Is anger a problem for you?

[Scotchfinger]

Who me? No way. Just because I'm old and grumpy and oversensitive and get annoyed by 90% of the population 90% of the time, doesn't classify me as angry, does it?  (smiley, smiley)

My problem, as I'm sure it was for a lot of you, is that I didn't deal with my own anger when I was young. "Anger" was seen as an emotion that could only be expressed by parents or older siblings, those in authority. Boundaries? We never heard of that word in the sixtees and seventies. Ok maybe for cricket, I admit.

It didn't seem appropriate or cool for me to express annoyance, so I never did.

So now I'm making up for lost time. just get angry for fun now. For nothing so I can stay in practice, in form.

I heard that anger and depression are like twin brothers though. I need to work on some of my anger, mostly caused by rumination. The past seems to really influence my current happiness. I wish I could just focus on the present .

[MisterM]

Yes, a big problem.
I have been told I need anger management.
I have punched holes in doors, thrown and broken things.
I am ashamed and can't control my anger.
So much for the medication.

[Elizabeth CP]

You have found a really effective way of managing anger that others can learn from. Being able to express your feelings openly at home is important and doing this respectfully stops things escalating. I also like the way you suggested 'nipping things in the bud' at work etc so things are dealt with early when you are able to speak up calmly and get your needs met. 

Good on you

[Scotchfinger]

thanks Elizabeth, I appreciate your input too.

I think what happens to me and others probably is this:

at the workplace, you start and the first few weeks are like a honeymoon period. Everyone is nice and so you naturally tend to drop your guard. But this is when you need to be the most careful, when you need to establish strict boundaries. better to make very clear what you don't tolerate. example"sorry I don't believe in gossiping". People will talk about you but that is fine. You are protecting yourself and you need to protect yourself because unfortunately the workplace, creates unethical types who love to slander and get others in trouble. They thrive on it !

[white knight]

I've been channeling my anger for years into my poetry. Two examples are below. If you don't like poetry then the first one is just two short verses.

ECONOMIC SELECTION 

There be no oil in Rwanda

As the zeros are added to the slain

And as streams become red

throughout the African plain

And in a short time

as another zero added, a wonder

the west pauses to contemplate

but there's no oil in Rwanda.....

SOCIETY OF SAND 

I’m sitting in a desert

Upon sand of friend and foe

Can’t find a piece of turf

Where I cannot stand on toes

 

I collect a handful of grain

Then watch as it escapes

Just like some friendships

A barren temporary landscape

 

I create my own oasis

By weeping on a weed

But the sand around
me laughs

Because it doesn’t have a need 

 
Till lately it be the friends

That helped me walk the land

They holding me up under my feet

-supportive grains of sand

 

I begin to sink so slowly

As they gather my precious hide

The quick sand laughing so loud

A kind man says goodbye

 

And as I become one of ‘them’

My heart now granuled and dry

I try to weep to water the weed

But sand has no means to cry

 

Damn it! I struggle so

Be damned if I be like them

I crawl out of the society of sand

To remain the man I am…

So might ask what benefit comes to me with my poetry? It is a significant release.

Tony WK

 

[Scotchfinger]

here's to poetry tony!

Poetry or pottery

whatever is your game

get rid of all that anger

get rid of all that shame

[pipsy]

Hi MisterM.  You don't need anger management as such, you need to learn to channel your anger into something you can't hurt/break and something that can't physically hurt you.  It sounds more like frustration than anger you're dealing with.  From previous posts, you've indicated your mum causes you a lot of agro.  Medication won't control your anger, only you can do that.  Medication will help calm you, but first you need to deal with what's made you angry.  Anger management helps us look at what makes us angry, it also helps us deal with the feelings of anger we get.  The situation you're in makes you feel helpless, that causes you to feel angry, it's a vicious cycle.  You need to do something positive to change your living environment.  Once you've made some changes to your living situation, a lot of your frustrations will cease because you will be in control instead of feeling you're being controlled.  

[MisterM]

Hi Pipsy,

I channel my anger into my music.
I have put a hole in one guitar and damaged the bottom of another after my mum has angered me.
But when I am depressed I am angry at everything.