Isolated, Alone and Unwanted

[elegantDownfall]

I have recently started to feel alone and rather isolated from the rest of the world. I have lost several friends, some of which I have no clue why they no longer speak to me or what I have done wrong. My family is rather old-fashioned and doesn't really understand why I am constantly upset and trying to explain everything to them is difficult.

I feel as if I don't really belong in this world, and living everyday is a burden to my family. I struggle to get up in the morning, find motivation to do the things I used to enjoy doing and rarely go out to any social events or meetups anymore. All I want to do is stay in bed all day and avoid as many people as I can. I know that I will never be good enough to do anything, and is having the urge to give up once and for all.

[blondguy]

Hello ElegantDownfall

Welcome to you and thankyou for being a part of the forum family too!

I understand where you are coming from as I didnt have the courage to post on the forums two years ago as I felt like you do now....and yes its a huge step towards having some peace

Can I ask you if you have a one or two friends (a support network) that you can lean on? Having someone to vent to is always great as it lets us blow off steam and thus a huge step towards recovery.

I have had the same feelings for a long time elegant. It can be hard work to rebuild our foundations by talking to a friend or a GP and the results are more than beneficial to us.

If you wish any additional information about your symptoms (if there is any anxiety...depression..) we can help support you more effectively

you are not alone and thankyou again for being a part of what we do

my kind thoughts

Paul

[Croix]

Dear ElegantDownfall~

You are in a terrible place all alone and your words resonate with me as I've been in the same situation. Please bear with me as I want to talk about that for a moment so you can see similarities and maybe take some encouragement.

I remember when I lost my job. I felt that the reason things were impossible was because of me, that I was a failure and could not succeed. I had completely let down all my family and my employer. I thought things simply could not improve because the problem was me. Also that my family should move on. Killing myself seemed quite sensible. In the meantime everything was too much and all I wanted was to be alone.

I've waded though all this unpleasant experience just now so I could let you know what was really happening. Although I sort of vaguely realized I had depression I had no idea all those thoughts were not my own. I really thought they were. In fact it was the illness steering all my thoughts into a very black and hopeless world, and doing it so well I'd no idea of their origin.

I had help and now am a different person. The help partly was from a GP, a psychiatrist, meds, therapy and hospitalization. It was also partly from my family. It only took a small change in my thinking to realize I'd been completely wrong. While it did not change my physical circumstances, which admittedly were not that good, it did give me the hope, energy and means to cope. Also to be closer to my family.

Nowadays I have occupation, accomplishment, interest, an ability to both love and be loved. Life is worth living.

Now all the above is a very long-winded way of saying there is hope.

So may I ask you if you have medical support? I found it vital. If you do you need to see your doctor and say how you are now. Get your current feelings treated. If not please book a long appointment, and set out everything -including your desire to end it all. Suicidal thoughts need to be addresses straight away.

If you find the idea of a face to face GP too daunting and you are under 25 then eHeadspace (1800 650 890) or Kids Help Line (1800 55 1800) are experienced and understanding. (Kids Help line is a terrible name for a good organization).

In just about every case depression can be cured or, as in my case, held in check, life can be so much better. It does not really matter if your family understands, it is you that has to feel better.

Please talk some more, we do care and will be here

Croix

[BballJ]

Hi elegantDownfall,

I am sorry to read how you are feeling, I have been and still find myself in a very similar space that you are in now. Did all these feelings start coming about from the fact you had lost contact with several friends or have you felt them before.

It is concerning that you feel you want to give up once and for all, I do highly encourage you to seek help from a psychologist, someone you can speak to about how you are feeling and help you work through all these feelings.

You are not alone and we are here to help you.

Please remember you can call the Beyond Blue helpline on 1300 22 4636 24/7 to discuss how you are feeling.

Please, post back as much as you like, we are always happy to talk.

My best for you,

Jay