feel alone, isolated and that no one understands

[Jess_30]

Hi there new here, I have suffering depression and anxiety for bout 5 yrs now 0 with times where I feel like I am getting better to times I feel I am being dragged down again. At the moment I feel left out and alone hardly have any family around and the ones I do dont haedly talk to me unless I make an effort.

I have been telling people close to me avout my depression but feel as they still dont understand and also by inlaws have been told that I am just looking for attention and that i am crazy so now i get very worried if I mention it and feel that people think I am only sooking. My kids and I mostly stay at home and I amworried that they wont get to make friends or meet people because of me and my insecurities.

Hoping that I can find a different way to deal with this cause it ia eating me up inside

Thanks for listening to me xx

[White_Rose]

dear Jess

Welcome to Beyond Blue. This is a place where you can let out all your fear and pain and someone will reply to you. We try to help as much as possible. I can feel how much pain you are in and I want to tell you that you are not alone.

I was talking with someone this morning about how people who have not experienced depression cannot truly understand how we feel. The "seeking attention" "crazy" and other tags are ill-informed and totally insensitive. BB is doing its best to help get rid of the stigma associated with mental health difficulties.

You have not mentioned if you are getting any professional help with your depression. Can you tell us if you are going to a doctor or psychologist, are you taking any anti-depressants? If not then I suggest you make an appointment with your GP ASAP. Depression is such a beast that recovering alone is almost impossible. You need proper support and if your family is unable to provide it then it's up to the professionals to help you.

If there are people who are close to you but who do not understand depression then you can educate them by giving them some fact sheets. At the top of the page under Resources and under The Facts you will find heaps of information for you and your family and friends. Beyond Blue will send you any information you want, free of charge. Just look and follow the links.

You have not mentioned a spouse. Are you a single parent? If so I can appreciate how much more difficult it can be in your situation. Are your children at school? It may be worthwhile talking to one of the teachers there about keeping an eye on the children. If you feel insecure they may pick up this feeling and not interact with the other students. However, it may be best to talk to your doctor or psych, if you have one, first.

Having talked about all the practical stuff first I do want to reassure you that what you are experiencing is normal in depression. You are not crazy or anything else. It's our brain messing with our mind. Just about everyone writing on this web site has felt as you do. Lack of motivation, down on ourselves, feeling useless and unlovable, frequently crying, can't get out of bed; these are part of depression. I would really like to shoot the Black Dog if it would work.

So please go and see your doctor and continue to write in here. I will be looking for your reply.

Regards

LING

[Jess_30]

Hi ling thanks so much for your reply stuff yousayis so true and I need to keep telling myself ppl are gona not understand if they havent been through it or near it, I guess I get caught up in my feelings hopeing they would understand.

Sorry I should of said it has been bout 7 yrs since my depressikn started and got worse when mum died 5 yrs ago a couple of months after that I met my husband thank god I did otherwise I reckon I would of beenin a very bad placeas I have tried to take stuff before to make this feeling go away.

I had the 2 girls ages 4 and 2 and find it hard alot but have heaps of admiration for si gle parents but only help I have is hubby or daycare its sad I dont have my parents here esp my mum who was my rock ans understood me, esp lately I find it so hard to get out of bed and finding myswlf stressing bout stuff I shouldnt be.

I see a gp regulary who is really good qith me I am on anti depressents and I have gone to see coucellors but I do t stick with it when I should, I just lack interst in anything at the moment.

Jess x

[Snoman]

Hi Jess,

My kids are 10 and almost 12, so I get to send them off to school every day.  As I am unable to work, I am the stay at home dad.  This situation works fine for me.  I can't imagine dealing with such youngsters as yours.

It might be that your meds are not working for you at the moment.  Perhaps you could discuss this with your GP?  Similarly, if you are not having great success with your counsellors, it may be that they are just not the right fit for you, and you need to try another.  A pain, I know, but that could be worthwhile.

Since you are looking for other approaches, I would suggest mindfulness and meditation.  There are loads of phone apps, youtube videos and other information on the internet that can help you with that.  My psychologist practices ACT (acceptance commitment therapy) which is based on mindfulness and has a great track record in dealing with depression.

Snoman

[Jess_30]

Hi snoman thanks so much for those suggestions will def look into i willinging to give things a try if it will help.

[Jess_30]

Have been feeling not good over last couple of days really sad and not wanting to do much and finding myself getting frustrated alot and yelling at kids alot. Think that I wish my famiky would make more of an effort and would want to be around me, I see heaps of other families spending time together but mine dont makes me sad.

[Jeeves]

Hi Jess. Please know that you are never alone in what you are experiencing. Oddly enough, my depression took hold when I had to put my mother into aged care - I'd been her carer for a number of years but couldn't manage it any more. My GP recommended me to a clinical psychologist, who I've been seeing for the last two years. I have good days, bad days and everything in between. 

Only three of my friends know about my depression and my therapy. Two of them I told because they became worried when I stopped talking to them. They had been through their own issues. The third person is only a recent friend and I blurted it out one day when she asked me what was wrong. She's a lot younger than me and I felt very embarrassed about it. I was taken aback when she told me she understood how I felt, as she had anxiety issues of her own that she has battled.

I haven't been able to tell my other friends yet as I still don't think they would understand. But the ones who do know are a great support for me and tend to know when I'm feeling blue - sometimes before I do. You will know the friends and family that you can confide in. Strangely enough they may not be those closest to you, but I have found that they are the ones who tend to care more than you think and will take the time to listen and open their hearts to you. Never give up hope.

[Daisyv33]

Hi Jess!

First of all, you are not alone, being left out doesn't always mean in that way. There are a number of people who thinks about you, cares about and of course understand you, just like a true friend. I'm still a high school student and suffered exactly what your going through for 9 years but i just have to be strong, act like how everyone act and just smile. Smiling helps a lot and no matter in what situation you are in, just smile. It's not the end of the world. Your kids will make friends. Just relax, this is what makes life difficult. Like my quote which i always think of:

"Depression and loneliness are the obstacles blocking the path to happiness"

All you just gotta do is push it aside and smile to the end! Hope i helped you.

[Snoman]

Jess_30

Remember that some of the thoughts in your head and the words that come from your mouth will be the depression talking.  Those are not the real you.  Take the time just to be aware of them as such.  Observe your thoughts, but let them be.  Say to yourself something like "I notice I am experiencing frustration with my kids".

Unfortunately recovery is a bumpy road.  Something we all know all too well.

Hope today is a better day for you.

Sno