im really confused

[confused83]

Hi all .not sure where to start but here goes . I was diagnosed with depression for over 10 years iv seen dr after dr who wouldnt listen to what i was telling them iv tried three different medications and different doseages with all but none havent worked.  iv ended up in hospital twice now only to be given anxiety medication to take which seemed to help. iv now found a new dr who actually listened to me and saw the state i was in and has picked up on a few things she has refered me to a shrink who im seeing in oct but im needing something now iv spoken to mental health a few times over the phone which was told there is nothing they can do for me and to go back to my dr or call them when i need to well hello when im in a downer i dont want to talk to anyone let alone to call them . My moods vary i can be i real nasty piece of work for a week at a time i then can be in a real super high mood like nothing can bring me down im high as a kite and can be really hyper and i mean hyper and i tend to talk alot and not have a good nights sleep then i can snap out of that and be normal for awhile until out of the blue my nasty side comes back the voices in my head start i hear a mans voice who talks negative and puts me down then i hear a womans voice from time to time then it goes silent i have a brain fart where i cant think or speak normally i also have anxiety on top of it i loose my self when there is too much noise going on at one time and i become nasty saying stuff i dont mean i cant control myself i even have thoughts on ending my life, etc.  Please help!!!!


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[confused83]

Feeling rather sick today and my anxiety has gone through the roof im really nervious about tomorrow seeing someone at mental health the voice in my head telling me not to go and to cancel but i know i need the help i need medication to help me live day by day and to get rid of these voices i can longer hide from it and no longer put on another face and act as if everything is fine when i go out in public i wish its was going to be a quick fix but i know its not going to happen and its a long road ahead of me to recovery . 

[BeeGee]

Are you able to try something to distract yourself for the remainder of the day? See a movie, visit a friend, go for a long walk, do some window shopping, bake something delicious, organise your photos...?

Tomorrow will take care of itself; try to focus on keeping your mind busy today.