I think I’m mentally ill but I also think I’m being dramatic

[honeybee3]

I’m 21 years old and I’ve been a chronic procrastinator since I was in middle school. I can’t keep my room tidy for the life of me, I leave literally everything (even things I want to do) to the last minute, and it’s beginning to have an impact on those around me. I don’t help around the house as much as I should, and my room is a mess. I hate it, seeing my room makes me miserable, and my parents are getting increasingly frustrated about it.
I often sit and scroll through my phone / watch videos / play games that I’m completely bored with for hours but I can never bring myself to get up and do something else.

Recently I’ve been desperately comparing myself to people with ADHD, anxiety, and depression, trying to find similarities that could explain why I’m like this - but I’m worried that I’m just trying to find an excuse, and that I don’t actually have any mental health problems.

My parents think I’m just lazy and I think they might be right, but I can’t talk to them about my mental health or they’ll think I’m just making excuses.

I honestly don’t know what the answer is, whether I’m just looking for excuses or if I actually need help. I feel like at home I can’t do anything but it doesn’t affect my work life - I still keep busy at work and do things there, but I can’t for the life of me get anything done when I’m at home or at uni.

Does this sound like I’m just lazy / out of the habit of being productive, or may there be more to it? Who do I talk to to get help for this?

[honeybee3]

OP here, one more thing to add

My uni grades are also really good - but I can never seem to get any work done until literally the day it’s due

My grades make it seem like I’m organised and capable but honestly they don’t reflect the level of work I put in - I’m just naturally good at writing so my last-minute assignments end up getting good grades. But when I’m actually trying to sit and do them, I could sit there for 3 hours watching YouTube, bored at what I’m watching and completely stressed about how I’m not doing work - and I still don’t get started.

[Croix]

Dear Honeybee3~

Welcome here to the Forum, its a good move to come here, even if it feels uncomfortable to start with, as you get other people's views and experiences, which can be a great help.

Just to give you an idea what can happen, I suffer from an anxiety condition and as a result procrastinate like mad. I put things off and then do them at the last minute.I've often wondered why and came to the conclusion my anxiety state increased my fear of failure.

Now I'm not sayng you have the same thing. What I am saying is that it would be only sensible for you to have a thorough physical (and mental health) checkup with your GP in an extended consultation. Then take things from there.

Franky I doubt it is laziness - it might be of course - but it does not sound like that to me -in fact it sounds very much as I used to be (including going to work OK)

Do you think you can get to see the doctor and talk it all over there?

Croix

[Kat_]

Hi honeybee3,

I'm sorry for what you're going through. It's endlessly frustrating and stressful when you feel powerless to start things, even the things you want to do.

Please do correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems you may see laziness as someone who simply can't be bothered, or is out of practice and doesn't care to make the effort to change. This strikes me as very different from what you describe, which seems a lot more like you are aware of and upset about your difficulties getting started on tasks, staying organised and clean, etc...

I'd also like to add on a personal note that I've found that it's very rarely the case that people are just 'lazy' (i.e., as you said, they could be possibly depressed, anxious, or have ADHD). Mental health, in my opinion, touches everyone, and is not an excuse but rather a framework to understand what you're going through and how you can work with it, through it, or accept it so that you can live a little more comfortably.

Also, whether or not you actually have any diagnosable condition - you are clearly seeking support, and therefore, you need it! If this is impacting your life to the point that it's frustrating your parents and yourself and you haven't managed to find a solution on your own (which is totally normal, I might add), seeking help is the right option for you, no matter whether or not you have a mental health issue.

Sorry this post turned into something quite long - I hope what I've said is helpful in any capacity. Best of luck to you.

Kat

[quirkywords]

Honeybee

i too welcome you to the forum.

I was a procrastinator with my studies and still am untidy, I used to think about my assignments when it may look like I was nit doing much. When I wrote them I had a plan but I remember running to the tutors office to hand it with 2 mins to spare, I would would view next time I would get in early but I never did,!

If you like let us know what you decide to do.
thanks for sharing your story.

I agree with Croix that having a check up can clear things up an help you work out what to do next.

[Truc]

Hi honeybee,

Im an introverted, my communication is not that good as comparing to other people, so please dont mind if I may mistakenly hurt you by saying something you do not like, maybe it is just our background is so different.

Firsts, i think you do not have a serious mental issue but instead, you have different priorities in life, when the things are not due yet, you do not do it immediately because they are not priorities for u at the moment, so is that strange ? No it is absolutely normal to me, sometimes ive been like that as well, it is just about priorities, however, does it cause you problems ? No you still get high scores, so should you worry ? No you are doing great with ur priorities in my opinion.

Secondly, about your a bit messiness, hmm, I think it is normal as long as it is 'habitable' to you, sometimes cleaning up is boring and taking time, not many people like it, thats why people go to work and busy with working and hire cleaners to help them becauae they are interested in their work more than cleaning up, cleaning up is a job or a skill somehow, but some people like some people dont like, is there anything wrong, no totally normal, however, because u live with ur parents, they may not like the idea u dont help them out much, so I have an idea for ya, why dont you just stop being around and spending time with your parents normally, instead when they try to clean up, you get involve because you want to help them, you want to clean up with them, u love them and you want to spend time with them...etc all at once isn't that great, no spending normal time but spending time when they are doing that with them, then no more scolding frustration or anything else like that. I hope its helpful and if you need someone to talk to i can try to.