Hi. As the title says, I really just don’t know. I just know I need to
talk and I don’t know how. I did have someone to talk to, for a while.
She was the best part of my life. She was always there when I needed
her. She’s the only person I’ve ever ta...
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Hi. As the title says, I really just don’t know. I just know I need to
talk and I don’t know how. I did have someone to talk to, for a while.
She was the best part of my life. She was always there when I needed
her. She’s the only person I’ve ever talked to about my real thoughts
and feelings. I still fell, but she was always there to pick me up. We
broke up about a year and a half ago, after being together for a bit
more than a year. Ever since I’ve had no one to pick me up. I haven’t
talked to anyone since either. Not in the way I used to talk to her.
There’s another void left in me where she used to fit. Just another void
among dozens. I guess I should explain exactly how I feel. Some days
it’s just nothingness. Other days I feel everything at once. The
nothingness isn’t a neutral nothingness. It’s a slow, sad nothingness.
Like everything is difficult and I can barely move. And when I say I
feel everything at once, I mean that I’m attacked by negative emotions.
Anger, sadness, regret, guilt. Plus any number of other feelings my
brain feels like torturing me with on that day. It comes and goes. It’s
been happening for the past six years, give or take. I feel just fine,
happy even, for a while. Maybe a day, maybe a week, maybe a month. But I
always fall again. It was especially bad in years 11 and 12 of school. I
thought I just hated school and I’d be fine when I started uni because
I’d be studying what I love to do. I’m now doing that course. Yet I
still fall. And I’m struggling more and more to pick myself up. I should
be loving life right now. I’m young, have amazing friends and I’m
studying something I love. So why do I feel like this? All my passion is
gone. I’m failing assessments because I just don’t care. I need to talk
to someone, but the only time I’m capable of talking about it is also
the only time I don’t want to talk about it. My mother is an absolutely
lovely person, and I know that if I tell her about how I feel she will
blame herself for being a failure of a parent. I can’t do that to her.
My father, on the other hand, just wouldn’t care if I told him. He’d
just tell me it’s all in my head. As for my friends, I know they’d be
there for me. I can guarantee that they would do whatever it takes to
help me. But I don’t want to impose on other people’s lives with my
problems. They all have problems of their own, and I’d hate to see them
inconvenience themselves for me. I need help but can’t ask for it. I
guess this is my first step.
How do I talk to my doctor?
