frequently. Still don't even have a driver's license and unsure if I ever can since I panic so often. Overall, I feel like a waste of space with nothing to contribute to society and at this point, it seems I'm too much of a burden that I don't deserve any friends even if I were to find anyone who could tolerate my existence. I've been diagnosed with depression at 14 and anxiety at 17, while I have made big improvements over the years, ever since this year I've relapsed real hard and can't pick myself back up. Really sorry for the huge wall of text. I've been feeling physically sick from regret for three days straight and it's really taking a toll on my mental health, I don't know what to do. Thank you and sorry again if anyone had the patience to read all that...

theonelostfish Tired
  • replies: 1

Hi all, I have just joined the community today have been feeling drained for quite a few months now. Have had daily thoughts about ending it but these have gone away when I think about my family and girlfriend. Being unemployed for a couple of months... View more

Hi all, I have just joined the community today have been feeling drained for quite a few months now. Have had daily thoughts about ending it but these have gone away when I think about my family and girlfriend. Being unemployed for a couple of months now has not helped and my interest in hobbies that I used to enjoy has diminished. I get angry and frustrated more often about my current life situation still living with parents, no career prospects, relationship troubles. I broke down before it's just a very tiring situation and I don't have any interest in doing anything anymore I want it to be over.

white knight The financial world of "snakes and ladders"
  • replies: 3

You know the game well. You all start at the bottom and up you go as the dice rolls. Then just as you think you are ahead, down you slide, everyone laughs but you, hiding your disappointment behind your smile. The thing with a game like that, the win... View more

You know the game well. You all start at the bottom and up you go as the dice rolls. Then just as you think you are ahead, down you slide, everyone laughs but you, hiding your disappointment behind your smile. The thing with a game like that, the winner is the result of pure luck and nothing more. The luck of the dice. There is no real magic ability lurking within us. The Prime Minister or a mathematician would have no more luck than you. So while it is a game, it, like depression, can strike anyone at any time regardless of who you are, how clever you are or how stable you think you are. Take Mr and Mrs average. This modern world of Dad, mum and two kids for example. More often than not both parents work. Lets look at the cash strapped modern family. They experience the never ending ‘snakes’ that they slide down every week. They live on the brink, it could be because of poor financial management, too many expensive purchases etc. All the while their game is more a gamble, for if one of the parents fall ill outside of work as they cant afford income protection insurance (not many can) they drop to one income. Result stress on top of a stressful situation. Even if a workplace accident income drops to 60%. For the family above, they need to find, somehow, more ladders than snakes. Some find it by way of inheritance, others a third job, and some downsize with their home. Some don’t make it. Bankruptcy in 2014-2015 were over 17,000. Some were companies, companies or individuals this is staggering. Imagine the number of families effected by this financial doom? Imagine the number of people struck down with depression during that process of seeing their life as a failure, losing their homes or cars, the humiliation. Little things to some of us like rolling up at a friend’s BBQ driving an old car – “what happened to your lovely Land Cruiser Bill”? "umm, just sold it" The important message here that I want to convey is that bankruptcy is temporary, one day it will end and you are able to seek a limited amount of finance to secure essential items for your basic survival until it does terminate. The numbers show, it is very common. It doesn’t mean its your fault. The roll of the dice remember! Basic financial stress is best to be dealt with by a qualified financial advisor. And as soon as you feel depressed, visit your GP for a talk. Suspect a friend has money issues? Reach out and chat. Tell them its doesn't last forever. Comfort them. Tony WK

Random_name I have no energy to do anything
  • replies: 5

Hi everyone, In April 2018 I was diagnosed with Major depression, Social anxiety and an adjustment disorder. No one in my family ever spoke about mental health so I never really thought about it before all this happened and now I just feel broken, pa... View more

Hi everyone, In April 2018 I was diagnosed with Major depression, Social anxiety and an adjustment disorder. No one in my family ever spoke about mental health so I never really thought about it before all this happened and now I just feel broken, pathetic and weak. I’m having a tough time at the moment, the past 10 months have been the hardest time in my life it’s full of ups and downs and I think I’m just about ready to crack. Just trying to get out of bed each day and find the enthusiasm to do anything anymore is so difficult. I've been on line a lot reading about how people have been in the same situation and what they have done to help them and I just don’t understand these people. Speaking to friends, doing exercise, eating healthy, talking to a psychiatrist. But I don’t understand how people can just do any of that! I have no energy to exercise, I don’t trust anyone to talk to them and I don’t have the energy to do groceries so when I can be bothered to eat then it’s gonna be junk food. Im always tired and all I think about at work is getting home and crawling back into bed, I used to put so much passion into my work and really make changes now I couldn’t care less. The only reason I turn up and do the bare minimum is because if I lose this job I also lose my house, and access to health professionals. I am a burden on those I work with and I hate that it’s come to this but I really just don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t think this job is for me but if I leave I lose everything. I was taken off antidepressants and sleeping tablets in October 2018 because apparently I’m doing well but nothing has changed, even on the medication I didn’t feel any better. I feel like the Dr’s just don’t want to deal with me. I know things have to change, I just can’t do it and it makes me feel even worse, I wish I could wake up one day being totally happy with everything and not have a care in the world but thats never going to happen. I don’t even know why I’m typing this, it’s not like I have a question I guess I just wanted to share my story with people that would listen and hopefully not judge me. I guess any words of wisdom or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you. Regards, Random name.

Louisville So Confused and Exhausted
  • replies: 13

Hello All First off...thanks for reading my post. I am new to this site and not sure how to go really...therefore I will try to keep it small! My diagnosis is major depression and 'aspects' of BPD . I also have issues with alcohol. I understand how I... View more

Hello All First off...thanks for reading my post. I am new to this site and not sure how to go really...therefore I will try to keep it small! My diagnosis is major depression and 'aspects' of BPD . I also have issues with alcohol. I understand how I have come to this point and I won't go into it here. I am just looking for friends to talk to. Most people I know would have absolutely no idea about me...I put on a brave face and everyone either thinks I am ok or basically they don't care (which is fine as I don't truly care about others either! UNLESS they are suffering..then I will do my utmost to help). That may sound mean...it is not meant to. Just that I am surrounded by wealthy, successful and happy people who really would not understand me if they only knew. I am so over it...the meds (that I do not think help)...the struggle daily...I have a 'boyfriend' who I believe is making me worse! He is unemployed, uneducated, unmotivated....you get the gist. I guess I am just wondering if there is anyone out there feeling the same and what you do to deal with it. I absolutely adore dogs so I go to the dog beach/park every day for my 'furapy'! I am currently unemployed and hating my boring life and sitting around thinking rubbish all day/all night....sorry if this is a bit convoluted. Thanks for reading. L

ChloeKatt84 when will this journey end??
  • replies: 2

I have previously commented on another thread but basically ive suffered from anxiety and depression wince i was a teenager and i now 34. i have had to start coming off a lot of my medications as they arent safe to take while pregnant and im trying t... View more

I have previously commented on another thread but basically ive suffered from anxiety and depression wince i was a teenager and i now 34. i have had to start coming off a lot of my medications as they arent safe to take while pregnant and im trying to have a child with my partner through ivf. coming off these mood stabilisers and others meds are making me very anxious and depressed. sometimes i wander if it just too much but i either need to go through this for the baby we both want or i go back on my meds and theres no baby. im just so upset i cant handle feeling like this. im so fatigued and i just want to sleep the days away and im often neauseas. ive talked to my family doctor and he just said its not an easy journey and i need to weigh up whats more important to me. i just dont know what what to do :'(